Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(20)
“Ouch,” she said.
The skinny knight sniffed, rather proud of his handiwork. “No need for thanks. Fiat Oblivytum — pretty standard counterspell, actually. Cancels out most of your basic evil-magic manifestations—”
“Does it work on gravity?” Laura asked.
The skinny knight did not appear to understand the question until Laura kicked the bottom of the ladder and sent him crashing to the floor beside her.
“No need for thanks,” she told him sarcastically.
Paul ran forward to help her stand, but Laura batted his hands away. “Don’t touch. I can do it myself.”
“What… what happened here?” Paul asked.
“What do you think? I walked in and he did that to me.” Laura indicated the outline of her floating body chalked onto the wall. “Then he took Luscious and they flew off to see the pirates on Treasury Island. After that he promised to ‘take her to the full moon and beyond.’ I thought I was going to gag.”
“The full moon,” Paul repeated. Something about the full moon bounced around his head in search of a blank to fill. A moment later it snapped perfectly into place, and Paul wheeled toward the courier in horror. “Isn’t… isn’t the full moon the time when Shadow Wizards perform… you know… their sacrifices?”
All the color drained from the courier’s face, much as the bedchamber doors had drained from their doorway. “Merciful gods, you’re right! And the full moon is only a few days away! We must get you a ship — there may still be time to catch Seeboth before they reach Treasury Island!”
Without looking, the courier shoved Paul toward the doorway, only to slam him directly into the imposing figure of Emperor Duncan. The emperor’s eyes were red from tears. Paul had never imagined that such a great conqueror and leader could look so weak.
“Emperor!” bowed the courier.
Everyone else bowed as well.
The emperor took Paul’s hand and squeezed it. Squeezed it with the strength of desperate helplessness. “I beg of you, save the life of my daughter.” The emperor’s voice sounded as if it were grinding gravel. “Save her and she shall be yours. Fail her… and you shall be mine.” The emperor squeezed Paul’s hand one last time, this time with the painful strength of a threat. He needed say no more.
The courier bustled Paul from the room.
Laura hadn’t realized her mouth had been hanging open until words started to crawl out. “Um… did someone say ‘sacrifices’?”
15
RED CARNATIONS
Down at the docks of Theandrea where a sleazy tavern squatted along the bustling waterfront, a rather sordid history was about to catch up to its protagonist.
“You look like you could use a drink,” he said.
Then he said, “Name’s Bravado. Jack Bravado. Captain of the Sargasso Sphinx.”
The man who called himself Jack Bravado perched roguishly at the bar. Tousled, tanned, and clad in a billowy tunic and a very fine pair of boots, the swaggering egomaniac and part-time swashbuckler attempted to sweet-talk a buxom serving girl as she cleared empty mugs from a table nearby.
Behind them, an unruly collection of sea scum huddled over drinks in the darkness.
“Yeah, that’s right,” he continued. “I’m a captain. Got my own ship.”
Two pirate thugs who wore filthy pantaloons, sweeping hats, and ragged longcoats — each with a single red carnation tucked into the lapel — sauntered up on either side and tapped Jack Bravado on the shoulder.
“We been lookin’ fer you, matey,” said the first thug.
“That’s great, you found me,” Jack Bravado said without taking his eyes from the serving girl. It was time to unleash his finishing move. “So, darlin’, I was thinking maybe we could sail a few uncharted territories together—”
That finished things all right. She threw a half-empty mug of stale ale in his face before storming off to the kitchen.
“Right. Next time, then!” Jack called after her, wiping his face on his sleeve. Then he wheeled angrily on the two pirates. “Thanks a lot! You completely threw off my rhythm.”
Dumbstruck, the pirates just stared at him.
“Don’t ya know who we are?” asked the second pirate.
“Hey, if you’re looking for a prophetic seer, Sister Blister is two doors down,” Jack said. “If you’re looking for a swashbuckling hero—”
“We be pirates, you moron!” barked the first thug, sinking his hook hand into the bar.
Jack wiped his eyes more carefully this time and took a closer look. Recognition turned his eyes and his mouth into a trio of comical Os and he slowly edged away.
“Ah, right. The whole hook thing, there.”
“You know why we’re here, Bravado,” said the second thug. “You’re a loose end with a big mouth.”
The first pirate pried his hook from the bar and rounded on Jack. “Time to shut yer blowhole, lubber.”
Jack flashed a winning smile that completely failed to mask his nervous laugh. “No need for that, fellas. My blowhole is puckered plenty tight right now, trust me. Besides, no one listens to my crazy old theories.” When the pirates failed to respond, Jack added, “Right. So… are you guys alone?”