Don't Let Me Fall(60)

bother with their name. God knows they won’t remember yours in the morning. You’re worthless,” Melissa shouted as she was dragged into the hallway. Dolton took her when the

officer passed her over. They’re someone else’s problem now.

I curled my knees into my chest and cried harder.

I’m worthless. And useless.

I lost my best friend.

And now my sister is sick.

The female officer walked back into the room and stayed with me for a bit until it was time to get the rape kit done. I think the nurse who had to take pictures was afraid of me.

All the tattoos. A dead best friend. Two people who got away.

Do they think I was involved?

“Are you up for the sketches?” the female officer, Lindsey Vought, asked when I was washed and dressed in baggy clothes again.

I nodded.

“Will they find them?” I asked. “From the sketches? Will they help?” I don’t want those guys loose on the street after what they just did.

“We’ve got the best guy for this. He’s never had anyone slip from our fingers,” Officer Vought said. “Just take your time and tell him what to draw.”



My wrist was being squeezed tight. And it hurts. My eyes jerked open to find Victor leaning into me, holding my hands apart. My right hand fingers have blood on them.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked glancing at me. “You kicked me then started clawing your wrist.”

I sat up in bed and stared at my limp hands in Victor’s.

My wrist is bleeding again.

Great.

“It happens,” I said letting my hands fall onto my lap.

“It happens?” Victor asked running a hand through his hair. “Why don’t you do something then? Wrap it up. Cut your nails. Cut off your fingers.” He smiled at that one and it

eased the awkwardness. “Why does it happen?”

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “The nightmares.” I looked down at my fingers. At the blood. “Did Jon and Adam tell you about Seattle?”

“I was over when they found out.”

I looked up at him.

“Those two have nothing better to do because college didn’t appeal to them,” he said. “So when they found dirt on you, I just had to know.”

I rolled my eyes when he started talking about Jon getting all puppy-dog eyed when he read the story and both Victor and Adam had to tie him to the bed so he wouldn’t run over here

and see if I was fine.

“I see it play out,” I said when he was done with the Jon thing. “That night. Once I fall asleep, it just happens and doesn’t stop unless I wake up.” My breath caught and I

looked around the room. It’s only nine in the morning. I’m guessing my family is still with Kelsey.

“And it never stops?” Victor asked.

“I never get to the end. Jacky thinks that will stop it.”

“What happens at the end?”

I dropped my eyes then got out of bed. I will not talk about it. I will never talk about it. I don’t care if the nightmares stop if I bring that shit up.

“Hey, Becka, I’m sorry,” Victor said jumping out of bed and following me towards the bathroom.

“It’s not your fault,” I said slipping into the one place I tried to end it all and failed.

“Will you be…um…you can leave the door open.”

My jaw dropped.

“Excuse me? You will not watch me shower,” I said. I at least have some sense not to strip in front of people.

Victor rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to watch you. I’ll be around. Just leave the door open. You told me not to let you do anything alone.” His eyes brightened. “Should I

bring Logan over? Jon? Both will be happy to watch.”

“Go away,” I sighed.

He turned around and headed back into my room.

Just so he doesn’t think I off myself with the shower curtain or something, I left the door open a crack and slipped into the shower. Shaving was harder than I thought. So I wouldn

’t get any ideas, I thought about the pain I deserve to be in for everything that happened.

Killing myself is the coward’s way out.

I deserve to be looked at like a wild animal.

The doorbell rang when I was getting out of the shower so I assumed Victor would get it. He’s still here, might as well he be useful.

I got downstairs and found Logan and Aimee at the door. Both look equally frustrated and behind that is sorrow.

I gripped my towel tighter as I walked over to them. Victor didn’t move so Aimee stared at my shoulder so she wouldn’t have to look at him and Logan glanced back and forth between

me and Victor.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” I said getting it out there so he could stop trying to figure it out.

“Yes, we did,” Victor said like I was an idiot for forgetting. I slapped his arm as I gave him a look. “Relax, we just slept. She didn’t want to be alone since her family is at

the hospital. Better?” Much.

“We heard about your mom,” Aimee said. “I’m sorry. We…” I zoned out as she said more. I really don’t want to hear about my mom. My eyes stayed on the snow outside and I