Begin Again (Again #1)(72)

He whipped around to face me. “I don’t owe you an explanation, Allie.”

And then he left.

And he stayed away. Time seemed to drag. Every hour felt like several days.

It was unbearable.

I nearly called Spencer or even Monica to ask them where he might be. But I rejected the idea just as quickly—there was no way I wanted to be one of those crazy women who wouldn’t give their boyfriend any space. As agitated as Kaden was, I suspected he needed space more than ever. That was clear.

Did I even have a right to ask where he’d gone? We’d never discussed whether we were a couple. I’d never had a talk like that before and didn’t even know if couples did that sort of thing. With the way Kaden and I had been so intimate the last few days, it had felt pretty clear. For me, there was no one but Kaden. I thought he’d felt the same about me.

It didn’t matter anyway whether there was a label to describe what we were for each other. I was worried about him and was on the verge of tears.

When midnight came, I couldn’t hold out any longer. I wrote him a text message. No answer. So I spent the rest of the night on the couch, falling into an uneasy half-sleep and sitting up at the slightest noise.

But Kaden did not come home.





Chapter 30


By the time I dragged myself to class the next morning, Kaden still hadn’t shown up. He hadn’t answered my message. I was sick with worry. And it hurt that, after all I’d told him about myself, he didn’t have the same trust in me. On the other hand, I understood. I knew how hard it was to open up.

Not wanting to trigger wild speculation, I tried to hide my pain and emptiness, telling my friends I had a cold—a credible excuse given the changing weather of the last few days. What happened between Kaden and me was no one’s business.

Dawn had already gotten involved in our drama, with not-so-pleasant results. I didn’t want her fracturing more fingers on my account.

When the afternoon rolled around, I was so worried that I was afraid to go home, for fear of not finding Kaden there. I put it off, instead wandering across campus and then heading for the library. I even started working on a presentation that was due in a couple of weeks. I didn’t go home until the library shut its doors.

My heart tripped when I saw Kaden’s Jeep in the parking lot. I took two stairs at a time and tumbled through the door.

And then stopped. The blood drained from my face so fast that I felt dizzy and braced myself against the wall.

A suitcase stood in the middle of the hall. Next to it, a few boxes. Moving boxes, filled with stuff that looked familiar. Like my crocheted throw. The picture frame with the photo of Dawn and me the day I’d moved in.

My heard began to race. I broke out in a cold sweat.

I made my way past the boxes into the apartment. My door was open, and I heard a loud rumbling sound. Kaden appeared in the doorway, another box in his hands. He didn’t even look at me as he passed by and set the carton down next to the others in the corridor.

“W-what … what are you doing?” I managed to croak.

Kaden ignored me and went back into my room. When he emerged holding my lamp, I blocked his path.

“Kaden, what on earth are you doing?” I asked, this time much louder.

Now he looked at me. His eyes were cold and unfeeling, his posture off-putting.

“I’m kicking you out,” he said in a monotone. “Without notice.”

For a moment I didn’t comprehend. He pushed past me with the lamp. I grabbed his arm and forced him to face me.

“What the hell!” My voice trembled. It felt like someone was pulling the rug from under my feet. Any second I might fall.

“We never drew up a lease. When I say you’re going, you go. So take your things and leave.” His indifferent tone stabbed me like a thousand tiny knives. This was not my Kaden. It was a robot, ice cold and unfeeling.

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered, encircling his other arm. He shook me off and set the lamp down. As he turned to go back in my room, I stood in his path.

“Allie,” he growled between clenched teeth. That sounded more like Kaden.

“What did your brother say to make you think you have to get rid of me,” I demanded. And though I was teetering on the verge of a breakdown, my voice was somehow now firm. “What did you discuss?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You can tell me everything, Kaden. Just like you promised to do,” I said, my voice softer now. “Please, don’t shut me out.”

He looked at me. His jaw was tight. A vein was pounding on his temple. “No.”

“I thought this kind of thing was behind us. I thought we trusted each other.”

“You thought wrong.”

I grabbed him by the shoulders. “Are you kidding me, Kaden? Yesterday, you tell me how good it feels to make me happy, and today you’re throwing me out of the apartment for no reason?”

“It was a mistake. The whole thing was a huge mistake.” He whispered, as if trying to convince himself.

“What happened between us was no mistake,” I countered. “What happened between us is the best thing that ever happened to me—and you, too, I thought. Why are you letting someone take that from us?”

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.