Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(73)

She got all defensive. “It’s not that.”

She shimmied off her shorts and then took her bra off without lifting the t-shirt. It was so weird. I didn’t get why she was hiding what I’d obviously seen before. I mean, the child in the bed next to her was proof of that. It had been a while since I’d seen her naked, but a body like hers wasn’t easily forgotten. “Since when did you get shy?”

“Would you stop?” I liked getting under her skin, especially when it was over something so silly. She was so cute, yet vulnerable at the same time. It made me continue to smile even though it was clearly supposed to be a serious moment.

Even after she climbed into the other bed I continued laughing at her. She tossed a pillow at me as if it was going to get me to stop.

“Sorry, I saw this going a little differently,” I joked.

“I’m not sleeping with you, Brooks. I just left my husband.” She was so serious about it. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was only teasing.

She would assume that from me. I guess in some ways, she should have. It was taking everything in me to not invite her into my arms. “I never asked you, did I?”

“Whatever.” She started to turn to face the opposite direction, like I annoyed her. I kept staring, waiting for her to make another smart remark. After a few seconds I realized she had no plans to face me again.

“Look at me, woman.”

Her dirty look only made me want to tease her more. It was obvious I’d gotten under her skin. “What?”

I brought my feet up and sat on the edge of my bed facing her. Thinking nothing of it, Kat froze, staring at my naked chest. At first I thought she’d just realized I taken off my shirt. Then it hit me. I’d had it for so long that it was just a part of me.

I looked down at my tattoo and touched it. The K was obviously for Kat, and I’d had it placed there for a reason. “Oh, this. I should probably explain. I guess I got it so long ago that I forgot you’ve never seen it.”

“When? Is that… Did you…” She couldn’t get her words out. Her eyes were stuck on that one area.

I sighed before replying. “Kat, my heart belongs to you. It’s not a secret. I got this done when I first went to Afghanistan. We’d just shared that night in the hotel room, and even though you’d left me I still loved you the same. I guess some people would call me stupid, but I just knew you were the one. I was going to put it over my heart. Instead, I put it here,” I pointed to the area, “Because the moment you walked out of my life I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

Her hand came up and covered her face as she sat there in shock. “I don’t know what to say.”

I looked down at the tattoo, and then over toward our daughter. “Now, looking at what we made that night melts my heart even more.”

Kat had to peer away. She now knew that I’d carried so much of her with me every day. “Brooks.” Her whisper was so slow, like she was falling out of consciousness.

“Come here,” I ordered.

She shook her head, refusing me. “I can’t.” I respected her decision, but refused to let it be her final answer.

I reached over and placed my hand gently on her leg. “Close your eyes.”

Once I got her to stand, I pulled her over to my bed. She halted me, opening her eyes to see how close we were. “I can’t do this, Brooks. It’s wrong.”

I grabbed the edge of my t-shirt and pulled her in the rest of the way until our lips were touching. “I’m not stealing from him when you were never his to begin with. You didn’t belong to Branch and you sure as hell don’t belong to Bobby. A piece of paper isn’t love. Close your eyes and tell me you don’t feel it again? Tell me that you haven’t thought of that night we spent together every single day since it happened? If you don’t want this, then back up and go to sleep.”

I didn’t move my mouth from grazing over hers. I could feel her body shaking. It was just as intense for me. I’d kept this all bottled up, and now, being in this room with her, I couldn’t keep from touching her. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for me to sleep in a tiny bed for two years, wishing I was wherever she was, holding her all through the night. Dreams of her is what kept me going. I’d thought about this moment so many times. I couldn’t wait any longer. My patience was running thin. She needed to be in my bed.

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

I stood up, staring down at her while I tugged my own t-shirt over her head. She kept her eyes fixed on mine while I backed us up onto my bed.

There was only a pair of underwear keeping her from being completely naked. I didn’t look down because honestly I didn’t need to. I’d memorized every inch of her years ago. Kissing her would have been easy, though I didn’t allow it to happen, not yet. I took my time, leading her under the covers with me, pulling her against my chest. She was still trembling, reminding how fragile this moment was between us. Years of pent up emotions were brewing between us. Words weren’t needed because we both knew what the other was feeling.

I held her tight in my arms, silently promising myself that I’d never let her slip away again. I wanted to keep her safe, to protect her from the ugliness and give her a reason to smile again, each and every day for the rest of our lives. Just like when we were kids, I held her close, giving her the comfort she needed to get by another day.