Don't Let Me Fall(28)

only other people were drunks sitting at a bench fifty feet away.

“You bring all the crazy girls you know here?” I asked picking at a fry. I unwrapped my burger when I felt Logan staring at me. I looked up and sure enough, he was. “Please don’

t do that,” I said dropping my eyes to my lap.

“Do what?” he asked trying to find my eyes.

I picked at another fry and chewed on it for the longest time. Logan knows what he’s doing. He’s seeing me as his project. Picking at me to see where everything goes wrong.

“When did–”

“I’m not going to tell you,” I said cutting him off. I know he’s staring at me and waiting for me to look at him but I won’t. I can’t. I know what questions are coming. I don

’t want to answer them.

So I ate my burger…at the slowest pace possible.

Logan and I finished eating and when there was no more soda, Logan saw that as the time to talk again.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked.

Home.

Where everyone thinks I’m better.

Where I thought I was better.

Logan must know that I’m having a hard time deciding because he shifted in his seat and gave me his full attention.

“Aimee would probably let you crash at her dorm. She has an air mattress,” he said. “Or Kevin. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Who’s Kevin?” I asked with furrowed brows. Is he Aimee’s imaginary friend? I’ve witnessed her talking to herself sometimes so I wouldn’t put it past her. Just saying.

Logan’s brows furrowed. “The guy you’re having sex with.”

“Ohmygod,” I said throwing my hands up in the air. f-uck me. He just had to tell me his name. “Seriously. Aimee didn’t tell you that I didn’t want to know his name?”

“Oh, right,” Logan said. “Forgot. Sorry.”

I glanced at him and judging by the small smile on his lips, he’s not sorry for spilling that bit of information.

“So, did you make up your mind?” Logan asked starting the car. “Aimee’s?” His eyes flicked toward me. “Kevin’s?” I want to punch him. He’s rubbing it in my face. “Mine?”

What?

“Aimee will ask questions if you want to stay over her place. You’re not telling me anything so I think that goes for Aimee too. And she’s busy with Caleb...I don’t think you

want to witness that.”

“So they have a history?” I asked. I knew something was going on between them.

“They dated on and off up until she started dating Victor,” Logan said staring at the dashboard because he still hasn’t driven. “They’re giving it another shot.”

I really don’t want to do this but home isn’t the option right now because everyone will know something is wrong and since Aimee isn’t available, I can’t stay there. I know

Keller’s real name so we won’t be doing anything now and then there’s no one else. Maybe Peyton? No, he lives with his boyfriend in a one bedroom apartment nearby. There won’t

be any privacy. And I don’t even know the boyfriend. It’d be kind of awkward.

“Your place...” I said unsure.

“I have an air mattress,” he said, holding my eyes. “So you don’t have to make such a delighted face.” I glanced at him and he smiled. I rolled my eyes and turned away. This

f-ucking sucks. I suck.

I wish I was dead.

Stop thinking like that!

I bent over and slipped my hands into my hair and tugged. Why is this happening?! God, make it stop!

“Can you drive?” I snapped. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths but it’s not helping. Nothing is helping.

I feel myself giving up and I can’t stop it.

This never happened before.

I always calmed down and stopped the crazy shit.

I had control before.

The car started moving and the radio was turned on.

I don’t remember going up to Logan’s room or sitting on his bed, or staring out of the window, but here I am. It’s a good thing the windows don’t open more than five inches. I

can’t jump or anything.

Kelsey texted me a few times and I just told her I’m staying with Aimee. She was excited that I’m making a real friend. Sleepovers mean everything to a fourteen-year-old.

So what does staying at Logan’s mean?

Logan’s sitting at his desk, fifteen inches away from me so when I heard the toilet flush, my eyebrows furrowed.

“Roommate,” he said pointing at the bathroom door with a pen.

Right. Every dorm shares a bathroom with another person. It’s kind of nice. You have a small dorm room that no one can sneak into unless they come in from the bathroom.

Then the bathroom door opened...

...and Darren walked in.

He stopped short when his eyes landed on me then Logan. I didn’t know Darren is his roommate. Now I get why Aimee told me to go with him instead of Keller. Kevin. Whatever.

“Now this is a surprise,” Darren said leaning against the doorframe. “I was just coming in to see if you wanted to go out later and find some nice girls to bring back. Looks like

you already did.”