Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(148)

He was keeping secrets from me. How dare he get mad at me for not mentioning Denny, when he was outright lying to me! At least my secret hadn’t involved cheating. Kellan’s, I was sure, did.

Anger bursting to life in my chest, I shoved his body away from me.

“You son of a bitch! No, you don’t get to run away from me. You’re always trying to run away from me!” I shoved his chest again and he took a step back. “But not this time. This time…you will talk to me! We talk things out, remember?”

He batted my hands away and successfully grabbed the doorknob behind me. Twisting it, he managed to partly open it. With my shoulder, I body slammed the door closed. Glaring at me, he left his hand on the knob. “I’ve got nothing to say to you. Get out of my way!” Anger and hurt mixed in my heart, turning into tears in my eyes, clouding my vision. I sniffed them back, refusing to cry. “Nothing to say? After everything you’ve done to me?”

His eyes widened in disbelief. God, he was such a good actor. “Me?

What I’ve done to you?” His face hardening back up, he stepped into my body. “You’re f*cking your ex and I’m the bad guy? Is that how you want to play this, Kiera?”

I shoved him away from me, hard. His hand dislodged from the doorknob and I moved to stand in front of it. My own hands clenched in-to fists now, I shook my head. “I…am…not…sleeping with Denny! And yes, you—”

Just as I was about to accuse him of everything I feared, he reached down and pulled me away from the door. Arms looped around my waist, he twisted his body and plopped me down on the other side of him. Once free of me, he opened the door again.

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Seeing that he really was going to leave, I grabbed his arm with both of mine and tugged with everything I had. His head snapped back to mine, his eyes enraged. “Let me go, Kiera. I’m done. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Feeling those tears heavier than before, moments from falling, I snapped, “You weren’t done with me ten minutes ago, when you were screwing my brains out!”

A moment of pain flashed over his face and his own eyes moistened.

“That…was a mistake.”

I swallowed repeatedly, not believing this was really happening. “You said you believed me,” I whispered.

Sniffing, he shook his head. “And you said you wouldn’t lie to me.

Goodbye, Kiera.”

I was so startled at hearing him say those words, I dropped his arm.

The tears I couldn’t hold back anymore splashing on my cheeks, I whispered, “You said there weren’t any goodbyes between us…” Closing his eyes, he dropped his head. When he lifted it back up, a tear rolled down his cheek. “I said a lot of things that weren’t true…” Ice twisting my stomach, making my breathing shallow, I heard myself ask a question that I hadn’t given my body permission to ask. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Tilting his head, his glistening eyes searched over my face. Another tear rolled down his skin and I wanted to wipe it away. I wanted to hold his head to me and tell him that he didn’t have to be angry, that nothing had happened with Denny, that I’d been faithful to him…that I loved him, more than anything. I couldn’t though. I couldn’t move.

His eyes drifted down my body then snapped back up to mine. He inhaled deep, then whispered, “Yes, I am.”

I heard the sob escape me, even though I hadn’t given myself permission for that either. Kellan immediately turned from my grief and 418



disappeared through the front door. As wracking sobs went through me, I stood, frozen in place. Then I heard the roar of his car starting in the distance and sunk to my knees, burying my face in my hands.

That didn’t just happen, did it? He didn’t just come home unexpectedly, make love to me, then dump me…did he? As the sound of his car got fainter and fainter, the sounds of my tears got louder and louder. Oh God…yes, that did just happen.

I’d lost him…I’d finally lost him.

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23





Chapter


Nothing to Lose


I’m not sure how long I stayed on that floor, contemplating the drastic shift my life had taken. Before this tour had started, I’d been so sure that Kellan and I were soul mates, destined to be together forever. While I’d had fears that he’d finally wake up and realize that he could do so much better than me, I’d also clung to the belief that he’d never stray because I was the first person he’d let into his heart. I’d believed that that had sealed us, cemented us together. But maybe, all it had done was branded his body. Maybe my name tattooed across his chest was enough, a symbolic representation of how I’d opened him, freed him to love himself…and others.

And now, now that we were over, I was sure he would love again. I was sure that he’d get back on the road, banging groupies left and right until he got over his heartbreak, and then he’d find her. She’d be sweet, maybe shy, and she’d have complete faith in him. Because their relationship wouldn’t have started like ours did.

We’d started out with a betrayal. We’d both watched each other lie to a loved one. We’d both watched each other sleep with other people, all the while being in love with one another. Desperately in love. Watching that sort of betrayal, being a part of it…it soured you.