Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(59)

But that was in the past. He wasn’t going to let that happen. He had even more people to call who cared about him if things got that dark again. But did she have any f*cking clue how close Ryder had come a few times?

“I thought hospital records were confidential.”

“I didn’t see your records, but I know you did time in the psych unit. I came down here looking for you soon after your discharge. Found Carlos and spoke with him, but he didn’t know me from, well, Adam, and wouldn’t say anything.”

At least he could trust his long-time friend, but he still had no f*cking clue what was going on and what it had to do with Megan.

“I met Megan at Top’s wedding. We talked that week about a number of things, including how she’d helped her brother deal with his PTS issues.”

Maybe Patrick’s issues didn’t cross over into being diagnosed as a disorder the way Ryder’s did. No wonder he functioned a lot better.

“I broke in here and put a camera in your bedroom to keep an eye on you.”

He stood abruptly sending his chair flying backwards. “You what? What gives you the f*cking right to—”

Her fist pounded the table. “Because I don’t want to lose anyone else I care about! I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I don’t care if you press charges—or Patrick or Megan either, for that matter. You have to admit that, when Top put you on this mission to watch his sister, you came back to the living.”

He had—but that didn’t give her the right to…

Holy f*ck! “Which bedroom did you wire?” If she had compromising videos of Megan, he’d snatch her blonde head bald.

“I figured you weren’t into a frilly iron bed, so I set it up in the bedroom with the king-sized one.”

He relaxed and sat down again, still not sure what to think about having Grant watching what he did in the privacy of his bedroom on a video feed. Lord knows nothing salacious had happened in his bedroom since he’d lived up here.

“You mind telling me why you involved Megan in your crime?”

Her mouth tensed. “Megan struck me as something who could understand us and know how to deal with the pressures from flashbacks and triggers. I also had a gut feeling that all you needed was for Top to give you another mission and you’d get it together.”

“Wait. Top sent you?” He shook his head. “No, Top wouldn’t put Megan in danger like that.”

“No. He didn’t know anything about what I had in mind.”

“What if Megan had found you in there? The woman knows how to handle a sidearm. Someone could have been killed.” Ryder wasn’t so certain Megan would have been the one coming out on the losing side of such an encounter.

“I knew her whereabouts when I went in for the computer. And I kept watch on the house the entire time you were there with her.”

Some watch guard he was. He hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary when they came and went from the condo.

“How did you know she’d get in touch with him about the break-in?”

“I didn’t, but before I could call him to alert him about a break-in, he called me to ask if I could track down someone near Albuquerque to check on Megan.”

Everything had come together better than had happened with many of the five-part Fragmentary Orders issued during his deployments. Had the Great Spirit been pulling some strings for him? Clearly, the one needing rescuing was Ryder, not Megan. Still, that she had been thrown into the middle of Grant’s crazy scheme pissed him off.

“Does Megan know about this yet?”

“No, but I brought her computer with me. I think it would be easier for you to take it back to her.”

“Easier on you or me?”

She smiled for the first time. “Me, of course.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “Jesus, Grant, I don’t want to have to tell her someone I know and once trusted was responsible for shattering her trust and security.”

Grant flinched and her smile faded, but goddamn it, if she thought he could continue to trust her after doing this, she needed to have her head examined by the VA shrinks.

“Wilson, you two are good for each other. I hope you won’t hold what I did as a reason to stop seeing her.”

At least Top wouldn’t blame him for screwing this up. “What did Top say when you told him?”

“Well…”

“You haven’t told him.”

“I was getting ready to yesterday, but Karla’s…having a hard time.”

“Shit. He must be beside himself. Does Megan know about his wife? Heck, she might be in Denver now.”

“No clue what she knows, but she’s still at her brothers in Albuquerque as of this morning. Adam’s a private man, though, so don’t say anything unless she does.”

“I won’t. But you’d damn well better find a way to fill him in on what you did—and soon. I’m going to get at least one night’s sleep before I go to see Megan, but only if you’ve removed that f*cking camera from my—”

“That’s where I was when you came in.” She placed a small device on the table that had been in her hand all along.

He reached over to pick it up. The thing was as small as a gumball and dusty. Looked like it had been there for months, and he’d never had a clue.