Don't Let Me Fall(81)

“This wouldn’t have happened if you told me Logan was using me,” I said, trying to sound calm so they don’t start yelling. “Breaking up with someone is hard. Breaking up with

them because they were lying the whole time is harder.”

It doesn’t justify my actions but they had a part in this too.

“You never said you two were dating,” Jacky snapped.

I looked up at her and took in her smeared mascara and wild hair. She always looks perfect. Now she looks like she went to hell and back, and possibly got hit by a semi-truck on the

way there.

“Have I ever dated anyone?” I asked. “No. This was my first relationship so sorry if I wanted to be in control. For the first time in my life I got to choose what I wanted to do.

There were no side effects. I was happy. I was moving on.”

“That’s what I wanted Logan to help you with,” Dad said leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. “You wouldn’t talk to anyone else. I had to do something.”

“How did you find him?” I asked, eyeing everyone. It’s hard to think of them as my family since I found out they stabbed me in the back and left me out to dry. “Did you go on

Craigslist and put in an ad for someone willing to help a twenty-one-year-old suicidal time bomb? Did you include that if they’re good looking and have a way with words, I’d f-uck

them for their help?”

“Birdie, please,” Dad sighed.

“No,” I said taking a deep breath. “I get that you wanted to help me but you should have told me. You couldn’t possibly think Logan wouldn’t try anything with me. He’s a guy.

And he’s not a virgin.”

You can’t expect a hot as f-uck, blue-eyed guy to play nice.

“He wasn’t supposed to touch you,” Remy said wiping his hand over his jaw, his green eyes hardening. “He was supposed to get you to talk. Open up. It was a bonus that Aimee was

in your classes. You’d be around him even more.”

Unbelievable.

“Did you pay him?” I asked. I don’t know if that’s worse. Yeah, I think it is. Logan would have accepted money from my family to date me. I feel like an escort. Like a

prostitute. I had sex with him.

“No,” Matty whispered. “Dad just wanted his help. He accepted.”

“Why?”

Everyone was quiet.

“I told him you were unstable…” Dad said dropping his eyes to the coffee table. My jaw dropped. I mean, I know me being unstable was brought up but that look on his face…Dad

told him I was unstable and failed a suicide attempt.

“He knew,” I stated. “He knew everything, didn’t he?”

I glanced at Kelsey but she shrugged her shoulders.

“I was in the hospital. I wasn’t included into this until a month later,” she said. She could have told me.

I thought I was keeping secrets. Logan knew all along.

I stood up and walked to my room.

Talking seemed like too much to do. Instead, I started cleaning up my room and ignoring Logan’s calls. I wanted to turn off my phone but Toby called and we’re texting back and

forth now. Peyton mentioned that Aimee was trying to stalk the bar while he was over making sure everything is turned off because it’s Christmas and Tim closed the bar.

He decided to give us a break. And that decision was based on his wife giving him shit for only having two bartenders. Starting January 1st there will be two more. Our hours will be

cut down.

I’m glad they’re getting more people because I have to take the 4th off for the trial and I would feel bad if it was just Peyton working. He did it before but now I know he’s

being taken from Toby so I don’t want his life harder than it already is.

Logan called for the hundredth time and my stupid finger decided to answer it. And my phone froze. I couldn’t end it.

“Rebeckah?” Logan’s voice filled the room and my heart stopped. “Please don’t hang up.” I can’t at the moment because this stupid phone doesn’t unfreeze! “I have to talk to

you. It’s not what it looks like. I didn’t do it for money or anything. I just wanted to help you. But when I saw you that first day something happened. I didn’t play you. It was

all–”

I stuffed my phone under pillows.

And I sighed in relief.

When I checked my phone again, it wasn’t frozen so I ended the call.

Someone knocked on my door. I didn’t answer, they came in. Jacky and Kelsey climbed onto my bed with a gift in their hands. Jacky has a small blue box with a white ribbon and

Kelsey has a bigger box with teddy bear gift wrap. God, the teddy bear! I threw Hunter on the floor and never picked him up. I may have choked him out before throwing him down.

“Don’t hate us, okay. It’s bad enough we let it happen,” Jacky said, handing me the gift. “Happy birthday.”

Kelsey handed me hers. “Merry Christmas.”

I opened both of them and stared at the two gifts in my hands. Jacky’s was a box full of Hershey’s kisses. I can’t be that mad at her now. Kelsey’s was a picture frame that read

BFF’s. It was a picture of me and Alice laughing as two random guys threw us over their shoulders, the beginning of freshman year. A third guy took the picture because Alice and I