Don't Let Me Fall(87)

I brought my hand to his face and let my fingers have fun as I traced lines on the light freckles on his nose and cheeks. He’s soft and smooth until I get to his stubble. It’s

rough against my fingertips but it feels good. His dark lashes resting against his cheekbones are perfect. He’s perfect.

I’m one f*cked up person but Logan sees past it.

He accepts me.

But what happens when he finds the perfect girl? The one that he can bring home to his parents and show off to all his friends? I probably screwed all his friends. I did get around

with a lot of people back in Seattle. Most were from different states so I wouldn’t know. And it’s not like I can pick a guy out of a crowd and remember our time together. It was

just something I did. I was horny and the first guy that saw it, helped me. Then it was over. On to the next one.

“I wish I can tell you that I love you,” I whispered, staring at his lips. “Because I do. I’m just scared you’ll find someone better than me so I’m making it easier for you to

leave.”

I watched his chest rise and fall as he continued sleeping then I pecked his lips quickly before getting out of bed. I grabbed clothes and slipped out of my room, heading to the

shower.

I secretly wanted Logan to sneak in here with me but I reminded myself that I’m not in my own place. I’m not at a dorm where people can walk around naked and you can f-uck them up

against the wall when you feel like it.

I got out of the shower, threw on my clothes and headed to my room. I made it just in time to see Matty burst into my room, yelling.

“Hey!” I ran inside and grabbed his arm. “I want him here.” That took a lot from me to say.

“What are you talking–” Matty turned around and his dark eyes found mine. I’m guessing he didn’t see Logan in my bed. “When the f-uck were you going to tell us that some guy

tried to attack you at work?!”

I don’t know what’s worse. Matty yelling this to the world, Dad and Kelsey walking into the room with worried looks or Logan sitting up in bed with a look that could kill. And it

’s not directed towards me. He’s thinking about someone touching me. And he wants to know why I didn’t say anything. Hm, I’m getting good at reading him too. Looks like he’s

not the only one that can get in my head.

“What is Matty talking about?” Kelsey asked. Her eyes held mine then they glanced at my bed. She did a double take when she saw Logan in it. When her eyes found mine again, she

was smiling like she was handed the world.

“Nothing,” I said shaking my head. I don’t want her to worry. This is exactly why I didn’t say anything.

“It’s not nothing!” Matty snapped. “Toby is downstairs waiting to tell you that his mom dug through police records and she found one for an attempted robbery this month.”

“Matty!” I said through clenched teeth. “Shut. Up.”

He knew exactly why I was giving him that look. He glanced at Kelsey and the color drained from his face. Her eyes are watery and she’s looking at the two of us like we’re going

to drop dead right in front of her.

I walked up to her and grabbed her arms.

“It was nothing. I kicked his ass then went to the police station to file a report just in case something like that happens to someone else. Nothing happened.” She chewed on her

bottom lip as tears slid down her cheeks. “Kelsey, I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“I can’t help it,” she sniffled, wiping her eyes. “I wake up every day not knowing if I’ll see you.” That crushed me. I know she’s not calling me out on being suicidal but I

’m causing her to worry for nothing. She worries she’ll wake up and I’ll just be…gone. She’s getting better so I stopped thinking I wouldn’t see her when I woke up.

Now you have to be brave, Becka. You have to want to live.

I closed my eyes and squeezed her arms a bit harder.

“I promise I’ll wake up every morning,” I said. Do you want to live, Becka? Yes. Are you sure? Yes. I opened my eyes and found hers. “I promise that when I fall asleep each

night, I will wake up the next morning until I’m old and gray. If something happens that I can’t control then I will fight my way back, Kelsey. I will always try.” I’m not an

idiot and I’m not going to tell her I won’t die. We all die. I can’t promise her something that I know I’ll break. But I can promise her hope. I will live and I will try. I won

’t give up.

I won’t let the bad thoughts win.

“You better try hard because Dad is going to kill you for having that sexy man in your bed,” Kelsey said breaking into a smile. She glanced at Logan then at Dad. “And they weren

’t wearing clothes when I walked in.” She laughed when she walked out of my room and Matty followed.

Dad stared at the two of us with his mouth hanging open.

“She saw you two?!” he growled under his breath.

“No, sir,” Logan said standing up. Sir? Oh, god, he just called my dad Sir. That is so weird. And cute. Still weird though. “It was dark…and we weren’t on the bed.” I don’t