Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(65)

“You don’t want the truth.”

I looked away, feeling as if she’d given her heart away. It hurt to imagine. “I think you just said it.”

I knew it was time to take her home. I couldn’t sit there and wish for something that was never going to come true. I didn’t speak again until we reached the house. “So tomorrow, can I come by the same time?”

“Yeah. It’s Sunday. We usually go to church, but we’re back before one. You can come over anytime after that.” She was very rehearsed, almost professional as she spoke to me.

“And you’re going to tell Bobby about my parents coming?” I didn’t want another fight happening because of me. This time it wouldn’t be my fault since she’d offered.

“Yes, but just so you know, the house is mine. I had it built when I was separated from Bobby. It was part of my trust money. I own it free and clear.”

I was happy for her. Her parents would have wanted that. “I should have known you’d spend it wisely. Your mom and dad would be happy about that.”

“I think so too. They’d want B to have a home that she loved. I always loved where we lived. The only hard part was watching another child moving in after they were gone. Hopefully B won’t have to deal with something so tragic.”

I agreed, “Yeah. You don’t have to worry about me going anywhere. Due to my injury, I’m no use in the field. All I do nowadays is train recruits on procedures. I feel more like a school teacher than a soldier.”

“You’re safe. That’s all I care about.” It felt nice to hear she cared.

She looked away, probably so I couldn’t read her like I was constantly trying to do. “It’s going to be nice seeing you again every day. I really missed you.”

She touched my arm again. “I missed you, too.”

It was hard to pull in the driveway knowing that I was saying goodbye. A part of me wanted to take them hostage and keep them for myself in some undisclosed location. I know it sounded crazy, but my mind wasn’t really on a sane level.

After I managed to unhook my little girl, I hugged her close to my body, kissing her on the head. “I love you, bug.”

Kat was quiet as I handed my sleeping beauty over to her. It was hard knowing they were going inside with her husband. It should have been me, and I think she knew it too. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I swore something was off about her. I kept chalking it up to us having had a nice night together, but she was giving off vibes that she didn’t want to go inside and deal with her husband. I wondered if he’d said something about this whole situation that rubbed her the wrong way. Knowing Kat like I did, I figured she’d tell me if it was important enough to be concerned about.

I looked toward her while wishing I was still holding my daughter. Our eyes met one more time, and I couldn’t help from keeping them fixed there. God, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to be the one that she called when she was having a bad day, and the shoulder she cried on when she just couldn’t take anymore stress.

I didn’t mean to dislike her husband, but he was taking my place. He was doing my job, and I’m not just talking about in the bedroom. He had every bit of her that counted, well every bit except one thing, and as the words came out of her mouth I suddenly knew why she seemed so worried about going inside.

“I meant every word that I wrote in those letters, Brooks. I could never completely give my heart away, not when it was with you the whole time.” Kat’s last statement to me wasn’t just a shocker. It had left me wondering what I could do to make it all possible for us. She still loved me, so much that she’d just admitted her husband didn’t have that part of her, because it belonged to me.

I stood there wondering what I should do or say. Obviously we were in a complicated situation. She was married by law. I’d promised the man that I wouldn’t interfere in their marriage, yet every part of me wanted to. I didn’t know how to handle it.

I watched her walk inside before getting into my truck. Even after I’d pulled out of the driveway my mind was still on those words. I considered myself a strong man, but it took more willpower than I had to not turn back around and take what was mine.

As a kid, I’d always had to share. Doing so caused me to lose the one thing in life I wanted for myself. I’d been down this road before, and it had ended badly. While driving I wondered if my mistake was fighting for her, or doing nothing at all.

To say I was high on life would have been an understatement. I was in love with two girls, one of which I helped create. Thinking about them made me smile. I felt alive, and overwhelmed with optimism. My future would always consist of my daughter. Even if I couldn’t be with Kat the way I wanted, nothing would prevent me from spending every second with my little bug, not even her husband. That child had my name, and I knew there was no way Kat would allow him to put a stop to my visitations. Still, I felt like the next topic we talked about was going to have to be custody. I didn’t want a big court battle, but I felt as if I needed to have it documented. If this guy felt threatened, there was no telling what he’d do to keep me away. The worst part of it all was the fact that he needed to feel that way, because it was clear after one day I was definitely a threat, even to myself.

I knew it was wrong, but I still wanted her for myself. Married or not.

I wouldn’t cross any lines, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it.