Four Doors Down(64)

I groan again. “Shit!”

“He came and found me after school. Told me to tell you he was sorry. I told him to tell you himself, but he said that he couldn’t because you’ve been ignoring him all week. That you’re refusing to talk to him.”

I look away from her and stare at the ceiling.

“He seemed, I dunno, pretty worked up. Annoyed. Upset, even.” I still don’t say anything; she sighs loudly. “Are you gonna tell me?”

I can feel myself going red, and for the millionth time I wish I didn’t always blush like a ten-year-old. “I kissed him,” I practically whisper the words.

Her jaw nearly hits the floor. “You did what?” Her face lights up with excitement.

“I know, I know, it’s so stupid. It was just after I found out about Charlie. I was really upset and he was being nice to me, and I just…” I break off. She’s grinning from ear to ear.

“This is awesome!”

“Are you kidding me? This is Ryan Jackson I’m talking about. The guy who loves to torture me. He’s gonna tell everyone how I launched myself at him in desperation, and I’ll never be able to set foot in school again.” I look up at the ceiling in despair. Why me?

Sam’s brow furrows in confusion. “Don’t you think if he was gonna do that, he’d have done it already? It’s been, what, four days?”

“He’s probably just biding his time. He would have done it in the cafeteria in front of everyone if you hadn’t cut him off.”

“It all makes sense now. To me, it looked like he just wanted to talk to you. Then got mad when you wouldn’t.”

I sigh. “Trust me, Sam. He’s waiting for the right moment to humiliate me. I should have just got out of there, but I froze.”

“What was all that stuff about Charlie? You’re not getting back with him, are you?”

“No! I have no idea what that was about.”

“Have you even spoken to him?”

“No. Well, he came around here a couple of days ago, but I told him to leave. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Maybe he saw him outside your house? Maybe that’s why he said it?”

Maybe that’s right, maybe that’s why he thought I was getting back with him. That would explain it. Still, that’s no reason to humiliate me in front of everyone. What does it matter to him anyway?

“I hate him,” I tell Sam. I don’t hate him, I know that. But to be honest, I’m not exactly sure what I feel about Ryan right now. Everything is so confusing.

Sam looks at me for a moment, then crosses her legs like she’s about to make an announcement.

“Did you ever wonder why Fran Cunningham never came after you when you confronted her over Kylie?”

I pause thinking back to that day in freshman year. I’d been so angry at the way she had treated Kylie and for the way she mocked her that I reacted and called her out for the bully she was in front of all her friends, all the most popular kids in school. Sam had been with me. She’d been furious and had actually lunged at me, but Ryan had at some point moved to stand next to me and stepped in front of me, stopping her from getting to me before Jake pulled me away. Later that night when the adrenalin had worn off, I’d started to worry. Fran wasn’t a girl that you messed with and I knew she’d find a way to get back at me, to make me miserable but nothing ever happened. She looked at me like I was dirt but that was it and then she graduated later that spring. Of course, I’d wondered at the time why she hadn’t come after me, but I hadn’t thought about it in years and figured she’d just suddenly grown a conscience. I shrug at Sam.

“Well, I did. I swear I was waiting for months for her to come at us. So I asked Jake at the start of sophomore year. When Jake was dragging us away from her that day and Ryan stayed and we saw him talking to her?” She pauses to make sure I’m listening. There’s no need; I’m hanging on every word. I remember that day clearly, while Jake had been trying to get me to calm down and go home we’d turned to find Ryan standing with Fran in deep conversation, the rest of the crowd also listening to him. “Well, apparently he was making it crystal clear to her and everyone else there that if she went after you, she’d be going after him.”

She pauses while she lets this news set in. All I can do is stare back at her.

“Then he told her that if she did go after you, he’d go after her. Think about it, Becca. Ryan was a freshman. Yeah, he was popular, but it’s not like it is now. Fran was this senior and he didn’t know who’d take his side, if everyone would turn against him and go after you regardless, but he didn’t care. He made it clear that you were to be left alone and he made sure you were. That’s why Ryan and Jake and all those guys were there the next day when we got to school. Not to watch Fran kick your ass but to make sure she didn’t.”

I let this sink in for a moment, thinking back to that day and the anger I’d felt and the fury that I knew was coming my way from Fran. I’d gotten to school and found her waiting for me, along with what looked like half the student body probably waiting to see me get my ass kicked, but Ryan and all his friends were there too. They’d been watching her, waiting for her to react. At the time, I’d thought it was because they were there to watch a fight. Sam couldn’t be right, could she? Ryan had been there with all his friends to protect me and make sure I was safe? It makes sense now, why Fran never said anything. I try telling myself that Fran went too far and that’s why nothing ever happened afterward. Everyone was too disgusted by her actions, and even though I know part of that is true, I can now see the other side. Ryan laid down the law. He came to my rescue, back when I refused to even look in his direction.