Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(149)

We both knew what we were capable of. Maybe we’d doomed ourselves from the very beginning. Maybe I’d done it. When Denny had come back from Tucson, I should have told him what had happened while he was away. It would have ended us, but we were already over. It would have been a clean break, an honest break. Maybe then, Kellan and I would have had a chance.

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Staring at my bedroom ceiling, sleep impossible, I clutched my cell phone, waiting for Kellan to call me and tell me that he didn’t mean it, that he hadn’t broken up with me. He didn’t call though, and I knew that he’d soon be rejoining his band tour…and I’d never see him again.

Biting my lip, I debated if I should break down and call him. What would I say? What could I say? I could only plead my innocence, but Kellan didn’t seem to believe me. He had for a brief moment, but then…

Whatever faith he’d had in me was gone now. And I really wasn’t sure why.

Running my hands back through my hair, I considered calling Anna and asking her to come home. She was staying at a friend’s house, finally feeling happy enough to rejoin her social circle. I didn’t really want to drag her back down with my depression. Maybe I could call Jenny?

Just as I was considering punching in her numbers, my phone chirped at me, telling me I’d just received a text message. Hoping against hope that Kellan was talking to me, I scanned the screen.

I sighed. It was from Denny, not Kellan. Biting my lip, I opened the message. ‘Just checking on you…everything okay?’

Not sure if anything would be okay again, I texted back, ‘No…Kellan broke up with me.’

At least, I think that’s what I wrote. I couldn’t see past the tears to be sure. By Denny’s answer, it must have been.

‘I’ll be there in five.’

I wanted to object, to tell him that he didn’t have to give up a night’s sleep for me, since he did have to go to work in a few hours. But I didn’t respond, because I really didn’t want to be alone.

Sniffling into my pillow, I waited for the hole in my heart to stop stabbing me with pain. I waited to not feel like my life was over. That’s all I felt, though…that everything was over. Every happiness I was ever going to have in my life, I’d already had. Every joy, I’d already felt. I thought of every time Kellan and I had been together. If I’d known that it 421



would end so abruptly, maybe I would have cherished each moment a little more.

But then I realized…I had. I’d always cataloged every second with him. Memorized every feature about him, every word he’d said, every placed he’d touched. I’d known. Some scared, insecure part of me had known we wouldn’t make it…so I’d savored him. My sobs started back up.

My bedroom door cracked open a while later and a soft sigh met my ear. I sat up on an elbow as Denny stood in my doorframe. In my grief, I must not have locked the front door after Kellan left. Then again, even if I’d been thinking straight, I don’t think I could have locked the door behind him. I could never shut Kellan out like that.

Denny looked tired as he watched me, his dark eyes sympathetic.

Smiling softly, he sat on the edge of my bed, the bed Kellan and I had made love in, not too long ago. “I’m so sorry, Kiera…I really am.” I nodded and threw my arms around Denny. He sighed into my hair as he rubbed my back. As I held him close, I waited to feel…something…for him. I didn’t, though. Even in my grief, even knowing Kellan and I were done, I felt nothing for him but an overwhelming desire for his friendship.

Relieved that I felt that way, I squeezed him tighter. “He’s gone, Denny. He said he was done. He said goodbye… and he meant it.” Denny sighed again, returning my firm hug. “Is this because of me…or because of what Kellan’s been hiding from you?” I blinked and pulled back to look at him. Denny shrugged. “Maybe he feels guilty for what he’s done. Maybe he wanted an out…and you gave him one?”

I sniffled and wiped my face off on a blanket. “I don’t know…he won’t talk to me.” Anger crept into me at the thought that maybe all of that argument had been more about Kellan’s guilt over his whore, and not about him catching Denny and I together.

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Tightening my jaw, I spat out, “He told me that he believed me about you and I only being friends. Then he had sex with me. Then he dumped me! Who does that?”

I flushed over explaining what had happened with Kellan so bluntly to Denny, but he only sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know, Kiera…I’m sorry.”

As Denny’s eyes flashed over my face, concerned, I saw the same friendship that I felt for him reflected back to me. That’s all there was between us on his side, too. Abby had his heart, and she would probably never do to him what Kellan had just done to me. And why did he do it?

If Kellan didn’t trust me, if he didn’t believe me, why didn’t he just break up with me? Why have sex with me first? One final romp? God, that…pissed me off.

Pushing back from Denny, I scrunched my brows. “Can you do me a huge favor?”

He nodded, his expression confused but eager to help. “Yeah, of course, anything.”

Unraveling myself from my blankets, I stood. “I need a ride, and Anna has the car.”