Don't Let Me Fall(61)

thought about how peaceful it looks. Snow makes things look nice for awhile. Then there’s the mess and everything looks like shit.

“Rebeckah.”

I blinked and glanced at Logan. He held my eyes for a bit then stepped into the house and hugged me. I felt weird just standing there so I wrapped my arms around him.

“Do you need a ride to the hospital?” he asked, his lips brushing against my neck. That one move sent my heart racing and my skin heating up like I’m on fire.

I pulled out of his grasp because the feelings are too much to handle. “No, thanks. I have to go to work soon so I’ll pass by later.” My brother still hates me so I’ll give him

time without me. I don’t want to make him snap again.

“You’re going to work?” Aimee asked, brows furrowing. “Becka, you don’t have to. I’m sure your boss will understand.”

I don’t have to. I want to.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll talk to him later,” I said, thinking of a way to get them to leave. “I have to get dressed. Thanks for coming.” I basically pushed Logan outside after he handed

me my phone. Both twins looked confused by my attitude and I can’t blame them. Mom’s dead and I’m going to work. “When are you leaving?” I asked Victor.

“When you go to work.”

I nodded and headed upstairs. At least he’s not asking questions and telling me I don’t have to work because my mom died. He knows I’m screwed up. He also knows I don’t care.



***

“Ohmygod, I’ve been calling you all night,” Toby said pulling me into the back where Peyton was walking by with a tray of glasses in his hands. “How is Kelsey?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see her yet. My family is kind of upset with me for not showing emotion over my mom,” I said numbly.

Toby nodded and sat down with me at a nearby table used for stacking mail. “They’ll understand,” he said rubbing my hand. And this is why I came to work. I knew he’d be here and

understand. “It’s on the news,” he said, speaking to me like I might freak. “So people at school might talk about it.”

Awesome.

I’ve been avoiding the TV since I got home from the hospital yesterday. I know car accidents end up on the news and I know that if there was a death involved, it gets more

attention. We know Mom’s gone. Next of kin was informed so the news stations have the identity to reveal to the people who don’t care that some unknown person died while driving

to Cambridge. Those people are just grateful it wasn’t someone they know.

“Becka, you didn’t have to come in,” Peyton said stopping near me and kneeling down. “Toby said your sister is in the hospital. Why don’t you head over there and leave the tips

for me?”

I smiled as I stood up.

“Sorry, I’m a bitch,” I said heading out to the bar.

I can do this. I’ll work for a few hours then I’ll see Kelsey. Then I’ll head home and man up to the attitude I’m getting from Matty.

***

I have Kelsey’s favorite snacks stuffed in my bag. I also picked up her new phone because the other one got damaged in the accident. When I walked into the room, she was sitting up

in bed, staring at the portable table, swirling jell-o around in the plastic cup. Her dark eyes looked up at me and she gave me a sad smile.

“I brought food,” I said shaking my purse.

I walked over to her bed and she pulled me into a one arm hug. “I don’t want food. I want Mom,” she cried into my shoulder. I stiffened at that but I didn’t say anything. I’m

trying to be her big sister because I’m failing miserably at that at the moment.



***

I left the hospital around ten. When I headed home, Dad was in the kitchen with his head hung over the kitchen counter and Matty was nowhere to be found. That was until I walked up

to his room and found him lying in bed, listening to music. I tapped his shoulder and I literally saw him blink a few times but he ignored me. I turned off his lamp and said

goodnight. He didn’t call out anything for me.

Dad walked into his room when I came out of the bathroom so I walked over to him. “Hey, Birdie,” he said softly. He sat on his bed and plugged his phone into the charger then

waved me over. I sat down beside him and I let him hold me. “He’s having a hard time accepting it. Don’t take it personally.”

“Too late,” I whispered, trying to hold back the tears.

Dad squeezed me tighter and kissed the top of my head. “I know you and your mother have been at it for years so I don’t want to push you into feeling things you don’t want to

feel right now but I want you to know that some day, you will feel it and you have to let it out. Scream it out. Kick something. Punch something. Just do something, okay. Don’t

keep it bottled up inside.” I nodded. I can do that. “So, what was Victor doing in your bed this morning?”

“Rough night,” I said softly. “I don’t want to say anything but the thoughts were back and if I was alone, I think I might have acted on it.”

Dad stared at me for a bit when I found his eyes. I hate seeing that look when I tell him. It’s not disgust or pity or anything like that. It’s a father’s look when he knows he