Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(143)

Once in the office, we waited some more. Anna stared, horrified, at a diagram posted on the wall of a baby inside a womb. “Oh my God, Kiera, look at the size of it!” She looked back at me, her beautiful eyes as wide as they could go. “How the hell is that head supposed to come out of this hole?”

She pointed down at herself and I shushed her for her very loud comment. “I don’t know, Anna, but women do it every day so it must work…somehow.”

Closing her eyes, she leaned against my shoulder. “Yeah, and it’s going to hurt like f*cking hell.”

Bumping her shoulder with mine, I twisted my lips. “Do you think you could tone down the language, you are holding an impressionable embryo after all.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “It can’t hear me, it doesn’t have ears yet.” Her eyes widened a bit. “Or does it?” Looking down at her stomach, she murmured, “Sorry kid…Mommy’s got a potty mouth.” I bit back my grin, amused that she’d referenced herself as a mom.

She’d never done that before. I wisely didn’t comment on it, though.

Anna was in a fragile enough state right now.

I hopped off the table when the doctor came in and Anna immediately grabbed my hand, forcing me to stand next to her. We went through dozens of questions with her and then she brought out a machine that looked like it was used in some torture chamber…or sex shop. Anna eyed the female doctor curiously. “Uh, where does that go?” The doctor held up a phallic-shaped wand connected to a portable computer. “You’re too early for a traditional ultrasound, so we’ll have to take an internal one.” She smiled as she warmed up the machine. “Ready to see your baby’s heartbeat?”

Anna sat up on her elbows, the paper lining beneath her rustling.

“You can see that already?”

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The doctor nodded and, curious, Anna let her do whatever she wanted with the odd machine. Moments later, my sister saw her first glimpse at her child. Surrounded in a sea of black, a tiny gray speck blinked at us repeatedly, like it was saying hello in Morse code. Anna’s jaw dropped.

“Is that…?”

The doctor nodded, pointing at the speck we could clearly see. “Yep, that’s the heart, strong and steady…perfectly normal.” My eyes teared up watching it and Anna squeezed my hand. When I looked down at her she had one hand on her stomach and tears in her own eyes. “Oh my God, Kiera…” She looked back at me, wide-eyed.

“There’s something alive in me!”

I chuckled at her response and gave her a quick hug. “Yeah, I know, Anna.” Leaning down, I kissed her head. “And it’s going to be beautiful, just like its Mom.”

She laughed and a tear rolled down her cheek. I think it was the first happy tear I’d seen from Anna lately, and seeing it, gave me hope.

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22





Chapter


Don’t Lie


Anna perked up even more after her doctor’s appointment. I spotted her looking at baby clothes when I took her shopping one afternoon, and eyeing infants in strollers as we passed them by. I even found a “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book in the kitchen. Of course, I’d found it in the freezer, so I figured something in there had freaked Anna out.

She used to hide scary books when we were kids. When I was nine, I’d found Stephen King’s “It” in my sock drawer.

She wasn’t quite at the acceptance level yet, but cruising into her ninth week, she was getting there. And only I knew about it. I had a feeling she’d hold off as long as she could on telling people. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’d decide to tell our parents by showing up at their doorstep Christmas morning, baby in tow. Assuming she kept it, of course.

I didn’t like to think about the possibility that she wouldn’t, but thinking about her dilemma, helped detract my head from mine. Conversations with Kellan lately had been quiet. Ever since Jenny had confessed that he was actively engaging someone else on the phone, I didn’t know what to think. Sure, he could be talking with just about anybody, from someone at the record label to a friend back in Seattle, but my heart told me that that wasn’t it. My heart told me it was a girl.

But he didn’t act like he loved me any less when he talked to me. He didn’t act cold or distant. He acted like he was completely in love with me still. Wishing he could be with me, he huskily told me how much he loved me. We’d even made love again, over the phone. It wasn’t the same as being with him, but it did help to keep me feeling close, even if I wasn’t sure if we were.

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And, needless to say, I hadn’t told him about Denny. It seemed almost pointless now, since Denny had been back for so long. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen when Kellan’s tour ended and he went to L.A. to work on his album, but I was sure about what was going to happen with Denny and me.

Nothing…nothing was going to happen.

Even if Kellan and I broke up today, and God, I hoped not, nothing would happen between Denny and I. The feeling just wasn’t there anymore. Nothing more than friendship and fond memories remained. Even Denny’s lingering bitterness over our breakup had dwindled.

We were just…comfortable again.

So when he came into Pete’s one Wednesday evening, looking to be on the edge of tears, I was naturally concerned for my friend. Ignoring my waitressing duties for a moment, I sat beside him at a table. Handing him a beer, I quietly asked, “You okay?”