Don't Let Me Fall(82)

looked like we were enjoying the moment. The photo captures us holding hands and staring at each other.

We look happy. We were alive.

“Merry f-ucking Christmas,” I whispered.

I popped a kiss in my mouth and stared at my sisters.

“I can’t hate you,” I finally said. “One because you’re my family and two because you did what you did to help me. He did help me. I hate to say it but he did. I didn’t think

about hurting myself. I was happy. I looked forward to tomorrow.” I wiped away a tear before more came out. “But I’m hurt. I was weak and lost and I wanted to die. It was my

decision and you guys judged me for it. I didn’t want help because I didn’t care. You guys forced me into something I didn’t want to do. Look where I am now. Not only am I hurt

but I’m heartbroken. I trusted Logan. I was falling for that *. I can’t be happy because nothing ever works out right. If you guys didn’t go behind my back, we wouldn’t be

here. I wouldn’t be crying. Feeling lonely and lost. Again.”

The cycle started over again.

I lost someone. I’m hurting. I don’t know how to move on.

“You’re not lonely,” Matty said leaning against the doorjamb. I looked up at him, his eyes holding mine. “And judging by the number of times that guy calls, he doesn’t want you

to think you are either.”

“Don’t mention him around me,” I said. “I’m serious.”

He can keep his damn blue eyes, that sexy f-ucking smile, those kissable lips and himself in general, in Maryland. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to hear his name anywhere.

I can’t hate my family but Logan is a different story.

He used me in the worst way. He went behind my back and crept into my life. I opened up and gave him a part of me that I never gave anyone. I told him I was falling in love with

him. I believed he was too.

I guess it was just sex.

That’s all men want from me.

I’m not dateable. I’m not the girl you bring home to meet your parents. I’m not even the girl you leave your animals with. I’m the girl you stay away from because I’m bad news.

I’m the girl that gets into trouble. I’m the girl your parents use as an example to stay clear of and find a girl with clean skin, a nice mouth and manners.

No one wants to date a bitch.

You just f-uck them.

“Hey,” Dad said as he walked into my room. Remy leaned on the opposite side of the door with a sad smile. I would totally kick him in the nuts if Jacky didn’t love him so much.

He was in on it too. He kept it a secret. I treat him like family and he went behind my back. “The tree is still up. Would you like to throw that across the room?”

“Haha,” I said tracing a finger along the side of the picture frame in my hands. We look so happy. I want that.

I want to be happy again.

“How about cake? Can we throw cake at each other?” I asked. I know they have my birthday cake ready. They mentioned it.

“No,” Remy said. “I spent two hours icing it.”

I gave him a look and everyone followed. “Are you sure you shouldn’t be dating Toby instead of Jacky?” I joked.

“It’s a penis cake,” he said throwing his hands up, trying to defend his masterpiece.

That doesn’t make it any better.

“You better go downstairs and change that cake,” Dad said pointing at Kelsey. “She is not having a piece of it the way it is.”

“I can have the tip,” Kelsey said smiling. She knows what she’s doing. Dad’s going to explode. Everyone burst out laughing as Dad’s eyes widened. He looks like he just got hit

by a car but the moment got paused.

“Baby girl, you’ll want the whole thing,” Jacky winked.

“Jacky!” Dad said, getting redder.

“And you’ll want to scream until the neighbors tell you–”

“Jacqueline,” Dad said pointing a finger at her. “Stop.”

Ooh, this is good. Dad is getting embarrassed and Kelsey is loving it.

Jacky laughed and nudged Kelsey’s arm. “Dad will have a heart attack when you have sex. I suggest you don’t tell him until you’re five guys in. That’s what I did,” she said.

“Wait…” Dad said. “You said Remy was your first.”

We’re the weird family that knows this kind of shit.

“Mr. Lennox, Jacky got around before we dated,” Remy said scratching the back of his head.

“Asshole. Are you calling me a slut?” Jacky asked giving him the death stare. “Because you got a piece of the cake. You’re still eating the cake.”

“Gross. No. Don’t,” Matty said waving a hand around. “Stop the sex talk. Can we eat cake now? Oh, god. Now the penis cake makes me want to vomit. Let’s go…eat something.”

“Out,” Jacky and I said together.

Everyone got it except for Kelsey. That’s okay, she doesn’t need to know what getting eaten out is just yet.

We headed downstairs and tried to salvage the broken birthday/Christmas spirit. Toby and Peyton came over and it kind of made things better. I lost one Williams but I still have