Beautiful Broken Rules (Broken, Series #1)(94)

I decided to ignore his nonsensical statement. “Jaxon, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you so I could tell you how sorry I am. I always get freaked out and weird around that day. I tried to keep it inside, but it was eating me alive, and I just didn’t know how to cope. I’m really sorry. I realize now how ridiculous I was being.” I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans while I looked up at him. I grabbed on like if I just held tight enough, he wouldn’t even consider leaving. He tried to step back out of my grasp, but I just stepped closer to him, giving him a puzzled look. “I made you a mix CD, just listen to it please.”

I bent down to pull the CD out of my bag when he finally spoke again, “Emerson, I tried to talk to you four days ago. I asked you not to run from me and you did anyway… again. I can’t handle this anymore. I tried to be strong enough for you but… I’m just not.” He took the CD from me, but he held it out like he didn’t really want it.

“Jaxon, stop saying all of this, it’s not necessary.” I grabbed his waistband again. “I’m going to be better now, I swear. Let me apologize.” I took a deep breath and said, “I love you.” I watched as he winced in pain at my words. That was definitely not the reaction I was hoping for. Just then the gravity of the situation started to hit, so I lowered my voice to a whisper as I looked up at him. “Don’t do this, I love you.”

“I asked you not to leave the other night, and you did anyway.”

“You promised you would stay patient with me,” my voice rose to a panic level.

“And you promised you would stay.” The fact that the lifeless tone of his voice hadn’t changed at all was scaring me.

“I never left, Jaxon, I just needed a breather from my life. It wasn’t you, it was myparents’ death,” I was almost yelling now. I needed to reassure him that what had happened wouldn’t happen again. “Look, I know it never made sense for you to like me, I was never meant to be in a relationship with anyone. But you forced your way in, pushing past every barrier I had. Don’t give up on me now!”

I could feel the pain streaking across his face. “I don’t think we should be together anymore,” he repeated for a third time.

I stepped forward while he stepped back and screamed, “NO! I love you, I’m here! JUST FORGIVE ME!” Tears were streaming down my face now and I knew I was making a complete fool out of myself in the middle of the courtyard but he needed to know. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS!” He hadn’t moved a muscle from his position; he just kept that aggravatingly unyielding face. When I reached for him again, he stepped backward away from me.

Suddenly, there were strong arms wrapping around my body, lifting me away from Jaxon. “Shh, Em, just stop. Don’t do this here. This isn’t you,” Cole whispered into my ear.

“Cole, you said all I had to do was apologize, you said he loved me!” I yelled at him. Then I finally saw it, no matter how miniscule, I saw Jaxon take a step forward toward me. I almost took a huge sigh of relief, but then he caught himself and took two steps backward. My face twisted with the pain I felt surge throughout my entire body.

Cole started carrying me away when I screamed again. “JAXON, DON’T DO THIS!” I was fighting with Cole to get down and my legs were thrashing violently. If I could just get him in my arms again, he would realize what a huge mistake he was making. “You promised! I told you I wouldn’t survive this kind of heartbreak again! JAXON, LOOK AT ME!” My frantic screams were causing a scene and he was just standing there looking at the ground with his hands in tight fists.