Don't Let Me Fall(29)

“It’s not what it looks like,” Logan said scratching the back of his head.

I curled my legs into my chest and dropped my head on my knees, staring out at the window again.

“Kevin do something?” Darren asked.

When Logan didn’t answer, I realized he was talking to me. I don’t want to talk about Kevin. I wrapped my arms around my legs even tighter and closed my eyes. The shaking is back.

The thoughts are back. Shit.

“So...” Darren said climbing on the bed. “You never texted me.” Stop talking. Stop talking. “I could have died because you’re a bad nurse.”

“Darren,” Logan warned.

“Logan is no fun,” Darren said touching my knee. “Come over to my room. I have alcohol. I promise not to do anything.”

I laughed and turned my head to look at him. He was exactly how I pictured; holding his chest in mock hurt.

“What kind of alcohol?” I asked.

“Just bring it in here,” Logan said leaning back in his chair. “I don’t trust you with her.” Am I for sale? Rent? Did I magically turn into a dog and Logan became my owner?

Darren looked at me. “I wouldn’t trust myself either,” he said winking. I rolled my eyes and Darren got off the bed.

“I’m not sleeping with him,” I said once Darren left.

“Didn’t think you would,” Logan said.

“I’m not sleeping with you either.”

Logan didn’t say anything so I glanced at him. The prick is smirking at me. And his eyes are challenging me.

“I’m not,” I clarified.

He just nodded and closed his laptop.

Darren walked back in and handed me a bottle of vodka as he and Logan drank beer. These two drink like there’s no tomorrow but they don’t get drunk. It’s actually refreshing not

to be around drunk horny college guys.

I stopped having bad thoughts.

I guess the alcohol numbed it away for now.

Aimee and Caleb crashed the party, bringing food and more drinks and then we just ended up crashing at Logan’s dorm watching Netflix movies.

Aimee and Caleb left to have more wild sex before Caleb heads back home which is twenty minutes away. He’s staying at an apartment with some college buddies of his. I have a

feeling it’s because Aimee lives here and she’s single. He’s taking advantage of the alone time.

Darren left a few minutes later, making it clear that he lives right next door if I get lonely. I couldn’t help but feel some joy at that. He’s a nice guy. I wish I wasn’t so

f*cked up because then I might have given him a chance.

“Can I ask you a question?” Logan asked sitting across the bed from me. We’re sharing a bag of chips and I don’t want to be near him so I chose the foot of the bed and he has

the top.

“You just did,” I said grabbing a chip.

“Why don’t you sleep with people when you know their name?” My eyes found his and I wanted to slap him. Why is he digging around the bush? Just f-ucking shake the bitch and ask

the shit you want to ask. I gave him a look and he raised an eyebrow at me.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” I asked. “Because if you do then we’ll do it.” I might freak out like the last time I tried to do that and then he’ll understand. God, I can

’t forget how Jonathon looked at me. Those green eyes were wide and terrified. He was some guy I went to high school with. I was lonely and suicidal so instead of trying to off

myself, I texted him. One of the worst mistakes of my life. I went over to his parents’ place and things started getting pretty hot until he slipped his fingers under my jeans. I

started to panic and left. I looked over my shoulder as I ran out of his room and he looked at me like I was an escaped wild animal.

“You said we wouldn’t because you know my name.”

No shit.

I licked my fingers, wiped them then sighed. After this, he’ll leave me alone. Guys are the same. They just want you for sex. And I’m a lonely girl. I use them for sex too.

I got on my knees, grabbed the bag of chips and tossed it onto his desk as I crawled my way up to him. He was about to say something when I crashed my lips against his.

I don’t want him to talk.

I don’t want him to look at me.

I don’t want him to want to have sex with me.

I thought Logan would rip my clothes off or get right to f-ucking but he didn’t. He held me tight against him as he sat up and moved us backwards. My back hit the bed slowly and

his mouth devoured mine.

That’s all we did.

We kissed like if we stopped, we’d run out of breath. Which doesn’t make any sense but right now it does.

Who knows how long we stayed like this until my fingers pulled at his shirt. It’s nice kissing him. It feels…I can’t describe it but my body likes it. I don’t know when the last

time I felt like this was from just kissing someone.

Logan pulled his shirt off and my eyes landed on his toned abs. f-uck, you can stare at them all day and never get bored. Then my eyes landed on a tiny black mark hiding under the

waistband of his boxer briefs. I pulled his jeans down a bit and the boxers went with it.

“You have a tattoo?” I asked fingering the small dragon with tiny blots of color around it. Some girls might laugh at this and call him feminine but I love tattoos. And he has the