Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(74)

While she lightly stroked my chest, I pressed my lips against her head. “Don’t be scared, Kat. If you fall, I’ll catch you. I always have and I always will. Except, this time I’m never going to let you go.”

I could see where this was leading. It didn’t take a fool to figure it out. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stop her if she initiated it. All it would take was a kiss, and I’d be giving her all of me. I tried to stay calm under the covers with her so close. It was impossible, and she knew it too. This wasn’t a game we were playing. In my heart she was mine. I really didn’t care about a piece of paper. She should have known that. For Christ sakes, I slept with her the night before she was supposed to marry my brother. There was obviously no limits when it came to being with her.

I just hoped that when it did happen, she stuck around, because nothing could hurt more than losing both of them. I wanted to believe that this was our forever, but I was still petrified it wouldn’t be.





Chapter 36


For a while Kat laid against my chest, playing with my dog-tags. She kept tracing my name, saying nothing in the quiet of the room. I rubbed her back, offering her time to think about everything going on in her life. I wondered what she was thinking about. I considered asking her, but knew when she was ready she’d talk about it.

There was a lot of things that hadn’t been addressed. At some point she was going to want to know about every detail of my life when we were apart. I wondered if I should tell her about Mullins, Anderson, and even Spence. They’d been my friends when I felt the most alone.

It wasn’t like I didn’t want to know about Kat’s life. I knew she had friends that I hadn’t met. She talked highly of them in some of her letters. She was a member of a church and even volunteered as the Sunday school teacher.

We’d both grown and experienced things that made us who we were. At some point we’d have to tell each other everything. For now I was more worried about getting through one day at a time. Bobby would be out of jail by morning, and with that I knew I’d have to figure out where they’d be safe from him.

Kat was probably going to want to take matters into her own hands, but this time she wasn’t going to have a choice. My mind was made up. I loved her, and I was going to make sure she knew the depths of it while I did everything in my power to keep her protected.

I knew my coming back into her life was a huge game-changer. It wasn’t only an adjustment for me. Every aspect of her life was about to change. My prayers had been answered even if it wasn’t how I expected them to be. I’d never wish for her to be abused by her husband. I didn’t even ask God to help me break them up. I’d only prayed that one day I’d be able to hold her again. It was never about the sex with Kat. I felt my happiness when she was in my arms.

While the tension in the room increased, I was left to control the growing urgency between my legs. Time had made it impossible to control. I needed her, so much that I was afraid to ask, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if she rejected me.

I’d wanted her for so long. Now we were here, in a hotel room, with our daughter sleeping on the bed beside us. I’d lived every moment for this, and even though I was desperately trying to hold onto some composure, every single inch she moved made it unbearable. That’s why when she looked up into my eyes I had to lick my lips. I didn’t mean it in a sexual way, but looking at her mouth and remembering what it felt like to kiss her left me needing what I knew I shouldn’t ask for, at least not yet.

All of a sudden everything around us disappeared. I stared deeply into her eyes, feeling the power of our connection leading us without effort.

“I love you.” The words were so softly spoken when they came from her mouth. They were still so powerful; enough to break me.

I adjusted myself on the bed to be able to place my hands on either side of her face. I needed her to show me how much because dammit I’d waited forever for it. “You were worth the wait.” Nothing could have prepared me for what it would feel like to kiss her for the first time after so long. I’d been staring at her lips for days, patiently waiting to have the chance to taste them again.

Our kiss, so powerful, paved the path for what was to come, both of us knowing there was no turning back. Kat and I both knew where we were headed. I didn’t have the power to stop her, not when her touch was like an electric jolt to my heart.

In that moment she wasn’t married, and we hadn’t spent the past two years apart. We were lost in each other, right back to where we left off in that hotel room where we made B.

While our tongues mingled so perfectly together, I felt her hands coursing over my skin, pulling me closer. Her hunger for me was ravenous, and I wasted no time reassuring her of any doubts she might be experiencing. My hand slipped down between her legs, feeling the fabric of the other thing standing from me being able to feel her warm * in my hand.

I kept rubbing her, appreciating the fact that she was rocking her body at the same time. I took ahold of her ass, pulling her on top of me. The blanket and sheet slipped down, revealing her naked breasts for me to see. She wasn’t being shy anymore. No, Kat was ready to bare it all. I could see it in her eyes and feel it in the way she was rocking those hips.

She leaned forward, bringing her lips to mine again, letting me suck on them before tracing my tongue over hers. She teased me with that tongue, licking mine and then pulling away. I pulled her closer, kissing her deeply. My intentions were obvious.