Undone(36)

I said an awkward ‘Hi, everyone,’ and Lucas said, ‘Hello, Jem. Sit.’ He patted the space next to him and I sat like an obedient dog. If anyone else had said that to me I would have told them where to go, but this was Lucas and it was all part of the Plan and there was something commanding about him that made it impossible to refuse.

The reactions of the others ranged from entirely uninterested (Amber and Nina, aka New Blonde Girl, who probably hadn’t been granted the right to speak yet), the friendly (Bugs) and the hostile (Stu). He was careful not to let the others see him glare at me, because then he might have had some explaining to do. After a minute or two he jumped up and challenged some random boy to a game of pool.

Then Bugs and Sasha started talking and Amber asked for Nina’s opinion about whether her boobs were looking saggy or not and all I could do was try to remember to breathe. I was determined to keep my mouth shut and listen, because that was the only way I was going to come up with some decent ideas of how to hurt them. Know your enemy – isn’t that what they say?

A couple of minutes later and I’d stopped listening to Bugs’s and Sasha’s conversation. I couldn’t help thinking about how different it was to sit here. The whole common room looked different from this angle. Was it the most desirable place to sit purely because they sat there? Or did they choose that spot because it was the most desirable place to sit? Maybe it was the best seat in the house because it was next to the pool table, or because it was furthest away from the door so you weren’t subjected to that blast of cold air every time someone came in or out? No. I was pretty sure it was them. They made it desirable.

I was vaguely aware of Lucas turning to face me. He didn’t say anything at first, so I didn’t turn towards him. But I could see his face in the corner of my vision and he was definitely looking right at me. Heat crawled all over me, but I tried to ignore the sensation and concentrate on what Sasha was saying.

‘Hey,’ he said softly.

I had to turn to look at him then, didn’t I? I couldn’t very well sit there and ignore him. ‘Hey.’ I had never seen his face so close up before. It was as ridiculously perfect as it was at a distance – maybe even more so. Lots of people look good from a distance, but not many hold up to close scrutiny. This was Lucas Mahoney in High Definition. His eyes were such an impossible blue that I wondered if they might be contact lenses. Looking at his stupidly perfect face made my skin itch. If a baseball bat had magically appeared in my hands, I wouldn’t have hesitated to smash his face with it. Of course, that would have got me arrested, but it would almost have been worth it, just to rearrange those perfect features.

‘So, Jem, what do you have to say for yourself?’

‘I . . . nothing much, really.’

He smiled, but not unkindly. ‘I find that very hard to believe. OK, tell me something about you that no one else knows. Here, I’ll go first. Um . . . right, I’ve got one. Up until last year I still had a night light in my bedroom. It was shaped like an alien and glowed green in the dark.’

‘You’re scared of the dark?’ I didn’t want to smile but I couldn’t help myself.

‘Past tense, thanks very much! I’ve managed to face my fears and now I don’t even have to leave my bedroom door open to see that crack of light from the hallway. Pretty impressive, right?’

I know what you’re doing. This is supposed to be charming and endearing. But why are you doing it? Either he was just trying to put me at ease, make me feel comfortable, because he recognized this must be weird for me, or this was what he did with everyone. This was what made him King Lucas. Insincere self-deprecation and a sweet smile. I had to admit it was a pretty effective combination, but I could see through this boy like a pane of newly polished glass.

‘Yeah, that is pretty impressive. Your parents must be so proud.’ My sarcasm was carefully judged – enough so he knew it was there, not enough for him to think I was a bitch.

His smile faltered a little. ‘Parent. Singular.’ He fiddled with a thin strip of leather tied around his wrist.

That stumped me. ‘Oh. Right . . .’ I trailed off, not wanting to ask what he meant but not wanting to gloss over it either.

‘It’s all right, it’s no big drama or anything. I never knew my dad – he scarpered before I was even born. Tosser.’

‘I’m sorry.’ This seemed like the right thing to say. I couldn’t help wondering why Lucas had brought it up. There was no need for it really. He could have just ignored my proud parents remark, couldn’t he? That’s what I’d have done. Did he want me to feel sorry for him? Was that it?

Lucas shook his head. ‘No need to be sorry. My mum’s pretty amazing . . . and she’s clearly done an awesome job raising me, right?’

‘I . . . yeah.’

He laughed. ‘Jeez, I was kidding! How arrogant do you think I am?’ I chose not to answer that. ‘So come on then, fair’s fair. Tell me a secret.’ He leaned a little closer and I had to force myself not to lean back.

‘I don’t have any secrets.’

‘Everyone’s got secrets, Jem. It’s what makes people interesting.’ The way he was looking at me made me feel naked. His gaze was magnetic. Maybe that’s why he was so popular – he hypnotized people into liking him.

I hate you and your friends and the only reason I’m sitting here right now is because I want to destroy you. I’ll do whatever it takes.