Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(141)

Stammering, she stepped back from me. “Sorry, oh God, I’m sorry. I thought you…I’m sorry.”

Sighing that I was misleading to even my own sex, I shook my head.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think…” Exhaling, I switched to blunt honesty. “I’m not attracted to girls, Cheyenne. No offense or anything, but I like men…even philandering ones.” I sighed sadly as she flushed bright red. “Of course, I knew that…I really did. You have a boyfriend and you love him. I was just…caught up in the moment, and I’ve really liked you for a while and…” She closed her eyes and dropped her head back. “God, I’m an idiot.” Chuckling at how similar to me she actually was, I shook my head.

“No, you’re not, and it’s fine, Cheyenne…really.” Groaning, she looked back down at me. “So, do you never want to see me again?”

I blinked, tilting my head. “Why would you think that?” She flung her hands at where our moment had just happened.

“Because I totally took advantage of you.” She gave me a sad smile.

“Because I like you.”

396



I looked down, shaking my head again. “Of course, I still want to see you,” I looked up, “as a friend and schoolmate, but that’s all we’ll ever be…I’m sorry.”

Her eyes watered but she smiled. “I know. I’ve always known it wouldn’t happen. I guess I just…hoped.”

I nodded at her, not knowing what else to say. Maybe having had enough embarrassment for one day, she grabbed the door handle. “Well, I should go.” She pulled open the door, then raised an eyebrow at me.

“We’re still studying next week…right?”

Containing a sigh, I smiled. “Sure, yeah.” I knew from now on I’d have to be more careful around the girl. I didn’t want to hurt her in any way.

But, you can’t help who you fall for. I knew that from experience.

As she walked away, I considered one good thing from the en-counter—she’d stunned me out of my moment of agony, that was for sure. And I could now cross “being kissed by a girl” off my bucket list.

I was still stunned when I got home after my shift at the bar. I hadn’t mentioned the kiss to the girls at the table, and really, when I’d returned all they’d cared to know about was why I’d left. Jenny hadn’t told them about our conversation and I thanked her for that later.

I was wondering if Cheyenne was going to be a problem at school now, a new one to replace Candy, since her path had finally deviated from mine. In fact, last I heard, Candy had went and gotten herself pregnant. Seemed to be going around these days.

That thought that was reaffirmed to me when I opened my bedroom door and found a pregnant girl sitting on my bed. Surprised that Anna was still up at this hour, when she’d started going to bed pretty early lately, I sat beside her.

Face sad but serene, she looked over at me. “I’ve decided.”

“And?” I held my breath, waiting for her answer.

397



She looked over my face for long seconds that felt like years. Lifting one corner of her lip, she finally said, “I don’t know if I’m going to keep this baby or not…but I won’t kill it.” She shrugged, looking down at her hands in her lap. “I can’t,” she whispered, her palm moving to rest on her abdomen.

My eyes watering, I threw my arms around her. “I’m so glad, Anna.” She nodded as she held me back, and I stroked her hair soothingly, like mom used to do when we were little and frightened. “It will be okay, Anna. I’m here. I’ll help you with everything.” She smiled at me when we pulled apart. “I made an appointment with the doctor for next week. Could you go with me?” Nodding, I pulled her in tight again. “Of course, or course I’ll go with you.” Pulling back again, I raised my eyebrows. “Can I tell people? Kellan? Jenny?”

Anna immediately shook her head. “No, not yet.” I frowned at her and she sighed, slumping. “Look, I don’t know if I want to raise a baby, Kiera, and I don’t want a million people giving me their opinion right now.” She looked up at me, her bright jade eyes determined. “I want this to be my choice, and I want to make it, before the world condemns me for it.”

Sighing, I stroked her hair. “Yeah, okay…I won’t say anything.” She was silent a moment and I added, “Don’t you think Griffin should know? Shouldn’t he have a say?”

She stared at her hands, not able to look at me. “I know you won’t approve of this, Kiera, but if I decide to give it up for adoption…” she looked back up at me, “Griffin will never know that he was the father.

I’ll never admit to it, and I’ll deny it if anyone says otherwise.” Seeing the firm decision already in her eyes, I shook my head. “Why, Anna? Why wouldn’t you want him to know?”

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Looking away from me, she shrugged. “It’s just the way it has to be, Kiera.” Looking back up, she shrugged. “If I do keep it…I’ll tell him, okay?”

I nodded, hoping I could talk her out of this one. My feelings about Griffin aside, he had a right to know he had a son or daughter in the world. I wasn’t sure what he’d do with the information, but I felt like he should have it.