Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(61)

I got up in her face, like I did when were kids. “Don’t go there. You kept the secret from me.”

“We weren’t even talking!” She reiterated.

“Because you walked out on me, on us.” I wasn’t at fault.

“Because you were too much of a * to admit that you were in love with me the whole time.”

The room was silent. This hurt me. “Kat, you knew how I felt,” I whispered.

She shook her head, denying it. “No. I didn’t.” Her hands went up in the air. “We’ve both made mistakes and maybe mine were worse. I can’t change the past. I can’t change that I spent years with your brother. I can’t change the fact that I ran away from what we had, and I certainly can’t change having our daughter and finding someone to take care of us when you weren’t around. You didn’t have to join the military, Brooks. You could have fought for us too.”

I clenched my jaw and tightened my mouth. This was making me frustrated. “I need to leave.”

As I started walking toward my truck she spoke again. “You were always good at walking away.”

This pissed me off. I hadn’t run from her. I ran because she wanted someone else. “I refuse to do this with you tonight, Kat. I’m mad and I need to take some time to calm down. I have a shift in the morning, but I can be here around three. Have my daughter dressed and ready to go.”

“You’re not taking her without me.” Was she going to try to control me?

I put my hands in the air. “Great! Why don’t you invite your husband so we can be one big happy family?”

“I don’t know why I ever loved you!”

Her words made me laugh. She was full of shit. “I feel the same way,” I lied.

I made it halfway down the driveway before my words started to haunt me. I couldn’t do this with Kat. I couldn’t tell her things to make myself feel better. We had to move forward, instead of dwelling on what we couldn’t change.

I backed up my truck and got out, walking until we were face to face. “Take it back.”

Her hands went to her hips as she held her ground. “No!”

I scratched my head, giving myself a second to think of what to say. “You see, I can’t go to bed mad, so I’m not leaving until you take it back.”

She crossed her arms and huffed. “I guess you’re going to be standing here for a while then.”

“You know, I could be a real dick right now if I wanted to be.”

“Who said you aren’t already?” Her cocked eyebrow made me want to smile. I missed this about her. I missed everything about her.

“Some things never change, I see.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can’t lie to my face. You never could.”

Finally she surrendered. “Fine! I don’t wish I never loved you. Are you happy now?”

That was enough for me to walk away. Above anything else, Kat was back in my life, and we had a child together. For the next fifty years she’d be stuck dealing with me whether she wanted to or not. “Our daughter is beautiful, Kat, just like I always knew our kids would be. Have her ready tomorrow. I’ll be here at three thirty, and we’re going out, with or without you.”

My drive back to the base was thought consuming. I had a reason to live again.

Two reasons.

Kat and Brooklyn.





Chapter 30


It was difficult to sleep when I was so wired about meeting my daughter. I laid there all night staring up at the ceiling, wondering what I should do next. I was going to need to find a bigger place that I could bring her to. Eventually she’d stay overnight with me, so she’d need her own room. I’d have to get toys, and even clothes. I’d have to learn how to change diapers, and what little girls needed. I’d have to get special soaps, and shampoo that didn’t burn her eyes. I’d need a car seat, and probably one of those strollers.

I needed to know when she was born, and what she’d want for her birthday. All of these ideas were popping in my head at once. It was both amazing and scary at the same time.

When the sun came up, I realized I’d spent most of the night worried. It was harder to go to my office when all I wanted to do was see my little girl again. Already I missed her.

While at my desk, I called my parents house. I don’t know what I was planning to say because it happened so quick. I guess my conscious was making decisions for me. As soon as my mom got on the line I stuttered to find words to tell her what had happened. Instead of spilling the beans over a phone call, I decided it was best if I invited them to come visit. When we were all together, I’d let them meet their grand child. I’m sure they were going to have a ton of questions, mostly for Kat. I just needed to get her on board with the idea.

Later, I checked the internet for apartments and small houses. I talked to my commander about possibly moving into a bigger place on base and finally explained why. He gave me good advice, having been a dad himself. He even seemed to be sympathetic when I explained my whole situation.

By noon I was ready to explode. I kept playing with my keys, anxious to get in my truck and head over to see my girl. I wondered if I should have brought a gift this time, or maybe that was too much. I didn’t want to seem like I was buying my way in.