Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(24)

“Of course we will,” Laura scoffed. “Purple clouds and pink lightning? That’s always a good sign.”

“It’s pink lightning, people,” Jack said. “How bad could it be?”

Unable to wait for a better cue, a pillar of water geysered from the sea and splashed down upon the deck. Condensing into a form of rippling curves, the Weather Goddess stood before them looking ready to surge.

Jack was quite impressed. “Welcome aboard,” he said in the deepest voice he could muster.

“Look upon me and tremble, mortals, for I am in the mood to sink something!” she declared with a voice that rumbled like thunder and shrieked like a hurricane.

“Uh… we… we meant no disrespect,” Paul said.

The Weather Goddess whirled on Paul, her eyes flashing. A huge wave slapped the side of the ship and staggered everyone but her.

As Laura steadied herself, she muttered, “‘It’s pink lightning,’ he says. ‘How bad could it be,’ he says…”

But Jack wasn’t fazed. As his eyes skimmed across the seething green sky, he started to smile.

“Why do you disturb my sea?” the Weather Goddess demanded.

“We… I… am on a Quest,” Paul said. “I pursue an evil wizard—”

Laura pushed Paul to his knees and knelt beside him. “And we beg your mercy, mighty goddess,” she said.

When the Weather Goddess saw their respect, the storm in her eyes calmed ever so slightly. All around them, the sea began to settle as well.

Jack didn’t notice any of that, though. He sensed an opportunity and was getting ready to make his move. Swashbucklers were always ready to make a move. Licking his finger, he held it aloft to check the direction of the wind one last time then pushed between Paul and Laura.

“I’ll handle this.” He winked at the goddess. “Hey there. You’re pretty cute for a hurricane.

The tempestuousness instantly returned to her eyes. “What did you say?”

“Name’s Bravado,” he said. “Jack Bravado. Captain of the Sargasso Sphinx. Yeah, this is my ship.” He patted the rail proudly and flexed his chest at her.

The Weather Goddess stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Jack, what are you doing?” Paul hissed at him. “Stop—”

But Jack forged ahead with even greater disregard for the safety of all concerned. “I think we both know what’s going on here. You’re frustrated. Lonely. I get that. Well, never fear, Jack Bravado is here. Trust me, I’ll bring some sunshine back to your cloudy day.”

“How dare you!” the Weather Goddess finally shrieked as she fountained back into the air. “You — you’re all the same!”

She dove into the sea and the water convulsed.

“Uh oh,” Jack said.

The waves around the ship coiled upward to form five massive waterspouts like the fingers of a giant hand. Then, just like a giant hand, they grabbed the Sargasso Sphinx and hurled it up among the churning clouds.

Jack hugged the wheel and Paul clutched the mast, but Laura lost her grip and went skidding away. Without thinking, Paul plunged his sword into the deck to create a handhold and grabbed Laura’s wrist before she slipped over the edge.

The storm clouds parted to reveal a velvety sky and a glassy sea. The Sphinx plummeted into those calm waters with a horrendous splash and a bone-jarring crash, but through it all, Paul managed to hang on to Laura.

After taking a few moments to catch their breath, Paul hoisted Laura onto the deck as Jack climbed to his feet behind the wheel. They stared at each other in shock, but all of them were shocked for different reasons.

“Everyone okay?” Jack asked. “No one hurt—”

Laura cracked him across the jaw with a very solid punch.

“Hey! What was that for?” Jack cried.

“You tried to seduce a goddess — are you insane?!” Laura asked.

“I think I’m a little more qualified to read the weather than you are,” Jack said defensively. “She was definitely sending me signals.”

“What are you talking about?” Laura asked.

“You know, ‘Green sky at morning, sailor take warning, green sky at night…’” Jack winked at Laura. “’…sailor’s delight.’”

“You’re not insane,” Laura said. “You’re an idiot. That’s not even the rhyme!”

Jack turned to Paul, for he was clearly not getting anywhere with Laura. “You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”

“I think…” Paul forced himself to look Jack in the eyes. “I think we need to establish who gives the orders around here.”

Jack nodded. “You’re the prince, no argument there.”

“Then why did you disobey me?” Paul asked. “I told you to go around the storm.”

Reaching into his pocket, Jack produced his telescope and scanned the horizon. “I knew what I was doing.”

“That’s not the point!” Paul felt something snap inside him, felt something boil up within his barbarian blood. “Whether you like it or not, I’m the prince here. I’m in charge. Do you understand? Princess Luscious’ life depends on me! And so does my father’s kingdom! I can’t fail — I refuse to fail because of you!”