Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(154)

“He didn’t know what situation he was leaving you in. How could he?

Maybe he thought he was doing you a favor by stepping away, by not permanently breaking up the family he’d already…damaged.” 434



Kellan’s eyes snapped down to mine. “A favor? My dad used to whip me with his belt when he got angry. He’d hit me so hard that I had to sleep on my stomach for days afterwards. And I learned early on that running away from him would only make it worse when he did catch me. So I had to stand there, like a dog, and let him beat me. How is that…a favor?”

Kellan’s eyes watered as he told me a horror that he never had before.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook my head. “He didn’t know…maybe you should see him so you can tell him, so you can finally talk about this stuff with someone.”

He brushed past me, shaking his head. “I don’t need to talk about it, Kiera. I’m fine.” He looked back at me as he resumed his pacing. “And I don’t need to see him…ever.” He raised his chin. “Besides, I do have family. I have one aunt who despises me as much as my mom did. But I don’t care. I don’t need them. I’m fine on my own.” Knowing Kellan hated to be on his own, hated being alone, I shook my head and stepped in front of him, breaking his cycle of movement.

“That’s just it, you aren’t on your own anymore. You have family members out there that want to get to know you.” He started to look away from me and I ducked down to meet his eye. “You have a sister, Kellan…don’t you want to know her?”

Sighing, he paused and looked over my shoulder. “Hailey told me I have a brother, too…”

I smiled at how his family was getting bigger and bigger. He’d been alone for so long, maybe this was a good thing, not the nightmare he seemed to think it was. “Hailey? Is that your sister?” Kellan nodded, then looked back down at me. Shrugging, he said, “I gave her my cell number once she told me who she was, and we’ve kept in contact.” He smiled a little, then a short laugh escaped him. “She’s pretty funny. Pretty smart, too. We’ve been talking a lot lately…she’s a good kid.”

435



My eyes widened as a puzzle piece locked into place. “That’s who Jenny saw you talking to all the time when she was visiting Evan? Your sister, right?”

Bunching his brows at me, he shook his head. “Jenny? In Texas?” He looked away, puzzled, then looked back, an answer in his eyes. “Is that why you thought I was cheating on you? Because Jenny saw me laughing on the phone with someone else?”

I bit my lip and nodded. Pointing to his jacket on the hooks by the front door, I frowned. “Plus all of the mysterious texts you wouldn’t let me see. You have to admit that was kind of suspicious.” Hurt at how he’d tried to shut me out of his life crept into my voice, and sighing, Kellan cupped my cheeks. “I’m sorry…I never meant for any of this to hurt you. I just wasn’t ready…” He hung his head and swallowed. “I wanted to tell you, so many times…but I could never make myself say the words.”

Looking back up at me, he shrugged. “It was like, if I told you…it was real…and I wanted to pretend that it wasn’t.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I just wanted to ignore it…ignore him…” His voice hardening, it started to warble with emotion. “But Hailey gave him my number, and he texts me every day…every Goddamn day…” Opening his eyes, he dropped my cheeks and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Every day he sends me messages, and every day I ignore him.” Sighing, he tilted his head up to the ceiling. “And I’m getting so tired of it all…I just want him to leave me alone.” Leveling his head, he exhaled wearily. “I even thought about changing my number, so he wouldn’t have it anymore, but…I wanted to still be able to talk to you. And I couldn’t exactly tell you why I wanted to change it, without telling you why I wanted to change it.” He shrugged.

“So I get painful texts everyday that I try to forget about.” Kellan sighed again and I saw the weariness in his expression. The torment was getting to him. I supposed I could understand why he’d want to hide from his dad. Why, out of spite or hatred, he’d never want to see him again, but I couldn’t believe he’d let the torture of his life chip away 436



at him like he had. As I stared at the weary man before me, I tried to picture the energetic man who’d begun this fateful tour. They were nearly two different people now.

He sniffed and scrubbed his eyes, clearly fighting against breaking down and I rubbed his shoulder. “This is killing you, Kellan, don’t you see that?”

He gave me a wry glance, like he thought I was overreacting, but he didn’t see the threadbare person that he’d become in just a matter of months. “No, it is. It’s eating at you…I can see it now. Have you talked with anyone about this? The guys? Evan? Have you been dealing with this alone…all this time?”

Slumping, he headed over to sit on the couch. “Who would I tell, Kiera? Everyone thinks my dad died with my mom.” Looking up at me, he shrugged. “You’re the only one I’ve ever been able to tell about my dad…not being my real dad.” He swallowed. “I just can’t get the words out around other people.” Tilting his head, he gave me sad eyes. “Just you…”