Losing Him (Mitchell Family #8)(21)
“So you slept with him? That’s pretty bold, Heather. You gave up your virginity to a drunk guy to try to steal him away from his girlfriend?”
I placed my hands flat on the table and smiled. “Yeah, I did. I really believed that.”
“So did your plan work? Obviously, it didn’t?”
“Nope! We had awful drunk sex and then he left. The next morning he showed up at my house. He was crying and begging me to not to tell anyone what had happened between us. He said that Van could never find out, because he couldn’t lose her.”
That sucks for her. “Wow. How did you take it?”
“Well, I was devastated and embarrassed. I’d let him deflower me and he still didn’t want me. So then I started thinking that he’d only felt that way because he couldn’t remember it. I promised him that I wouldn’t tell anyone, ever. Then I told him that if he ever wanted something more, I’d be there waiting. I told him it could be our secret.”
“He probably pounced on that offer. I know I would have at that age.” It was high school. All I thought about was getting laid.
“Nope! He hugged me, but told me that he couldn’t do that to Van. He said he just wanted to pretend that it never happened. My plan had backfired and I was left loving him even more. I was so envious of what they had. I wanted to feel that love that he felt for her. I obsessed over it.”
I laughed, not meaning to offend her. “So you became the stalker type?”
She laughed. “No. I didn’t have to. Ty liked to party. He liked to drink even more. At the next party, I came onto him again, thanks to some spiked punch. This time, he sobered up before we finished. As the sun came up, so did the rush of guilt. He paced around that room and begged me to keep a secret again. Since it was the only way I could be with him, I told him that I’d do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it and it could be our little secret. I may or may not been naked when I offered.”
“So you figured out how to get him into bed again. That’s pretty good for being as young as you were.” She was a little firecracker. I’d seen pictures. Plus, I’d seen her naked. It was something that I could never turn down.
“I was desperate. The more I was with him; the more I wanted him to realize that I was who he should be with. I just wanted him to love me.” She looked sad and I could tell that she regretted her decision. I felt sorry for her, knowing that she’d done something so desperate just to be able to feel what being in a mutual loving relationship was like. The poor girl had been deflowered thinking it would make him love her. It was so damn pathetic.
“For the next couple of years I hooked up with Ty whenever he called. Sure, to keep us a secret, I’d dated other guys, but never been interested in them. I couldn’t be when my heart belonged to Tyler Mitchell.”
“Did he ever say he wanted to be with you?”
“Only when he was drunk. Each time he sobered up, he’d swear that he never said it. When we got into college, he was partying so much that he was out of control. I’ll never forget the day I found out Van had dumped him. He called me and was a crying wreck. Of course, I didn’t waste any time. I spent the night with him and we hooked up every night for the next week. I don’t know how she found out, but one night at a party she walked in on us. Ty was trashed, but went running after her. That was the night that he had his accident. It was the night where everything changed for me. I was so close to having him and she’d ruined it. She’d taken him away from me and I didn’t know if he was going to make it. I snapped!”
I got up and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, before responding. “So evil Heather was born?”
“Yes. It’s when I lost compassion and replaced it with hate. My love for him overwhelmed me and I couldn’t imagine spending one moment in the world without him. I wanted to die myself. In fact, I considered it.”
“Think about what you would have given up. You wouldn’t have Jacob if you had ended things there.” I hated hearing her say she didn’t want to live. Her story was breaking my heart. I understood how a perfectly normal girl could lose her mind over such circumstances. It was horrible.
She nodded. “True, but I also would have saved a lot of people from suffering had I died. That night set everything into motion. My fear of losing him.”
Chapter 11
Heather
I could see that Jessie was feeling sorry for me. That’s not the reason that I wanted him to know the story. I just wanted him to know that I wasn’t always the evil bitch that I had become. He needed to know that I once had a huge heart. I just chose to give it to the wrong guy.
“Jessie, I will never forget loving you. What I feel for you is so much more than I ever felt for Ty. My love for him was based on desperation. Being with you is different. You make me feel whole. I’ve never had that before.”
He reached over and touched my hand. “I feel the same way. I knew it was real. Nobody had ever made me so crazy. I knew it had to be my dumb ass falling for you.”
Jessie looked right into my eyes. Wanting Ty to love me felt like such a long time ago. Jessie was real and he was slipping though my fingers. “Do you want me to continue tonight? We can talk more tomorrow?”
“I’m wide awake.”
“Fine.” I felt defeated. If he’d only give me more time, maybe I could feel his arms around me one last time. “While Ty was in the accident, I did everything I could to claim him as being with me. Then Colt came to town. All of the sudden, Van was spending less time at the hospital and more time in the arms of Ty’s cousin. I finally felt like I had a chance, if only he’d wake up. Then he did.”