Losing Him (Mitchell Family #8)(4)

The ride was uncomfortable. We had been split up for a good six months this time. I’d kept myself busy at work and only talked to her when I picked up Jacob. I was pretty positive that she didn’t know how to take me just showing up like I did. Then of course, Jacob wanted to know if I still loved his mother. It was a question that I asked myself everyday.

I still cared about Heather, but as far as loving her, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to use those words again. Too much time had passed. Too much hurt.

I could tell she was a wreck when we got to her moms. That woman did everything for her daughter. I could only imagine how hard it was for Heather to lose the one adult that loved her unconditionally. It had to be devastating.

I’d gotten Jacob situated in the guest room, after letting him get a quick shower. When I noticed that Heather hadn’t comeback inside, I went out looking for her.

The poor woman was still in a ball, in the passenger seat of the car. I approached the window, noticing that she was too busy crying to have noticed me standing there.

She jumped, startled, as I opened the door and offered my hand to her. “Why don’t you come inside?”

“I don’t think I can,” She sobbed. “It hurts so much, Jessie. I just want her back. I miss her so much.”

“I know, babe. Come one. I’ll help you.” I reached in the car and came out with Heather rested against my shoulder. With my arm around her, I walked her into the house where her mother had raised her. I couldn’t be positive, but I think she kept her eyes closed until we walked into her old room. When I closed the door behind us, she wrapped her arms around me and I didn’t pull away. I held her close. “Jacob’s in the spare room. I brought your clothes in here already. Is there anything else you need?”

She looked up at me with swollen eyes. “Don’t leave.”

“I told you that I’m staying with you the whole time to take care of Jacob.”

Heather shook her head, while her bottom lip quivered. “No. Stay with me tonight. Please, just hold me until I fall asleep. I can go and talk to the pastor in the morning. I just can’t do it tonight. I don’t want to be alone.”

Her head was pressed against my chest again. I felt so sorry for her, but kept my guard up. “I’ll stay in here until you fall asleep, but nothing has changed between us. We can’t be together, Heather.”

She nodded, agreeing with my terms. “Okay.”

I could tell she was sad about it, but too upset to argue with me. I was staying with her, which was exactly what she wanted me to do.

I held Heather in my arms, the whole time wishing that there was something I could say to make the pain go away. As much as I pretended to hate her guts, I still hated that she was torn up like she was. The problem was that Heather fed on false hope. I could say one thing and she would think it meant so much more.

It took her about an hour to stop sniffling and fall asleep. After tucking her in, I snuck out of the room and looked for the number to the funeral home. I wasn’t sure if they were expecting her to make an appearance, but it was too late for her to go over there anyway. I wasn’t surprised when the machine came on and it said that they were closed and would reopen in the morning.

I shook my head and hung up, thinking about Heather beating on their door and begging to go in and see her mother in her casket a day early. That woman made me crazy. I needed to help her through this and move on. Being with Heather was nothing but a bad decision that I didn’t want to make again.

After checking on both of them, I headed into the living room and pulled a blanket off of the back of the couch. There was no need for me to find the remote, because my ass was too tired to stay awake. It was going to be a long week and I needed to be rested to tolerate it all.

Chapter 3


Heather


I woke up alone in my room, knowing that Jessie had done exactly what he said he was going to do. He’d waited until I’d fallen asleep to leave me in my room alone.

I don’t know why I even got my hopes up when clearly he was done being with me that way. Jessie was doing his fatherly duty and that was all it was. He wasn’t trying to get into my good graces. I don’t even think he cared about me. He was just here to make sure I remembered to feed and bathe our son, like I would forget that kind of stuff.

It was still dark outside, but the clock read five in the morning, so I decided to stay awake. It wasn’t like I was going to be able to rest for a few more hours with all that was on my mind.

Since my mother had been sick for a long time, she’d made all of her own arrangements, so all I needed to do was finalize them. Not only had she done that, but she’d marked certain items in her house for who she wanted to have them. It was disturbing, at first, when I picked up a vase and someone’s name was on a sticker on the bottom. I was in shock, but the reality of it hit me hard. My mother knew she was dying, and as much as she tried to pretend everything was going to be fine, she knew her time was running out.

It took a while for me to be able to accept it. She sat me down and explained that she didn’t want me to have to do anything when she was gone. She’d wanted me to keep the house, hoping that one day I would raise Jacob in it, or use the money to get a place close to where we lived now. The only thing holding me back from moving was Jessie.

I found him on the couch, sprawled out with his leg on the floor. The blanket had fallen off and he was snoring loudly, with his mouth open. It should have been annoying, but after being without him, I missed it.