Losing Him (Mitchell Family #8)(16)

She wiped her eyes with a tissue. “I didn’t understand about Santa until I was older. She acted like it was Santa who had given us Christmas, but it was really her.”

Heather smiled again and looked down at Jacob. “Last year my mother told me that she’d gone out and pawned her jewelry to get money to buy us presents. One of the pieces was my great grandmother’s wedding ring. It was priceless to her, but she gave it up for us.”

She looked out into the audience and froze. I looked back but it was too crowded to see what she was looking at. Finally, she smiled another fake smile and kept going. “She gave up a lot more for us, too. My brother couldn’t be here and I’m sure most of you know why. I wasn’t exactly the easiest child to raise either. Through it all, she stuck by us. I can’t tell you how hard it is for me to lose her. Sometimes I feel like she’s all I’ve ever had. I’m going to miss her so much.”

Heather covered her face with her hands and moved away from the podium. I looked around and saw people watching, so I rushed to her side and helped her come back down to sit.

The pastor walked over to the podium again and said his final blessing before the service was over.

We stayed sitting as the people cleared out of the church. Heather didn’t say anything. Instead, she rested her head on my shoulder and stared at the closed casket as the men stood up and approached it. I’d volunteered to be a pall bearer, so I scooted away from her and headed up myself.

While waiting for everyone to get into position, I noticed a few ladies trying to console her. The thought was nice, but she was going to be hurting emotionally for a while. She said it herself; her mother was her best friend.

The cemetery was located on the back part of the church grounds. One good thing was that the mortuary drove the casket over to the plot and then we just had to carry it a few more feet. Since I was involved in that, I wouldn’t be with Heather as she made her way out to the site. I was a little concerned that she wasn’t going to be able to do it, but in the distance I saw her and Jacob holding hands. She needed that kid, now more than ever.

Once everyone was there, I sat down in the front next to Heather. She found my hand before I could offer her one to hold. I squeezed it, giving her some support without saying anything.

The final prayers were made and the service was over, leaving us sitting there to make our final goodbyes. People walked up and dropped flowers on the casket, before walking away. Heather was sobbing again. I leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Jacob and I will be waiting for whenever you’re ready.”

She grabbed my hand. “Please, don’t go.”

“Okay.” I helped her stand up and the three of us walked over to the casket.

“Is Nana’s body in there?” Jacob asked.

Heather nodded.

“But she’s in Heaven with the other angels, right?”

“Yep, she is,” I answered.

“Can we go inside now? I’m thirsty and I have to pee.”

I leaned over and kissed Heather on her cheek. “When your mom is ready we will go in. Just give her a second.”

She turned and looked at me. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

I put my arm around her. “She’s at peace, babe. I know that you know that.”

She nodded. “I don’t know how to live without her. She was the only person that I had to talk to. I feel empty.”

I wanted to tell her that she could talk to me, Hell I wanted to be that person, but I wasn’t making promises I couldn’t keep. “You’re going to be okay. You’re so much stronger than you know.”

A few moments later, we were walking back inside the church. We had to make a pit stop for Jacob to use the lavatory and then headed to where the voices were coming from. The fellowship hall was full of people. As we walked in, I saw Heather get that look from before. She froze in place and I followed her eyes. Conner was standing with his wife, Amy and Van. “It looks like more people came to the service. Is that what had you so shocked?”

“I guess I never expected them to be here.”

We didn’t have to walk over to them, because they were making their way toward us. Heather seemed to be uptight about talking to them, maybe because I’d given her such a hard time about Conner earlier. Of course, she had no idea that I’d stopped by and seen him and his wife, wanting answers she wasn’t willing to give.

Conner was holding his wife’s hand, while Van walked beside them.

Heather smiled. “Thank you for coming. I know you all liked my mother.”

“How are you holding up?” Amy asked.

Heather shook her head. “Not good.” She rubbed Jacob’s head. “It’s just been hard for us. We’re really going to miss her.”

“My dad died when I was a teenager. It was real hard for me and my sister. I know what you’re goin’ through.” Conner was being cordial with Heather, but she refused to look him in the eyes while he was standing with Amy. This was the first time that I’d seen her react that way.

Amy reached out and touched Heather’s arm. “Are you planning on staying in town?”

Heather looked at me and then back to Amy. “Not long. I need to talk to my mother’s attorney and make sure her estate is in order. Then we’re heading home.”

“Oh, I figured you would move into the house.” Van seemed surprised.