Don't Let Me Fall(92)

“It’s her birthday,” Toby said messing with his cuticles.

I got out of bed and walked over to him. I threw my arms around him and squeezed him until he couldn’t breathe.

“She’d be twenty-three,” I said leaning against him. “And most likely drunk off her ass.” Toby tightened his arms around me. We stayed like that for awhile. It hurts to talk

about her but that is what keeps her alive in us. “She knows we love her.”

“We should have a little party,” Peyton said, breaking the silence. “After court.”

“Don’t say that too loud. My dad might hear,” I teased.

Not a second later, there’s a knock on the door and it’s Dad. Everyone burst out laughing as I opened the door and let him in.

“I’m getting ready,” I said. “Give me twenty minutes.”



- 21 -



Walking out of the courtroom felt like I got hit in the chest with a metal bat and then got burned alive. The trial is on hold because Jared Kempt and Kenneth Castillo said they

would plead guilty only if they spoke to me and only me. Now I’m walking toward a room where they’re being held.

f-ucking A.

Just one more flight of stairs and I’ll know what the hell they want.

“Rebeckah!” Mrs. Williams yelled, running toward me and the guard beside me. “You’re not getting away with this! You killed her!”

The guard started talking to her, trying to keep her from me, but she broke free and she rammed her thin body into mine. This wouldn’t have been a problem if I wasn’t standing at

the top of the stairs.

I only know that I screamed.

I threw my arms out but I couldn’t grab anything.

I fell.

Everything blurred.

***

“It’s nice here, isn’t it?” Alice said grabbing my hand. It is because she’s here. We’re in our old dorm room. The beds are unmade, clothes are everywhere, and our laptops are

on the floor. I have to clean it. I can’t have a mess. I got up to get started but Ali held me back. “Leave it. I’ll do it.”

“How?” I asked.

She smiled and laced her fingers through mine. “I’m dead not stupid.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “And you need to wake up. Everyone is worried.”

What if I don’t want to wake up? I’m here. With Alice.

What about Logan?

“Why are you here?” I love that she is but I’m scared. If I see her does that mean…

“Don’t be scared,” Alice said turning my face to her. “You’re not hurt. I mean, not enough to die. You have your whole life to live, Becka. Don’t give up now.” As her slender

fingers ran over my wrist, tears slid down my cheeks. “I don’t hate you for doing this. I wish I was with you so this never could’ve happened.”

Me too.

Losing her…

“Al, did you love me?” I asked, my voice cracking. Like really love me. The way…the way I love Logan. I don’t know if she just had fun with me.

“You know I did,” she smirked. “Always.”

She tapped my wrist and I stared at the tattoo.

I love you. Always.

“No, Alice. I mean it,” I said. “You can tell me.”

Her eyes held mine for the longest time but she remained silent.

“The boyfriend seems nice. He loves you.” That’s not what I asked. “And he’s f-ucking sexy. Don’t let him get away.” Al laughed and held her stomach when she couldn’t

control herself.

“What?” I asked, trying to understand why my best friend is going crazy on me.

She looked at me with wet eyes. I miss her. I miss her so much and I don’t want this to end. She’ll be gone.

“Becka, he’s going to be twenty-four in August,” she said. I smiled because I know what she’s talking about. “Now wake up and tell him how you feel.”

Alice pecked my lips quickly then she was gone.



***

I was laughing. And it hurt. That means one thing.

I opened my eyes and found everyone staring at me with a confused look. I’m still laughing and I can’t stop. Alice pointed something out to me that I never gave much thought to

after the night she died. Logan will be twenty-four in August. It’s the perfect age. The irony of this is not lost on me. My best friend died because we wanted to f-uck twenty-

four-year-olds.

“Becka?” My eyes found Toby and my laughter turned to silent giggles.

“I saw her,” I said. “Alice.”

I glanced around me. I’m on a stretcher, outside of the courthouse, with people surrounding me. The EMT’s must think I’m f-ucking insane. I am.

Toby glanced around the area then locked eyes on me.

“What did she say?” he asked. This is why I love him. I just told him I saw his dead sister and he’s not calling me crazy.

“In August, Logan will be the perfect age,” I said.

Toby smiled and walked over to the stretcher. “Sounds like her,” he said kissing my forehead. “Now, don’t ever f-ucking do that shit again. Your heart stopped, Becka. Just now.