Losing Him (Mitchell Family #8)
Jennifer Foor
Chapter 1
Heather
“Mommy, I don’t want to go. Can’t I stay with Daddy?”
I looked down at Jacob, who didn’t understand the concept of death. The news was still too fresh in my mind to be able to talk about it without crying, and I couldn’t let him see me upset, yet again. My child had seen enough of that in his short five years of life.
I kneeled down and brushed a piece of hair that was sticking up. “Buddy, you know we have to go.”
He looked sad. “Can’t we just go to heaven and visit Nana there?”
I could feel the burn forming in my eyes as I attempted once again to choke back the tears. My mother had suffered from cancer and tried all treatments that were offered, but it was too progressive. In a matter of months it had spread into her bones and several organs.
She died at the hospital, all alone, because I couldn’t get Jacob’s father to watch him and drive there in time.
She had no one there to hold her hand and tell her she was going to a better place. She didn’t have a single family member there assuring her that her loved ones would be okay without her.
I hated myself, but more, I hated him. He was never there for me, and I couldn’t blame him. We’d met under false pretenses and I’d pretended to be a complete stranger when I knew more secrets about his family than he did.
Jessie was everything that I’d been looking for. He knew I was in danger and made sure that I was safe. He cared about me like no other man ever had. He became my world.
It just so happened that when he found out the truth about me, his father, and everything I’d done, he made sure that I was removed from his life. Too bad the damage had already been done. I was already carrying his child.
I have to give it to him for trying. When he found out I was pregnant, he did make an effort. He was there when Jacob was born, pitched in with expenses, and showered him with love.
The only thing he showered me with was heartbreak and an occasional late night f*ck. He continuously hurt me, by ignoring my calls and distancing himself from the life we could have had.
For the next five years, our relationship was on again off again. Sure, I’d considered going to drastic measures to win his heart, but we all know how that worked out for me in the past. Instead, I prayed and tried to be the best mother possible, no matter how much my heart was breaking.
When my mother got sick, Jessie and I were on terrible terms. His parents were a big part of it. Since they’d sheltered him from his biological father, you can imagine how unaccepting they were of me, intruding in their perfect life.
His mom came around when I had Jacob, but she wasn’t pressing her son to be with me either. She just wanted us to get along for our son’s sake.
When I heard Jacob running out of the bedroom, I applied the last of my eye makeup, knowing it was going to run all over my face probably before I got to the funeral home to check and make sure everything was a go for in the morning.
All of this still felt like a bad dream. Even with visiting as much as I could, I still had to take care of my son and work a full time job to support us. One thing I could appreciate was that my mother, in the midst of being sick, paid for me to finish up my nursing degree. I’d attended a four year college and attained a degree, but didn’t follow through with the nursing program. After Jacob came along, I knew I needed a real career to be able to provide for the both of us, in case my baby-daddy wanted nothing more to do with us.
I’d been a nurse for nearly four years and I loved my job. After all of the bad things that I’d been responsible for, I’d found peace in helping the sick and needy. Of course, I worked in the Oncology ward, dealing with patients of all ages suffering from cancer. Some days were hard, but I knew I was helping and refused to give up, no matter how emotional the job got.
Knowing that I needed to get on the road, I sprayed my hair one more time and went out to gather up my kid and get going.
I’d no sooner walked out into the small kitchen, when I saw my son flying out the door toward the dirt driveway. Pulling in was his father in his big red truck. I grabbed my purse, wondering how bad this was all going to go since he refused to help me out just a day before. Once I took one more look at myself in the powder room mirror, I headed out to greet him.
Jacob was on his shoulders as we met in the driveway. I looked up into his father’s blue eyes that still made me crazy in love with him. “I didn’t expect you here.”
He shrugged, but right away I noticed he was carrying a newly pressed suit wrapped in plastic. It was rare for him to be dressed in something other than jeans and a t-shirt. In fact, I’d only seen it twice. “Don’t push it Heather. I thought about it and I know Jacob would want me there.”
I wanted him there, but I wasn’t about to piss him off by saying it. “I appreciate that. I was just about to leave. Do you need to get anything out of your truck? You do know I have to stay there for the next week?”
“Yeah, I get it. Actually, I plan on seeing my sister while I’m there.” It was the one thing that he didn’t hate me for. Since neither of them knew about each other, they were ecstatic to find out they weren’t only children. After the big reveal, they’d visited quite a few times and kept in touch.
Unfortunately, his sister filled him in on my involvement with his father, even more than I had come clean about. That made him hate me more. In fact, we’d been split up since the last time he’d visited with her and I didn’t have my hopes up for us getting back together.