Four Doors Down(67)

Ding, ding, ding!

A fork is clinking against a champagne glass and I realize it must be time for the toasts. A champagne glass has appeared next to me, but I’ve been too busy staring at my plate to notice. I turn to face Mr. Jackson, glad for an excuse to face away from the table.

He looks around the room and asks his family to join him. Lisa jumps up, but Ryan doesn’t move. It takes another request from his father to get him out of his seat and to the front of the dance floor. I smirk. It’s quite funny watching him squirm for a change. He looks so awkward at the front.

His father starts by saying how lucky he is to have such a wonderful family but I’m barely listening. All the effort I’ve made in avoiding Ryan has meant that I haven’t really looked at him tonight and he looks good. Really good. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him in a tux and standing up there, he’s even taller than his father. His broad chest fills out the shirt, his hair is shining but still slightly messy, which I like. It makes him still Ryan. He’s looking down at the floor waiting for the speech to end, hands shoved in his pockets.

Suddenly he looks up at me and I can’t turn away. His blue eyes pierce mine. My heart starts beating a mile a minute and I lose my breath.

Oh God, I think I want him. I want Ryan Jackson. This will not end well for me.

Okay, I need to get a grip. I turn back to Jake just as the speeches end and the dancing starts. Ryan’s dancing with his sister so I still have a few minutes before he gets back here.

Jake’s watching me smirking.

“What?” I demand.

He holds his hands up. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

I glance around at our nearly empty table. “So, why are we sitting here by ourselves? Where’s the rest of your friends from school?”

Jake shrugs. “Ryan called them up today and told them not to bother coming. I think his mom was pretty pissed and the girls have been bitching about it all day.”

Right. Now I’m confused. “Why would he do that?”

He lets out a deep sigh. “Because, Becca, he knew that if you came and they were here, you’d feel uncomfortable.”

My jaw drops. “But I wasn’t even gonna come. My parents forced me.”

“Exactly and he still did it anyway.”

He stares pointedly at me. I’m really confused.

“Oh for God’s sake Becca! For someone who’s usually pretty smart, you’re being incredibly stupid. Ryan likes you, okay? He’s always liked you.”

“Likes me? Like he wants to be friends again?”

“No, Becca. He does not just want to be your friend.”

I’m speechless, just staring at Jake with my mouth hanging open.

He rolls his eyes and sighs, clearly disappointed with my stupidity. “Come on, Becca, think about it, really think about it.”

“But all he does it try to piss me off and make me look stupid and embarrass me.”

“Because it’s the only way he could get you to talk to him! Look, I’m not saying it was the smartest move, but he just wanted you to talk to him. Even if it was you shouting at him.”

“But he’s always with a different girl?”

“He might have messed around with other girls, but he’s never cared about any of them like he has about you. He didn’t think you gave a damn, so I dunno, all the other girls were a distraction or something. That Jessica Murphy thing was all her.”

I’m shaking my head. Is this a joke? Sam was right and Ryan was actually jealous of Charlie? This can’t be right. I can tell Jake’s getting exasperated with me.

He leans forward intently, like he’s trying to get through to me. “He cares about you, Becca. He really, really cares about you. Kevin Wilson is done at school as far as Ryan’s concerned. You should have seen what Ryan was like after he grabbed you. He wanted to kill Charlie for hurting you. When we bumped into you at that party that time, he couldn’t concentrate knowing you were there, drunk and with another guy. He remembers things about you that I wouldn’t even know about myself. Why do you think I’ve been pushing you to hang around with us so much? I’m sick of hearing about it so I’ve been trying to help it along.”

“But we argue all the time.”

He sighs deeply. “I think they call that chemistry, Becca. I think at this stage you’re the only person in school who doesn’t know how he feels.” He glances up and throws his napkin down, standing up. “Just work it out, one way or another.” He turns and walks away.

I panic. “Hey, wait!” I’m not sitting here at an empty table by myself, I stand quickly to follow him.

“Stop!” I turn back around and Ryan’s returned to the table. “We need to talk, Becca.”

I nod. He’s right. I need to sort this out. I’m feeling really confused. Like seriously confused right now.

I look around. “Yeah, okay. Now’s probably not the best time. Maybe tomorrow?”

His gaze doesn’t budge from me. “No, right now,” he says firmly.

He starts walking quickly toward me, and without breaking stride and before I have time to do anything, he’s grabbed my hand and is pulling me along behind him. I almost trip up and am practically running to keep up with him. I catch Lisa looking at us and whispering to Ryan’s mom before he pulls me out of the tent.