Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(57)
*
On the fourth day of his vision quest, Ryder sat cross-legged on the mountain. He’d been in and out of consciousness the past few hours. Spirits of the living and the dead visited him to impart their wisdom, their forgiveness, and their love.
He reached for a bottle of water from the pack Carlos must have left recently, judging from the temperature of the cold water. His friend had watched over Ryder during his quest, ensuring his safety, but they had not met face to face since the night of the purification lodge. Ryder did leave several stones for Carlos in a spot between the house and the ledge where they had agreed upon, letting Carlos know they had a bond as old as the Earth.
Occasionally, Ryder heard chanting and drumming from the valley below where those at the base camp ate, sang, and danced, occasionally checking on the three men who had chosen to also undergo vision quests with the use of binoculars.
But Carlos preferred to watch over Ryder the way it had been done for centuries. Ryder felt safe knowing Carlos was nearby.
A rustling in the brush made Ryder turn to his right, and he spotted the amber-eyed coyote that Megan and he had encountered up here.
“Hello, my brother.”
The coyote stared at him, as if measuring his worth. Telepathically, the creature said, “You take life too seriously. You need to find a balance between wisdom and playfulness.”
He’d learned firsthand what could happen when people let play take them away from what they should be focusing on. He’d gotten injured playing football in Kandahar, and Gino D’Alessio died as a result.
Shake it off.
He needed to shake off the negative thoughts like that. Without speaking aloud, he asked, “Are you my spirit guide animal?”
He’d waited for days for one to appear, the animal that would guide him spiritually on his new path, but none had come.
“No, I’m attached to your female. When will she return?”
He smiled. That made sense, because Megan did embrace both wisdom and playfulness. From what he recalled of the meaning of the coyote spirit animal, being a jokester was one of its main traits.
“You need to lighten up, Ryder. Play a little. Come on.”
The day at the Gilman Tunnels, she’d gotten him to play by shedding his boots and socks and wading with her in the freezing-ass-cold Rio Guadalupe. She’d teased him into other playtime, as well, the night they’d first explored her kink side.
But the coyote also represented bringing a balance of wisdom and playfulness together.
The coyote left, and Ryder grounded himself again. He picked up his drum and pounded in a rhythm that mimicked a heartbeat. Just as he and Megan had synchronized their breathing, he matched the drumbeats with those of his own beating heart. As the sun set behind him, a vision floated before him, suspended in air over the ledge, appearing to represent the spirit of the rattlesnake Megan had shot.
The snake’s primal energy force lived on, helping Ryder see that was true of those who had been lost to this world. They lived on in other places in the universe not accessible to him at this time. But always watching over him.
Carlos’s spirit animal was the snake, and Ryder knew more about the meaning behind this one. If indeed the snake was his as well, his future would hold many healing opportunities, change, important transitions, and increased energy.
“Are you one of my spirit guides?”
The snake hovered before him, coiled, its rattle moving while not making a sound.
When the vision began to fade, Ryder called out. “Don’t leave. I need to know!”
The crunch of Carlos’s boots behind him caused the vision to disappear. “Christ, man, don’t move!”
Ryder remained still while a skirmish of some sort ensued behind him. Curious when the struggle ended, he turned in time to watch Carlos take a stick and fling a writhing rattlesnake into the rocks where it slithered to safety for the night.
Ryder grinned, but was too weak to stand on his own. Carlos approached. “That snake was sitting barely a foot away from you. Shit, good thing I came up to check things out before I turned in for the night.”
“No worries. It wouldn’t hurt me.”
Carlos seemed puzzled at first then smiled. “Spirit-animal vision?”
Ryder nodded and returned the smile.
“Not a moment too soon. It’s time to go to base camp for the closing ceremony.” While some chose to conduct their vision quest alone, one of Ryder’s goals had been to make connections with people again, so he had chosen the group approach.
Carlos helped him to his feet and Ryder brushed off the red dirt from his black shorts. His friend picked up his empty water bottles, stowed them in a bag, and handed it to Ryder. Carlos carried the heavier drum and stick.
“Wait. I have some rabbits for tonight’s giveaway.” He’d spent time hunting earlier in the day. While he hadn’t been as successful as he would be with greater strength, he wanted to present something to the shaman and lodge leader as a small token of what Ryder had received from this experience. He bent to pick up the animals carrying them by their hind feet.
As they walked along, Carlos said, “We truly are brothers then. Let’s go. After the closing, I’ve got a surprise for you at the house.”
Ryder leaned heavily on his brother as they walked down the darkening path to the Jeep. He downed another bottle of water on the way to camp. Once there, everyone gathered in a council circle with those who had maintained the base camp, and the vision seekers took turns sharing what they had discovered.