Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(76)

My decisions were going to have to be rushed because time was of the essence. My girls needed stability, and I’d figure out a way to make it happen, even if I had to send them back home to D.C. to make sure they got it.

B was restless again, kicking around on the bed. When she readjusted I watched Kat open her eyes. She noticed that I was awake almost immediately. Her smile was contagious, while her intentions tempted me, causing me to react immediately, once I’d caught on to what she was insinuating. Where her body had been, sat a pillow. I watched her, still topless, walk over to the other bed and climb on top.

With little effort I slid off the mattress and tucked the covers so B couldn’t wiggle around. By the time I made it to Kat she’d already scooted over to give me room. I pulled her back to rest on my chest, instantly getting sweaty as I did it.

I brought my chin down and kissed her shoulder. Just as I suspected that she was only going back to sleep, she moved enough to get me curious. I whispered sweet words in her ear. “I love you so much, Kat.”

After my comment, it was quite obvious that we weren’t going back to sleep, not yet at least. Kat wasn’t asking me to stop either. I could tell we were on the same page. It was as if we were picking up exactly where we left off before B woke. This time I was prepared. I longed to be with her this way, because let’s face it, I’d waited entirely too many years to feel her body again.

My hands traveled up her abdomen until they were right under her nipples. I peered down over her shoulder and saw them exposed, beckoning to be touched. As I became aware of what was growing between my legs, Kat shimmied her body back, making it known that she was fully aware.

She turned her body around, staring me right in the eyes. I leaned closer, pressing my lips against hers. As she pulled away she spoke softly, asking me for something I’d never been able to refuse her. “Make love to me, Brooks.”

I had to be sure. “You said we couldn’t.”

Damn if she didn’t lean forward and tease my lips with her tongue. “Don’t you want me?” She whispered.

“Don’t be stupid, Kat. You don’t know how hard it is for me to hold back from what I really want. I just can’t have you walking out on me like before. There’s too much at stake here. If waiting will help you stick to your decision, it’s worth it to me.” In my defense I was saying what I figured to be the right thing. There was nothing I wanted more than to make love to her.

When she answered I knew she meant it. Her eyes never left mine, and I could have sworn that she was almost smiling. “All I want is us, forever. I won’t be changing my mind or abandoning you. If you think we should wait, I’ll respect your decision, but we’re here, naked in this room. You love me and I love you. I’ve made a ton of mistakes, but there’s one thing that I’ve done right in my life, and that’s loving you. Brooks, look at me and tell me that you think I’m going to let you go again. Look over at that little girl who loves you after knowing you for only a few days and tell me that I’d be so heartless as to take her away from you.”

I couldn’t do that. I knew she wouldn’t hurt me in that way, not ever again.

“Point taken. You can’t blame me for being scared, Kat. I’ve lost you so many times, and I know that if it happened again, this time it would end me. I couldn’t live with knowing that you and B were out there and I couldn’t be with you. That’s why I want everything to be right this time.”

I pulled her closer, making sure we were skin to skin as we discussed this. I wanted to remind her what was waiting just below the blankets.

Kat seemed even more determined to convince me that this was real.

“I’ll wait for you, Brooks, just like you waited for me.”

I was her puppet, just waiting to be controlled. She could do whatever she wanted to me as long as she didn’t leave this bed. “Yeah, I’m not real sure waiting is the best decision.” I rubbed my erection against her smooth thigh. “I figure I’ve got two choices. I can go in the bathroom and take care of this myself, like I’ve gotten pretty used to doing, or I can be with the woman that I’ve waited almost three years to be with again.”

“Seems like a really hard decision.” The way she said it made me chuckle.

There was no doubt in my mind that we were about to get it on. I was all giddy just imagining where to touch first. “Yeah.” I ran her hand over my crotch. “What do you think?”

When I let go of her hand, she didn’t stop touching me. In fact, she dug down inside of the elastic band of my boxers and ran her fingers over my hardness. “I think that if you don’t make love to me, I’m going to have to beg.” She was massaging me, watching my eyes close. “Do you think about that night as much as I do? I want to feel it again; that connection that took us to places neither of us knew existed.”

If she kept talking I was going to explode. I didn’t need to think about that night because we had new memories to make. We belonged together, and I was going to remind her of it, once again in a hotel room.

We kissed again, this time letting our lips and tongue tantalize one another. The more we did it, the harder it was to stop. I was so hungry for her kiss that I reached to make it happen. “If I told you how much I’ve thought about you, I may scare you away. It’s borderline stalking.”