Before I Saw You(42)
Then he stopped.
He barely knew this woman. From the outside it was an absurd situation. Two strangers talking all day every day but never actually meeting face-to-face? Could you even call that a friendship?
His head started to pound from all the thinking, his feelings blurring into one another until his insides felt like one giant melting pot.
‘Alfie, you’ve gone awfully quiet.’ Sarah’s voice sounded concerned; not so much about his welfare but more, he supposed, about what he was planning.
‘Geniuses need time to think. I’m taking my new role very seriously.’
‘New role?’
‘Yes, Chief Entertainment and Recovery Officer.’
‘Let me guess … you’re an only child, right?’
‘Wrong! But I’m the youngest of three boys. To avoid being beaten up and teased every day, I had to find ways to entertain myself. My imagination was a godsend.’
A short sharp longing clawed at his heart. The three Mack brothers, so alike in looks but so different in nature. He loved them all the more for it, but neither of Alfie’s brothers had been able to visit him since the accident. The corporate sell-outs had both relocated abroad, making it even more difficult for them to escape their already demanding offices and drop by.
‘Well, now it’s our godsend.’ Sarah suddenly appeared in front of his bed. She silently mouthed the words ‘thank you’ and blew him a kiss. It was nice to be relied on again. He’d forgotten how great a responsibility it was to take care of another person’s loved one. That was one of the parts of his teaching job he loved the most. You were in possession of someone’s greatest gift and it was your duty to look after them.
‘I’m glad to see my talents are appreciated by someone on this ward. Are you sure you can’t stay here for ever? Do you have to leave us for the golden sands and sunny climate of Australia?’
‘Unless I want a divorce and/or unemployment for an early Christmas gift, then yes.’
‘Can’t argue with that one.’
‘Right, I’m going to go and do the obligatory family lunch with my dad and step-mum. It’s a good job they don’t know you’re not in a critical condition any more, Al. I’m unashamedly using you as an excuse to get out of there in less than two hours.’
‘Charming.’ Alice’s voice sounded flat. She’d retreated back to near silence ever since the doctor’s visit that morning.
‘What are friends for, hey?’
A memory flashed through his mind. That was the exact same phrase Ciarán would say to Ross whenever he’d annoyed him. They were always getting at each other with non-stop pranks and teasing, but no matter how far they pushed it, they would always end up laughing about it a moment later.
Fuck.
Even the good memories had that familiar stab of grief and guilt associated with them. Would he ever be able to think about them without wanting to rip his own heart out and scream?
Distract yourself, Alfie.
Fortunately, his attention was caught by a conversation happening across the room.
‘Arthur, you may be over ninety, but if you don’t start doing what you’re told and looking after yourself, I swear to God I’ll leave you,’ Agnes chided. Normally her nagging of Mr Peterson was purely playful, but Alfie could tell instantly that today she wasn’t joking.
‘Oh, give it a rest, will you,’ Mr P huffed. ‘I’m fine. The doctors say I’m fine. The nurses are checking on me every five bleeding minutes now you’ve been on at them. What more do you want?’
Alfie didn’t want to listen in but it was hard not to, especially when it concerned Mr Peterson’s health.
‘Are you eating properly? Are you taking all your medication?’ Agnes was relentless in her questioning.
‘Yes, woman, I am! Now, please can we just enjoy our time together, because I’m absolutely fine …’
Mr Peterson had his curtains open just enough for Alfie to see the old man reach out for his wife’s hand. Alfie racked his brains to see if he’d noticed any further decline in Mr P’s health since the morning he supposedly overslept. Only when he tried to think did he realize that he had barely spoken to the old man in the last few days. Overcome with guilt, Alfie made a mental note to check in with him more regularly. It wasn’t OK to get caught up completely in Alice and Sarah, and forget everyone else around him.
‘Got any more crossword clues for me then?’ Her voice was magnetic, drawing all his attention back to her.
He smiled. ‘I knew you’d be back for more.’
Alice’s hand shot through the curtain, middle finger pointing proudly up at him.
He wanted to reach out and grab it. To pull back the curtain to reveal more than just her pale scarred hand. The same question that had been plaguing him since her arrival burned fresh in his mind once again.
Who was the girl hidden behind the curtain?
33
Alice
It was funny – minus the encounter with the doctor that morning, and despite still being hospital-bound and scarred, Alice hadn’t felt this happy in a very long time. Having Sarah by her side had been the biggest gift she could have asked for. She was also very aware that their time together was short, and after today there were big decisions to be made.