Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(140)
I cringed, swallowing back more tears. I really didn’t want to break down in front of Kate and Rachel. I didn’t want to discuss this with a table of people. Really, I wanted to push it back to the far corner of my brain where I never thought about it…that would be wonderful.
Trying to cheer me up, Jenny spunkily said, “Besides, I only ever saw him on his phone, talking to you. Would he talk to you so much if he were cheating on you?”
All of the color drained from my face. “He was on the phone? A lot?” Bunching her brows, she nodded. “Yeah…with you…right?” I slowly shook my head. My sister had been such a mess the week that Jenny and Rachel were gone, that I’d barely had time to answer my phone, let alone talk to Kellan. In fact, the only times I had talked to him were really late at night, after Anna had finally passed out from exhaustion. Jenny would have surely been asleep as well during those conversations, so whoever she’d seen him talking to…it hadn’t been me.
Clutching her arm, I leaned forward intently. “What was he saying on the phone? Did he sound…happy, in love?”
My voice broke on the word and Jenny’s pale eyes glassed over. Shaking her head, she murmured, “I thought he was talking to you…” 393
Near hysterics in my voice, I tugged on her arm. “What did he say?” She swallowed, shaking her head. “I don’t…I wasn’t paying attention, but…he…” She swallowed again, her eyes nearly to the brim now with sympathetic tears. “He was laughing…he seemed…happy.” Feeling like I was going to start hyperventilating, I stood up. Jenny started to stand with me, but I held my hand up. “I just…need a minute.”
I quickly dashed to the bathroom, hoping Jenny and the others would let me fall apart alone. She’d practically confirmed my greatest fear. Kellan was involved with someone else, someone who made him laugh.
And I bet she was gorgeous, too…
My hand was over my mouth and I was holding in the sobs as I sank against the cool, tile wall. Letting myself slide down it, I sat on the floor and dropped my head into my hands. How could he do this to me? Was it payback, for all the times I’d hurt him? Was it the universe getting even with me, for being so awful to Denny? Or was Kellan really just the sex addict that Candy had made him out to be, and this was an inevitability?
Maybe Kellan had found that going months without physically being with a woman was impossible, and he’d caved. It happened all the time, so I don’t know why it surprised me. Maybe because I’d expected more from Kellan. Maybe I’d expected too much.
Sobbing uncontrollably now, I let every doubt in my body leech out through my tears.
“Kiera? You okay?”
I glanced up to see a blonde in the doorway staring down at me. It wasn’t the blonde I’d been expecting, though. It wasn’t Jenny…it was my friend from school, Cheyenne. Wiping my eyes, I quickly muttered, “It’s nothing,” and started to stand.
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She came up to me and helped me up. “You sure? You look devastated.” Her eyes widened. “Did something bad happen? Is everything okay?”
Feeling a little strange, since Cheyenne and I mainly had an academic relationship, I shrugged and again said, “It’s nothing, I’m fine.” Squaring my shoulders, she looked me in the eye. “It’s not fine and you’re not okay.” Softening her face, she said, “I know we haven’t known each other all that long, Kiera, but you can talk to me.” Smiling at her gesture, eased by the warmth in her mild accent, I leaned back into the wall and swiped my eyes dry. “It’s just…Kellan. I think he’s seeing someone else.” My gut felt torn in half, just admitting it to someone.
Cheyenne’s arms immediately wrapped around me. “Oh God, Kiera, I’m so sorry.” She pulled back to look at me, her face warm and open. “I know you really liked him, are you sure?”
I shrugged, sighing. “No, I’m not sure of anything right now…except men suck.” I sniffled and smiled a bit, but Cheyenne twisted her lip at me.
Stepping back, she threaded her fingers through her hair. She almost seemed nervous and I cocked an eyebrow at her. Swallowing, she looked around the empty bathroom. “Okay, I know I’m going to sound like an idiot, but, I think you’re really great and smart and funny, and I know you like guys, but I was wondering if…”
My eyes widened as I listened to her. Was she saying she…dug me?
Was I not so far off in thinking that she liked me? Wondering how to let someone down easy, since I had zero experience in that, I took a step forward. “Oh, um, Cheyenne, I think you’re great, too, and I like you—” She visibly brightened and I stammered for a way to change what I’d been about to say. “No, I mean I like you, like you…not…like you, like you…like you…”
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Yeah, even I was lost by my explanation, but Cheyenne didn’t seem to care anymore. I’d said I liked her, and that seemed to be enough. Smiling ear-to-ear, she exclaimed, “Oh, I like you too!” Then she grabbed my face.
I didn’t even know how to react. There is just no course on what to do or say in this situation, at least, none I’d ever taken…but maybe I should.
She brought her lips down to mine, pressing us firmly together before softly moving against me. I had just enough time to think, huh, that’s different, before I pushed her shoulders back. Her eyes were wide as she stared at me. I thought she looked mortified at herself, and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. Being rejected was no easy thing.