Before I Saw You(50)

No one said anything for a minute. Even though they’d had emotional conversations before, it still took Alice some getting used to when Alfie was being sincere. Sarah squeezed her tightly and Alice refused to look her in the eye. She didn’t want her friend to see the warmth his words brought to her heart or the swell of affection she felt for him in that moment. It would be written all over her face, and she wanted to keep it to herself for a while longer.

‘As cute as you guys are, please stop talking about me like I’m not here!’ She hoped she wasn’t being too dismissive of his kindness, but she didn’t know what else to say. ‘And enough about my mum. There are more important things to discuss.’

‘Like?’ Sarah looked at her, confused.

‘Like … when are you going to make yourself useful and get me some food? I’m starving.’

‘Maybe when you decide to get out of bed and come with me?’

‘I can’t leave the hospital, you know that.’

‘But you can leave your bed, Alice.’

‘Not now, Sarah. You’ve just got back in my good books so don’t push it.’ She gave her a wry smile.

‘Charming. Alfie, I’d get out while you can, otherwise she’ll have you running around after her 24/7!’

‘Trust me, with one leg there will be little to no running happening. I’m safe to stick around, I think.’

Another burst of warmth and a tingling in her stomach.

Christ, pull yourself together.

‘Seeing as there’s nothing better to do, and you’re my best friend in the entire world, I guess I’ll go get us some food. What do you want?’

Alice was quickly pulled out of her self-pity. ‘Anything full of carbohydrates and garlic.’

‘Really? You want Pizza Express again?’ She looked at Alice and shook her head. ‘I’d forgotten what a creature of habit you are. Didn’t you eat the same meal every lunch and dinner for about four months at university?’

‘Yes, and it was absolutely delicious.’

‘You’re the boss!’ Sarah saluted and closed the curtain behind her as she left. ‘Alfie, do you want anything while I’m out?’

‘I’m good, thank you. One of the nurses sneaked me in a chocolate brownie earlier, so I’m done for treats today.’

‘I’m glad you decided not to share any of it with us!’

Alice loved listening to Sarah and Alfie. A small part of her wished they could remain in this microcosm of life for ever, safe and sound and full of their own strange routines.

‘So, may I ask what this same meal for four months consisted of then?’ Alfie’s voice was thick with mischief.

Goddammit, why was Sarah always dropping her in it?

‘How did I know you would ask me that?’ Alice grumbled.

‘Because I’m the most annoyingly curious person you’ve ever met?’

‘That could be it. Also made more annoying by the fact you openly admit to your annoyingness.’

‘You have to be proud of what you’ve got, right? Come on then, stop distracting me. What was this gourmet meal you so lovingly consumed twice a day for four months?’

She closed her eyes and smiled in anticipation of his reaction. There were many justifications she wanted to reel off, but she knew it wouldn’t make any difference to his opinion. ‘Pasta with baked beans, cheese and ketchup, and if you haven’t tried it for yourself then I accept absolutely no judgement or bullying from you about it.’

‘Interesting addition of the ketchup. For me it was always barbecue sauce,’ he said casually.

‘AS IF you used to eat that too!’ Alice couldn’t help but get excited, slamming her hand down on the bed in disbelief.

‘Hell yes, I did. What’s not to love about the warm cheesy mix of that bowl of carbohydrate goodness? A childhood staple for me, in fact.’

‘I wasn’t expecting that.’

‘Don’t write me off just yet. I’m not sure we’re as different as you might like to believe.’

‘Trust me, Alfie, I know that we’re different. But I still wouldn’t write you off in a million years.’

She smiled as the silence settled over them once again.





40


Alfie





He didn’t care that Alice had got so mad. That her talk of dying had sent both him and Sarah into distressingly dark thoughts. All that mattered now was that Alice was talking again and she seemed OK. Her words lingered in his head, filling him with a warm buzzing that seemed to radiate from somewhere deep inside his stomach.

It was odd to think he still hadn’t seen her face. Some days this bothered him more than others. In reality, did it matter? He’d never judged his friends on their appearances; in fact, most of the time he barely even registered what they looked like. Other days, though, he felt desperate to see her. To look into her eyes when she spoke and see her face shape itself into a hundred different expressions. He longed to know who she was, and thought that somehow her face would hold all the secrets. In those moments he would scold himself.

Looks aren’t everything. Stop being so shallow.

Of one thing he was certain: with the majority of his focus on Alice, his own recovery had started to take a back seat. Everything else felt less important than making her laugh. He was in deep with this latest crusade, and he often wondered whether his efforts were because it was her that he cared about so much, or because he simply had to save someone.