Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(78)

It was obvious that I was close. My hands held Kat’s shoulders, silently praying she’d get the hint and slow up. Eventually I had to surrender myself over to her. I could feel it happening, my pent up release filling her. I clung to her body holding her close while I lost control. My heart started to beat in my head, I was desperate for air. Then finally I was done, lethargic, and satiated.

We were far from being done, but Kat gave me time to recuperate. Little did she know that I had plans for our next encounter. Just because this first time was more about me didn’t mean she wouldn’t be generously awarded.

We laid there together on the bed, panting and grasping for air to fill our empty lungs. Our hands were laced together, and I wasn’t even about to let her go.

I held her close, but appreciated the way she traced her fingers against my tattoo. As if she needed another reminder, I felt it important to keep giving her one.

“No regrets, Kat.”

“No regrets.”

It was so late, and I had every intention of giving her a second round of my undivided attention, but sleep seemed to get the best of me. I tried to fight it, only to feel my eyelids winning the battle.

I only woke up because I noticed she was gone. Of course right away I feared she’d packed up and left me there, that’s how scared I was of losing her. It wasn’t until I sat up and looked over at the other bed that I realized everything was just as it was before. B was sound asleep, and the sound of the bathroom fan let me know where Kat was. I stood and put my boxers on, just in case the little one were to wake up. I didn’t want to scare her with my private parts. Daddy or not, I wasn’t ready for that situation where I had to explain why I looked different than her mother.

I cracked the bathroom door open to find Kat standing in front of the mirror. She had her head down and was clearly freaking out about something. At first I worried that she regretted sleeping with me. Maybe I should have waited. Yes, of course I should have held out. What was wrong with me?

“You alright? You better not be in here crying, thinking of a way to escape.” I said it like I was joking, but was really trying to feel her out.

When she didn’t answer at first I made a sound with my mouth.

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere. I came in here to get cleaned up, that’s all.”

I hugged her body and kissed her softly. She wasn’t in here to clean up. Something was up with her. I wanted the truth. “I know you better than you know yourself. What is it, Kat?”

She handed me a calendar, making me wonder what the hell it meant. It was the middle of the night. My mind wasn’t on technical things. I couldn’t figure out her secret way of communicating. Then it finally hit me. “Are you kidding me?” I ran my hand through my hair once it finally hit me. Apparently we couldn’t fornicate without the risk of becoming pregnant. “Again?”

She put her hands up as if it was very possible. “So I’m thinking that if we stay together, we may need a school bus to cart all the kids in.”

I pulled her back into my arms, reassuring her that no matter what we’d figure it out. In all honesty I’d be happy if she ended up pregnant. If she thought I was going to use protection with her she had another thing coming. There was nothing keeping me from having all of her, not even another kid. “Don’t freak out yet, Kat. It’s not like it’s a definite. You’ve got enough to worry about. I refuse to wear a rubber with you. I never have and I never will.”

She jerked out of my arms and looked up at me. “Jesus, what if I got pregnant back then?” I knew she was referring to when we were in high school.

I threw up my hands, trying to figure out how to word this so she wouldn’t be pissed. “Hold up. In my defense both times I went into your room it wasn’t to have sex with you. You begged me for it.”

She answered like it embarrassed her. “I didn’t know it was you!”

I cornered her, making sure she was paying close attention. “You wanted it to be me, Kat. Deep down you had to question why it was different.”

“How do you know it was?” Oh yeah, she went there.

I laughed before I could reply. “Because there ain’t no way my brother can make you cum like I can.”

She blushed. It was quite obvious too.

“Am I right?”

Her smile was cute, like she knew admitting to it was like saying she liked being bad. “Yes. You’re right. Although, I didn’t think it was you. I just thought he was being sensitive of my feelings.”

“Did you ever pretend he was me?”

“Stop, Brooks. Being with Branch was a mistake. He cost us a lot, and I don’t want to think about a single second I wasted on him.”

I took her hand in mine and kissed it softly. “I’m kidding with you. We were kids, Kat. Do you know how scared I was to face you the morning after I’d been in your room? I thought for sure you’d mention it to Branch and he’d come and try to kick my ass.”

She giggled. “I did mention it. Both times I thanked him for being so good to me. He seemed weird, but never said a thing. When I think about it, I see how awful that was.”

This left me in hysterics. How could my brother have been so stupid? “What a loser. He had his head so far up his own ass that he didn’t know you were making love to me across the hall.”