Begin Again (Again #1)(77)

I turned and saw Monica heading our way, with Spencer and Ethan in tow. By now Spencer’s eye had healed.

“Hey,” I heard myself say.

“Can we join you?” Monica asked hesitantly.

As if I could say no. I nodded and forced a smile.

“How are you?” Monica asked.

“Good.” Three pairs of eyebrows went up. “Okay, I guess,” I added, because at least that was kind of true by now.

“Kaden’s not doing so great,” Monica blurted out.

Ethan groaned. “Baby, I don’t think—”

Scott interrupted him. “Good. He doesn’t deserve anything better,” he said, with a polite smile.

Monica glared at him, irritated.

“Kaden can’t let anyone get to him, and you know it, Allie. And if he tries, he panics the next moment and pushes you away again. He’s done it with all of us. Right, guys?” She looked at Spencer and Ethan, who were sitting next to her.

Ethan sighed and wanted to reply, but Monica glared at him until he just nodded in agreement. Spencer just folded his arms across his chest. He didn’t look too happy.

“Then that boy should see a therapist, like yesterday.” Scott was furious.

“It’s okay. It’s over,” I said, putting my hand on his arm. But the words felt like plastic in my mouth. Fake and untrue.

“Allie, we both know that’s bullshit.” Spencer looked up. He frowned and leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “Ever since Alex came over, Kaden has been a basket case.”

Monica gasped. “Alex was here? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“Because Kaden doesn’t want everyone to know.”

“Well that explains something, man.” Ethan ran his fingers through his hair and then draped one arm across the back of Monica’s chair.

Scott snorted. “I’d like to know what that explains. The big bad brother comes over, then Kaden throws Allie out of the house? Sorry, people, but that doesn’t work for me.”

“We have to tell her,” murmured Monica, with a questioning glance at Spencer.

He shook his head.

“Spencer, she deserves answers,” Ethan agreed with Monica.

“Could you maybe tell me what you’re talking about?” Confused, I looked from one person to the other. And then my eyes fixed on Spencer.

He groaned and looked like he wished he were somewhere else. “Kaden and his brother don’t have the most stable relationship, let’s put it that way.”

“Right. He told me about it. About the divorce and his father and the company. And about Alex.” I remembered every single story Kaden had told me about his family.

“When Kaden was eighteen, his girlfriend left him,” Spencer said.

“Kendra,” I whispered, and nodded.

“What does that have to do with … Oh.” Scott’s eyes widened. “Did his brother come on to her?”

Spencer snorted. “No. He raped her.”

“What?” I stared in disgust.

“Alex raped Kendra after a party.”

“Oh God,” I said.

Spencer’s jaw tightened, and he struggled to keep talking.

“Kendra left Kaden because he didn’t believe her. He stood by his brother, who denied everything of course. By then Kaden already had little contact with Alex; you know that their parents’ divorce also kind of drove the brothers apart. But Alex was the big brother, and Kaden had always idolized him when he was younger. Kaden couldn’t believe his brother was capable of rape—let alone attacking his girlfriend. Things between Kendra and Kaden ended pretty badly.” Spencer looked down at the table and pushed around some stray bits of sugar with his finger. “He only found out much later that Kendra had been telling the truth. Kaden’s world fell apart.”

A gasp escaped me, and I grabbed Scott’s arm. He put his hand on mine and squeezed it.

“The incident was hushed up with a lot of money. Otherwise Kaden’s father’s company would have gone down the drain,” Spencer continued. “There’s no way to fix that kind of damage to your reputation.”

I winced. In my mind, I repeated the fragment of conversation that I’d overheard between Alex and Kaden. Everything made more sense now. No wonder Kaden loathed his brother.

“Kaden still blames himself for not believing Kendra right away. And even if he’d never admit it, he’s afraid to hurt and disappoint someone again. I think that’s why he blocks people from getting close to him. He prefers to keep his distance. But you can see for yourself what that’s done to him.”

“But he could’ve talked to me about it,” I sighed, thinking about my own sexual assault and Anderson’s hush money.

Monica sighed. “I think he just didn’t know how. And he was afraid to lose you.”

Her words gave me pause.

“It’s terrible. I mean it. But that doesn’t justify what he did to you, Allie,” Scott insisted.

“People make mistakes,” Monica said without looking at Scott. “I am convinced he regrets it. He’s doing really badly, Allie. He just sits at home and doesn’t talk to anyone but Spencer.”

“Not even me.”

“So what do you do, then?” Ethan asked, irritated.