Don't Let Me Fall(83)

another.

Alice will always be with me.



- 18 -



Winter break should have been me relaxing and not worrying about classes, exams and other shit. Instead, I was constantly thinking about someone. Two to be exact. Logan and Alice.

And I couldn’t stop. I know Logan’s back from Maryland. He came by the day after my birthday. I kind of used my suicidal tendencies to my advantage and told everyone that if they

let him into the house, I will end my life. Slitting my own wrist in the bathroom months earlier made them believe me.

New Years is in four days. And the trial is in a week.

When I’m not thinking about that two-timing *, I’m thinking about Alice. My mind is constantly working that I can’t sleep. I don’t even know what time it is but I know it

’s late. There isn’t a lot of noise outside so that means no one is walking around.

When something hit my window, my eyes widened and my body tensed. It snowed last night but there isn’t much wind to make it fly off the roof or trees around the house.

I heard another sound and then something sliding.

Oh. My. God.

I reached for Hunter’s arm slowly and got ready to whip it. I can scream, get everyone to wake up and run. I’ll kick this person’s ass if necessary. Footsteps were on the

floorboards and they came closer. Shit. They’re coming to my bed. I stared at the shadow on my wall getting bigger as the footsteps got closer.

And then the bed dipped.

Um…okay…

I grabbed Hunter and whipped him forward as I shot up and landed a hit somewhere. I heard a grunt, a ‘f-uck’ and then my light turned on.

“Shit, Rebeckah, it’s just me,” Logan said holding his jaw.

“What the f-uck are you doing climbing in through my window?” I snapped, completely baffled that he came in through my window! “And why are you here? Get out.” I grabbed my

comforter and covered my b-reasts. I’m only in a bra and shorts. I wasn’t in the mood to put on more clothes after my shower.

“You know why I’m here,” Logan said walking over to me, nothing friendly about the way he’s looking at me. “And I’m your stalker. You shouldn’t be surprised that I got in

through the window.” Most girls would love seeing this. I’m not most girls.

“You’ll be surprised when I throw you out of it.”

Logan raised an eyebrow at me then sat on my bed.

“Get the f-uck out of my room,” I said climbing out of bed so I don’t have to see him. “And I suggest you use the door so I don’t push you out.” I glanced at him over my

shoulder to see if he was moving. He wasn’t. “I’m serious. Go.”

“No.”

What?!

“Um, this is my room,” I said turning and placing a hand on my hip. I’ll throw him out. I will. I don’t care if it’s childish.

His eyes traveled over my body. I didn’t move. This guy has seen me naked. I don’t give a shit if he sees me like this now.

“I’m not leaving until you hear me out,” he said, standing.

“Oh, should I hear your side of the story?” I asked. “My dad didn’t want me to die. He bumped into you. You used me. I found out. We’re done. It’s simple. Now get out of my

room.”

“I didn’t use you.” He walked up to me. “I–”

“You knew!” I spat, and then remembered it’s really late at night so I kept my voice down but kept the edge in it. “You knew I was more f*cked up than what I was putting on and

you still tried to get me to talk. You annoyed the shit out of me. You made me want to kill myself.” That’s a lie. I just want him to go. But he’s not f-ucking moving!

“I stayed because I didn’t want you to hurt yourself,” Logan said grabbing my arms. “I never met you before the first day of school. Your dad bumped into me and I guess he knew

I knew Victor so he thought it would be perfect. He wanted you to get help but you’re so f-ucking stubborn, Rebeckah. You’d rather kill yourself than get help.”

I shoved him away from me but he grabbed onto my arms even tighter. “Call it selfish but the moment I laid eyes on you, I didn’t want to let you go. It was never fake for me. I

never saw you as someone I needed to change.”

“You saw me as someone to f-uck,” I muttered.

He blew out a breath and slipped his hands up my arms until he was holding my head, making me look at him. “I saw you as someone to love,” he said softly, holding my eyes and

trying to get me to believe that bullshit.

Love. I mentally rolled my eyes at that one.

Someone like me doesn’t deserve to be loved because I’m too damaged. I always will be. A piece of paper deserves more love than I do. In a way it does get more. People recycle

paper. They think about it and set it aside from the trash pile. Me…well I’m just f*cked then dumped into the trash.

And I want it that way.

I don’t get hurt that way.

I squared my eyes on Logan and pushed every emotion I ever felt out of my head. I will not love, care or hurt. I will just…be. Someone like me will always be tossed around. I’m