Don't Let Me Fall(90)

When I resurfaced, everyone was in the water, splashing each other and laughing. This is a good distraction. This is a good way to end the year and start fresh. Forget Everything.

I will not forget Alice, though. She’s always in my heart.

I love you, Becka. Always.

“Logan,” I looked up into his eyes as I wrapped my legs around him. Say it. Rebeckah, say it. His arms wrapped around me, holding me tight. Say it. The words want to come out.

They want to. I wiped wet hair off his forehead as I tried to say it. If I just tell him, it’ll be easy. I can do it. I can.

I couldn’t.

“I know,” Logan said sliding a hand to the side of my face as his blue eyes bore into mine. “I know.”

I closed my eyes and leaned into him.

One day I will say it.

One day he’ll know how much I love him.



- 20 -



I can’t do this. I can’t get on that plane. I thought I could but I can’t. My feet are glued to the floor and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. I have my head in-

between my legs, trying to breathe, but it’s not helping.

“Birdie, we’re–”

I glanced up at Dad in the doorway of my room. It’s only seven at night. We have to be on the plane at eight so we can be in Washington on time. Court starts at eight in the

morning so we’re staying at a hotel nearby. I can’t do this. Five and a half hours on a plane to go to a place I don’t ever want to go back to.

Breathe. Count to ten. Breathe.

My family wants to come and I said it was fine because I thought that would help. They’ll be in the courtroom with me. They know I might explode so they want me to remember that I

’ll be okay. I didn’t do this. I never wanted this. I want my best friend back.

“Everyone is in the car,” he said walking over to the bed.

“Dad, I don’t think I can do this,” I heaved. “And school starts tomorrow. Matty and Kelsey shouldn’t miss it. Jacky and Remy don’t have to miss work either. And you. You don

’t have–”

“We’re not leaving you behind,” Dad said squeezing my knee. “And we already took care of everything. We’re taking the week off just in case the trial takes longer than

expected. We’re here for you, Birdie. We’re not going anywhere.”

Dammit.

I cried.

Hearing that made me breakdown. My family loves me and they want to help. I should let them in and accept it.

Finally, I got the courage to get up and move.

When I stepped outside, my breath caught.

Toby, Peyton, Logan and Aimee are waiting by Logan’s car. Darren and Caleb are beside them like always.

“Dad, they’re not–”

“Darren and Caleb are only driving the cars back. The twins kind of already bought the plane ticket and demanded they go with us,” Dad said ushering me down the stairs.

Hell no. The twins are not going! No, I do not accept that.



***

“Peanuts?” Aimee asked, stretching her hand out to me. I’m gripping the armrest of the plane’s seat with so much strength, I feel my fingernails breaking. The pain doesn’t

hurt. I can’t feel anything right now. “Hey, relax, okay. You’ll do fine.”

I turned in my seat which is beside Remy’s but he went to the bathroom so I have some room now. I glanced over at Aimee and Logan.

Logan knows my story already. Aimee knows a little.

“You’re going to hear things that don’t sound like me,” I said to Aimee. “You shouldn’t have come.”

Aimee dropped the peanuts and grabbed my hand. “This is what friends are for,” she said. “And I doubt there is anything that can change my mind about you. You’re amazing, Becka.

Who cares if you’re a slut?” She kissed my cheek and winked at me.

“You’re going to miss classes,” I said looking at the two.

“Rebeckah,” Logan said giving me a look. “It doesn’t matter how hard you try to kick us out, we’re not leaving.” I wish he was lying but he’s not. These two are stubborn. It

sucks that there’s two of them.

“Hey, you know what I noticed?” Jacky asked glancing at me from two seats down. “Logan doesn’t call you Becka or anything. He always calls you ‘Rebeckah.’” I noticed that

too.

Aimee smiled when she nudged Logan’s arm.

“It’s because we had a dog when we were younger named Becka,” Aimee said smiling. “Logan killed it.” Um… Why is she smiling about that?

“I didn’t kill her,” Logan clarified. “She stole my cake and ate too much of it.” He glanced at me. “I didn’t kill her.” I can’t even picture him harming anything so I

believe him.

“You don’t have a problem calling me Becka,” I said to Aimee.

“I like calling you my bitch,” she smirked. Kelsey and Matty laughed and Dad had a smile forming on his lips. Remy came back from the bathroom and asked what the laughing was

about. Jacky clued him in.

“You don’t want to call me your bitch?” I joked at Logan.