Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(70)

When I was finished I rolled her over and kissed her forehead. “All fixed.”

She smiled, probably because she was glad it was over. “Thanks.”

We were both still sitting on the same bed. In this moment I felt like I needed some things answered. “Bobby knew you were still in love with me, didn’t he?”

She never looked away when she answered, making her words even more powerful. “Yeah, he did.”

This was another reason why I wasn’t going anywhere.





Chapter 34


I couldn’t believe she’d told her husband how she felt about me. It was no wonder he felt so threatened when I was around. “Kat, you really told him you loved me?”

“It was never a secret. He knew it when he met me. He was the person that held me when I cried about you. He was there for me when I had B, knowing that I didn’t love him. He asked me to marry him and said that he knew I wasn’t over you. After some time I came to love Bobby, but he’ll never be you. I thought I learned that after the Branch fiasco, but obviously I can’t learn from my mistakes, because here I am married to another man that I’m trying to convince myself to fall in love with.”

I knew she’d struggled. We both had. It was hard to imagine my pain and think of hers.

“I’m not the saint you picture me to be, Kat. I’ve seen and done things that I’m not proud of. Living in another country was hard. Sometimes I needed the comfort of a woman. It never meant much to me, but sometimes it helped with my sleep problems. You keep punishing yourself for the things you’ve done, but I don’t see those things are all that bad. You ran from the family because you thought you tore us all apart. Don’t you see that it wasn’t you? It was me. I did it. I was the one that took you to my bed that night. It was selfish, and could have been done the right way, years before. I wanted to hurt Branch. I wanted to shove your love for me right in his face, because after all that time, I was tired of him having what should have been mine all along. I knew that being with you would ruin your engagement and I went for it out of spite.”

This conversation was getting deep. I was imagining it going to other places, but kept telling myself that it was way too soon to assume she’d even be okay with it.

“I suppose this all could have been avoided if we knew how to communicate with each other.” She didn’t know how right she was. Not a day went by where I didn’t regret my decisions.

I laughed at my stupidity. “Yeah. Probably.”

I took her hand and kissed it, gently, becoming overwhelmed by the simplest touch. Immediately she responded to it. “Brooks, what do you want to happen now? I mean, once I figure out how to get a separation and file for divorce, which I am sure I’m doing, what do you want to happen? Can we be best friends again after all this time?” There it was. She’d used the friend word. I couldn’t take it. I’d waited far too long to have all of her, and it was time she knew exactly where I stood.

I got closer, placing my arm to be around her shoulder. Our eyes were fixed on each other. “Kat, I can’t be your friend. I’m sorry, but I can’t be that person anymore.” She burst into tears. I took her chin and lifted it so she’d look at me again. “What are you crying for?”

“I don’t know. I guess I keep feeling like even after everything we’ve been through, we could run off and live happily ever after. It’s stupid, I know. I thought that after the past few days we’d never want to let each other go again.”

It was hard to hide the smile forming on my face because it was huge. “I don’t want to be your friend because I need more than that. Open your eyes woman. I want to be your everything. I always have.”

Kat’s arms came around my back while her head plopped down on my chest. “Why didn’t you just say that? I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Jesus. I’m alone in a hotel with you and our daughter. Can you name one other place in the world I’d rather be?” I kissed her head and kept my face there. “I’ll wait as long as it takes to get things sorted out with Bobby. As of right now, whose name is on the birth certificate as B’s father?”

“You.”

That was beyond shocking, yet another reason why the guy was freaking out. All along he’d known there was nothing stopping me from being a part of my child’s life. “That’s good to know.”

“I told you that I never kept it a secret from anyone here.”

Just then B woke up, looking around the room as if she was scared. “Mama.”

I watched Kat hold her arms out. Our daughter made her way over and climbed on top of her. We were all three so close together. In spite of the situation, I was in heaven. This was what I’d survived to see. This was what I fought so hard to come home to.

“B do you know who this is?” Kat asked.

She nodded.

“Do you know his name?”

“Books.”

We both laughed. “Sweetie, Brooks is your daddy.”

B was confused. Her face curled up like she was about to cry. It broke my heart. “No. He not.”

I wouldn’t let this break me. I had her whole life to convince her of who I was. “Come here, kiddo. Let me show you something.”