Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(23)

To say Seeboth was mortified would have been a gross understatement.

To say Seeboth planned to mortify someone else for this would have been far more accurate.

“Excuse me, my precious,” Seeboth said through gritted teeth. “I have a storm to deal with.”

He whirled from the cell and sealed the door behind him.

Left alone, Princess Luscious parted her dripping bangs only to find Rupert the Rat once again leaning against the wall. She once again sprang onto the bench.

“Why can’t you horrid beasts leave me alone?” she cried. “Go away!”

Rupert shook his pointy little face and sauntered forward.

SHRIEK!

The ship abruptly heaved and the harsh motion tore the shelves from the wall. Rupert dove to the side, but the shelves crashed onto his tail, pinning him to the floor.

“Ha! Serves you right!” Princess Luscious said. “When Seeboth returns, he’ll take care of you!”

Princess Luscious had never seen pure terror before, but as she looked down into Rupert’s eyes, she was pretty sure that was precisely what she was seeing there.





Demog the Terror stood rock steady on the storm-tossed deck as Seeboth emerged from below. The wizard grabbed the Terror’s arm for support as they crossed through the gale.

“My lord, we have no time for this!” Demog yelled above the shrieking wind. “We’re being pursued! The ship can fly — lift us above this storm and we can reach Treasury Island in half the time!”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I am seducing a princess back there!” Seeboth sputtered through the driving rain. “I must fall in love with her for the sacrifice to achieve full potency, and a moonlight cruise is part of my strategy!”

“I would think the typhoon might be something of a mood killer!”

“Not for long!”





With a very unprincesslike grunt, Princess Luscious heaved the shelves up just enough for Rupert to slip free then leaped back on the bench quicker than a lightning strike.

Rupert cradled his bruised tail and looked up at her, humbled.

“Go on!” she said, shooing him away with her hands. “Go! Just go!”

Rupert nodded and bowed back into his hole.

“Rats,” thought Princess Luscious, sagging against the wall until the purple mold growled at her again. “Why can’t it ever be puppies?”





Seeboth’s puppies swirled about his feet as the wizard stormed into his cabin and gestured at the large mirror. The reflection twisted and bent until it took the shape of a beautiful, curvaceous woman whose body was composed entirely of rippling water, with hair made of clouds and eyes that flashed like lightning. She spoke.

“You’re channeling the Weather Goddess, and here’s what I’m doing in your world today. I’m feeling mostly sunny throughout the Moody Sea, but I’ve got to admit, down around Treasury Island, I sense a little pre-monsoon system moving in, so you can expect some pretty rough sailing…”

“I thought so.” Furious, Seeboth stretched out his arm and zapped the mirror with the magic of his finger.

FLASH!

The Weather Goddess instantly stood before him in the middle of his cabin. Disoriented, she glanced about until her eyes fell on Seeboth. An icy shiver radiated from her, and the wizard felt a flurry of snowflakes whisk past his cheek. “How dare you!” she spat. “I am a goddess—”

“Well, I am a’wooing a princess, and your storm is disrupting everything!” Seeboth snapped. “You’re disrupting my woo!” he added for good measure.

“What can I say?” she said. “It’s that time of the year.”

“Then I suggest we discuss a new forecast,” Seeboth said. He lifted his hand and it glowed like the sun above a parched and blighted dust bowl.

The Weather Goddess stared at his threatening handful of fiery drought. “But… I can’t just… the rain must fall somewhere.”

“Fine! Then go vent your storm upon our pursuers — just not upon us! Now begone!”

With another wave of his hand, she vanished, and just like that, the seas around the Shadowship calmed.





Some distance behind, Jack wrestled the Sargasso Sphinx through the mountainous waves while Paul and Laura squinted into the spray.

“We’ll never catch them in this!” Laura said.

“Maybe not, but the Moody Sea is the quickest route to Treasury Island!” Jack called back. “It’s our best chance!”

A monstrous wave splashed over them, nearly washing Paul into the sea.

“Laura’s right!” he choked. “We can’t catch them in this storm! They’re too far ahead! Jack, turn around…”

Jack shook his head. “Look, neither of you have ever been beyond the Empire of Bridges, right? Probably just as well, but you’re in my territory now, and you’re going to have to trust me.”

Laura glared at Paul as if to say, You’re the prince here, so take charge of this situation!

Paul cleared his throat. “Jack, I… I command you to go around the storm.”

Jack shook his head again. “No time for that. Like I said, you’re going to have to trust me. We’ll be fine.”