Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)
Jennifer Foor
Intro
Love isn’t always something we learn to feel or experience through years of heartbreak and personal endeavors. Though it can grow stronger, people aren’t able to choose when it will happen. Sometimes, in rare instances, it becomes the only thing we live for; the reason we keep striving to move in a forward direction. In other circumstances, it can be the whole reason we exist in this world. That kind of rarity isn’t one to boast about. Loving someone with extreme compassion comes with great agony, and even more patience. Feeling as if you can’t breathe is only the beginning of what could occur when your emotions play a part in the existence of such a powerful word. There have been days where I’ve woken up and wished it wasn’t there, hounding me from the depths of my core. I’ve always considered myself a strong man; one that could withstand extreme amounts of despair without breaking down. I felt like I could get beyond it, however, learned quickly that it doesn’t work that way.
Imagine being in love with the same person since you were a young child, only to have them fall for your twin instead. This story I’m about to tell you is rocky.
It will rip you apart and possibly put you back together again.
I know this because it's my story.
The pain and anguish in this story is what it was like to hold onto hope that some day we'd find each other again. I won't sugar coat the details of what I went through to have her, nor will I apologize for any actions that led me right back into Kat’s life.
There is one thing I’ve learned from all of this.
Sometimes love isn't enough.
Sometimes it takes a little fate, some bad experiences, and a lot of time.
Chapter 1
My story starts from as early as I can recall my first memories of knowing she was everything to me. It was back when life was easy, and the only thing we cared about was how long we could stay outside to play at night. Katy Michaels wasn’t just a girl I met on the streets when I was out playing as a child. She was our next door neighbor, the only child of my parent’s best friends, and the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes on.
Even when we were small, young enough to be bathed in the same tub, or dressed in similar coordinating outfits for pictures, we’d formed a sacred bond. It wasn’t just the two of us either. My twin brother Branch was the third member of our elite group, and although we’d shared other friends, none would ever compare to the relationship that the three of us had. While young, we displayed different personalities. Branch was a jokester, always using ridiculous mockeries to grab Kat’s attention. I, on the other hand, was somewhat of a protector. I made it my life’s mission to make sure I was always around when she was sad, which gave me the benefit of learning to read her early on.
It wasn’t hard to stay close when we lived only feet away from one another. We shared meals, holidays, and every memorable occasion. We were inseparable by fault.
Back when we were too young to realize how complicated life could be, my feelings for Kat began to change. Her hair grew longer, her eyes were brighter, and when she smiled I did the same right back. There was nothing she could do to change my mind either. I felt like she was my angel and assumed someday she’d be mine forever.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one who had those same aspirations. My brother Branch also found interest in Kat.
As we grew older, we found ourselves falling into the pressures of being accepted by our classmates. At the age of twelve it was easy to admit that my plans of becoming Kat’s boyfriend were quite obvious.
While Branch used his cockiness to get under her skin, I was always the person who had her back. I wanted her to feel like she could count on me for anything.
One night we all agreed that we’d practice kissing though admittedly my intentions weren’t only to master the craft. I’d been dying to press my lips against hers, and with that anticipation came a lot of nervousness. She wasn’t just some friend; this was my Kat.
Right before my brother and I headed out to meet her in the tree house, he stopped me, acting weird and irrational. He didn’t make it known that he was claiming first dibs, but I could tell from the way he was acting that something was clearly up with him. Being twins gave me that ability. “Don’t get bent out of shape if after tonight she only wants me.” Branch announced.
“Did you practice on your pillow?” Banter was normal between the two of us. It was something my brother enjoyed, and in a way it had become how he’d learned to communicate when he was nervous or afraid. This gave me an advantage from the get-go.
Lucky for me Branch was in fact a *. He couldn’t bring himself to kiss her, which gave me an added benefit.
At first I was shaking profusely. Our lips met and the shock of it all made me lose control. I was unhinged, forgetting what I was supposed to be doing with my tongue. The utter disgust in myself made me pull away.
Branch laughed at us. “I knew you wouldn’t do it right.”
That was all the motivation I needed to give it another go. “Come on, Kat, let’s try it again.”
I leaned forward, only closing my eyes after I looked into hers, hidden behind long strands of hair that were always in her face, back then. I had no idea how this very moment would seal the deal for me, utterly and completely. I took my time, memorizing, savoring, and trying not to become embarrassingly aroused. Being this close to her was too much for me to handle. Even as our bodies remained parted while we embraced, it was still enough to make it difficult, to say the least.