Don't Let Me Fall(30)

body to pull this off.

My eyes found his again.

“I have more than what people see,” I said.

His eyes seemed to glow bluer as he smiled.

“Are you going to show me or do I have to look for myself?” he asked. I wanted to roll my eyes and tell him to do whatever the f-uck he wants but when his eyes held mine longer

than they should have, I smiled. And blushed.

What the f-uck is wrong with me?

I seriously think I’m bipolar. That’s the only thing that makes sense but the doctors already told me that isn’t it.

I’m just a big f-ucking mystery.

A really f*cked up mystery.

I pulled my sweater and shirt off and fell back onto the bed as Logan’s eyes took me in. I wanted to crawl under a blanket because of the way his eyes are lingering on all the

tattoos, all the perfect lines, the colors, the shapes.

His finger trailed down my body slowly until he pulled my jeans lower, revealing my hip. His eyes met mine, full of lust as he licked his lips.

“Please tell me that means exactly what I think it means,” Logan breathed. I nodded. I wouldn’t get harder for any other reason. “God, you are so f-ucking beautiful.”

That’s a first.

Beautiful.

Everyone always says sexy then gets to the action.

Logan leaned into me and his mouth found mine again as he unbuttoned my jeans. I have a feeling he’s going really slow because he wants to know I want this. Or maybe he’s giving

me time to not think bad thoughts and instead break down every detail of what he’s doing to me.

Like nibbling on my bottom lip as he moves his way to my neck. The soft sucking on my skin. His fingers brushing against my body as he slides my jeans off. The way he feels pressed

against me when he pushed himself in-between my legs.

He still has his jeans on but at any moment, he’s going to burst through them. I don’t know why he’s taking so long. Why doesn’t he get naked already?

Why do I care?

His fingers crawled around my body to unclasp my bra. They’re warm and soft. Electrifying. He’s making chills run down my spine as his fingers keep touching me. Moving down my

body. To my thighs. Going in. Deeper.

I didn’t make it to this point with Jonathon. By now I should be pushing Logan off me and getting dressed. I should be running out of his dorm and hopping onto the train to head

home.

But I’m not.

And he doesn’t hurry the f-uck up.

I pulled him closer and unbuttoned his jeans.

God, get out of these already!

My breathing started turning into pants as he pressed into me. I feel him. He’s right there. He just has to push himself in and I’ll be fine. I’m not stopping. He can go.

“Their names will haunt you until the day you die, Rebeckah. You just wanted sex. She’s dead because you were being a whore. Here’s a tip. Next time you have sex, don’t even

bother with their name. God knows they won’t remember yours in the morning. You’re worthless.”

My eyes shot open and I pushed Logan back.

f-uck, this isn’t good. I’m going to cry. I’m going to break.

“I…I’m sorry,” I said getting off the bed and grabbing my clothes.

“Rebeckah, wait.”

I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Both Logan and Darren can’t get in now. I threw my clothes on in the dark and sank onto the floor as I let everything out.

I am a whore.

I’m worthless.

No one will remember me.

It was my fault.

It should have been me.

I cried even harder as I curled myself into a ball.

I’m sick of this. Why did I live? Why wasn’t it me?

Alice didn’t deserve that! She was just having fun. We both were.

Someone was knocking on the door and trying to open it but it didn’t work. They can’t get in.

Then it got really quiet.

I stopped crying and looked around the dark room. I can’t see a thing. Where’s the light switch? No. Maybe I shouldn’t turn on the light. This is a men’s bathroom. There will be

sharp objects. There will be razors.

I’m better off in the dark.

The door handle turned. And turned.

“Uh…I have to piss,” Darren said behind the door. “Can you hurry it up? Who’s in there? Rebeckah? Oh, are you trying to sneak into my room? Door is always open.” I wiped my

eyes and got on all fours as I felt for a wall. “Well not right now. It’s locked but you’re always welcome.”

I found a wall and searched for a light switch as I stood up. When the light was turned on, I unlocked the doors and both of them swung open. Darren glanced at Logan as Logan stared

at me.

“Ah, come on,” Darren said. “You two…”

Logan is only in jeans and my sweater is on backwards so if someone puts the two together it looks the way it does. Too bad nothing happened. It almost did.

“Shit, did he hurt you?” Darren asked me with wide eyes. “Did you say no? Dude, if she–”

“Shut up,” Logan said waving a hand at him. “Can we talk?” he asked me. “Outside of the bathroom.”

I really don’t want to but I can’t really take Darren’s room. I walked out into Logan’s room and he shut the bathroom door.