Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(28)
It took several minutes to cross the grotto, so huge it was.
When they reached the far side, they found three pirates waiting on the dock in front of the palace. These pirates flagged the Sphinx toward an empty berth but couldn’t help laughing at the sight of the ridiculous craft. While Paul cast a line to them, Jack ducked behind the mast and took out a roll of bandages.
Leaning in toward Paul’s ear, Laura whispered, “It’s ‘wild’ time. Did you find any?”
Paul shook his head. “But I still have to go.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Paul’s eyes lit up. He was surprised to realize there was nothing he wanted more at that moment than for Laura to go with him. He started to speak, but Jack stepped between them. He was busy wrapping the bandages around his head.
“That would be a very bad idea,” he said. “These are pirates. Cutthroats. You drag a woman along with you, you’ll lose all credibility.” He noticed Laura staring at him in disbelief and said hastily, “You’ll lose credibility with them, not with me!”
She shook her head and pointed at the bandages covering his face. “What are you doing?”
Jack finished bandaging his head, leaving only his eyes and a spiky tuft of brown hair visible. “Keep it down,” he said quietly. “My reputation has preceded me.”
With a slightly-less-than-casual jerk of his head, he directed their attention toward the palace wall. Plastered there like wallpaper were hundreds of posters featuring an unflattering woodcut likeness of Jack with the following words:
CAPTAIN JACK BRAVADO
WANTED
Dead, Undead,
Or Temporarily Alive
“Little help here?” Jack held the loose end of the bandage toward Paul.
“What did you do to them?” Paul asked as he tucked the bandage tightly behind Jack’s head.
“Let’s just say I have a tale to tell,” Jack replied. “I’m taking a huge risk bringing you here, but that’s the kind of selfless hero I am—”
“That, and the emperor would have executed you if you didn’t,” Laura pointed out.
“Right, that too. So don’t do anything else to get me dead, okay?”
The three pirates plunked a gangplank onto the deck and swaggered aboard, all bad breath, body odor, and scurvy. It did not escape Jack’s notice that each of them wore red carnations.
The burliest of the three bowed an exaggerated bow, smiled an exaggerated smile, and said with exaggerated hospitality, “Ahoy, young prince! Cap’n Head bids you welcome and promises safe passage. Now if you please to come with us.”
He grabbed one of Paul’s arms. The lankiest of the three pirates grabbed Paul’s other arm, and the two of them marched the dumbstruck prince straight down the gangplank and up the steps into the palace.
That left the sleaziest of the three pirates behind. After he allowed his eyes to ride Laura’s curves for a few moments, he sidled up to her and asked, “Hey missy, how’d you like to dock?”
Laura instantly raised her hands to shove him away, but then thought better of touching the man’s filthy clothing and simply said, “Eat the poop deck and die!”
She stormed below deck, leaving the pirate to chuckle in her wake… until he noticed Jack’s bandaged face.
“What happened to you, matey?” he asked suspiciously.
“Uh, it’s a long story. Epic.”
The pirate leaned against the mast, crossed his arms, and said, “I got time.”
At that moment precisely five nautical miles from Treasury Island, Seeboth’s Shadowship descended from the clouds unnoticed.
The palace of red coral appeared to consist of nothing but one very long hallway that ended at two very large doors. During his hasty march sandwiched between his two pirate escorts, Paul had seen no other halls or doors letting off the passage.
When they reached the very large doors at the end of the hallway, the burly pirate said, “Arr, Cap’n Head will see you now, lubber.”
“He be waiting inside,” said the lanky pirate as he heaved open one of the doors.
“And don’t stare,” warned the burly pirate, shoving Paul inside.
The door boomed closed behind him.
Mounds of treasure glittered in haphazard piles, forming a narrow path to a dais on the opposite side of the huge room. Gorgeous — but mismatched — tapestries adorned the walls, and exquisite — but dusty — statues lay forgotten and unappreciated.
Not sure what he should do, Paul walked along the valley of gold coins and multicolored jewels until he reached the dais. It resembled the helm of a sailing ship, with a wooden railing and what appeared to be a throne fashioned from a ship’s wheel. At the moment, the throne — if that was what it was — sat with its back to him. Paul couldn’t see if anyone was seated there.
Wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, Paul took a deep breath and said, “Captain Head, I… uh… I extend you royal greetings from Hofnar, sovereign of Lilypine…”
The ship’s wheel swiveled to face him.
It was indeed a throne.
And someone was indeed sitting upon it.
The notorious Captain Head, Kingpin of Organized Piracy.