Don't Let Me Fall(34)



He tastes good too. I can stare and lick him all day and I’ll be happy. I won’t have any thoughts…well except for what we can do when clothes come off.

“I have to go downstairs,” I sighed. “You’re taking too long.” He popped his head out from behind the curtain again but I pushed him back in and told him to hurry up. I grabbed

my things and headed out.

Jacky will be here any minute and I don’t want to keep her waiting. I headed outside, waiting on a concrete block surrounding the building. I like how I can hide behind my sweater.

It’s cold out so I don’t look like an idiot. Not like I care though. People just walk by. They don’t stare. They don’t know.

A warm body slid onto the concrete block I’m on and got my attention. He smells f-ucking yummy. I looked to my right and bit my lip to stop myself from smiling. He got down here

pretty quickly. I guess not knowing if I threw myself down the stairs was bothering him.

“Surprised to see I’m still alive?” I asked softly.

Logan didn’t comment on that. Instead, he slipped his fingers through mine and kept my hand warm.

“You’re going to miss class,” I said staring at our hands. It’s weird. I wanted to punch this guy and basically kill him but now I’m holding his hand and having sex with him. I

’m still confused on how that happened.

“I don’t think you understand that I’m a stalker,” Logan said. “My job is to keep an eye on you at all times. Even if that means being late for class.” I would have believed

that was true if he didn’t break into a smile.

A car pulled up and I saw Jacky getting out of the car with a purse stuffed with clothes. Jesus, am I going away for a month? This chick always goes overboard. “You have to come

home tonight,” she said walking over to me. “Kelsey has news.” Her eyes flicked to Logan and she stopped. “Logan,” she said, her eyes dropping to our hands.

My brows furrowed as I glanced at Logan then Jacky.

“You know him?” I asked. There was a long pause as Jacky glanced between us. “Jacky?”

“Hm, right. Matty told me about him. Blue eyes. Tall. Looks like that,” she said waving her hand around Logan’s body.

I nodded. That makes sense. Seeing as how Jacky never met Logan, I wouldn’t have understood how she knew him.

Damn.

Then it dawned on me. Logan is right here. Holding my hand. In front of Jacky.

“Uh…this is my sister Jacqueline,” I said, awkwardly. “Jacky, Logan.” They said hi and Jacky stood there, staring at him like she wanted to attack him. Not sexually but

physically. “So…” I said. “Thanks for the clothes.”

Jacky took her eyes off Logan and glanced at me.

“Yeah. No problem,” she said pulling me into a hug. “Come home before work.”

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. You know how Kels gets.”

I don’t know what it is but something is off about her. I think it’s her voice or the way she’s hugging me but I can’t place it.

“Okay,” I said pulling away from her.

She walked over to her car and gave me a weird smile.

When she drove away, I dug around in the purse and saw what clothes she brought me. “Alright, I have to go,” I said looking up at Logan. I stopped moving when I saw the look on

his face. He looks like he saw a ghost. “Something wrong?”

“Hm…no,” Logan said standing up. “Cold. That’s it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

I looked around for some random girl that he might have seen but there wasn’t anyone. Okay…

We headed to our classes and when my first one was over, I headed to the bathroom and changed into clean clothes. Aimee was all smiles and I-told-you-so was written all over her

face. She got what she wanted.

I slept with her brother.



- 8 -



It took four hours thirty-nine minutes and sixteen seconds for my world to crash and burn again. I’m in my writing class and staring at my bright laptop screen made me think about

things.

I am so screwed up in the head that the moment my eyes landed on Logan and we talked last night, my mind decided that I won’t kill myself. You’d think that’s okay because I’m

not thinking of jumping off buildings or throwing myself off the train tracks. But it’s f*cked up. Because I’m f*cked up.

My mind is using him.

He is the first person that isn’t a Lennox that knows about my problem. And we had sex.

See the problem?

I’m not thinking of killing myself because of a guy.

God, I am so f*cked.

I can’t do that to him. Or anyone. No one should have to be used as my crutch so I can live. I should want to live.

I opened up a new word document and stared at the blinking cursor. What do you want to do, Rebeckah? I thought. My fingers ran over the keys and when I looked up at the screen, my

body deflated.

I want to

I can’t even answer that f-ucking question.

I wish life was easy. I wish my life was easy.

I packed my things away and slipped out of class. I can’t do this right now. I need to see my family. I’ll catch up on what I need to do later. First, I need to head home and see

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