Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(58)

“Don’t you want to hear about her?” I couldn’t believe she was asking that. Did she think I was kicking her out of my office because I couldn’t accept that I had a child? This woman was clearly insane.

I could feel the hot tears rushing down my face, but did nothing to wipe them away. She needed to see how much this was killing me. She needed to know that I would probably never be able to get past this. I wanted to hate her even though I knew it was never possible. “How could you keep this from me and our family? God, how could you do this to me? She’s got to be two by now. You’re telling me that I’ve had a child for two years and never known? You were pregnant for nine months and never thought to get in touch with me? I would have taken care of you. I would have wanted to know and you should be ashamed for not telling me.”

She fell to her knees in front of me, breaking down more. I watched as she covered her face in shame, but felt nothing to console her. She didn’t deserve it. This woman had single handedly ruined me to no end. She’d taken everything that I cherished and tossed it away like a dirty rag. I was done talking. The sooner she was gone the sooner I could figure out what would come next.

I threw her phone down in front of her. “Get out of my face before I say something I’ll regret.”

Kat ran out, saying nothing else. I was sure people in the building saw her, but I wasn’t about to walk out into the hallway and face them. I knew I had to keep my composure above all. I had to set an example. Trainees couldn’t see their superior weak.

For the next hour I sat at my desk crying like a baby. Nothing that entered my mind could alleviate the emptiness I felt in my heart. I thought about that little girl and all the memories that were stolen from me. I imagine her growing up not knowing me, and it was torturous. I couldn’t begin to understand how I was going to explain this to my parents. They deserved to know as much as I did.



I have no idea what fueled me to do it, but before I could rationalize with my decision I was driving to Kat’s house. Our conversation wasn’t done. There was so much more to figure out. If she thought I was going to step aside and not want to be a part of my child’s life she was wrong.

The fact that I’d sent her away only left me with more questions than I had answers to. From this moment on I was going to be a part of that child’s life.

When I pulled into the driveway I recognized that Kat’s husband was pulling in behind me. As angry as I was, it didn’t even occur to me that he might not have known we’d been in contact. It didn’t take a genius to see the pain in his own eyes when we came face to face.

Without a single thought I held out my hand as he walked over to my truck. “Hi, my name is Brooks, Brooks Valentine.”

He gave me a once-over before extending his hand and shaking mine. “I had a feeling this was going to happen.”

“Sorry to just show up. To be honest with you, I don’t even know what made me come. I… I saw Kat a little while ago.”

Before I could fully explain he answered for me. “I guess she told you everything, otherwise I don’t see why you’d be here, knocking on our door. So what’s next? You’re here, but why? Are you going to take them away from me?”

I couldn’t understand why he was asking me that. Had Kat told him that she’d leave him now that she knew I was alive? “I’m not here for that.”

“Yeah, maybe not yet,” he replied.

Once inside of the house it was apparent he was freaking out. I could tell he was upset, but wasn’t sure if it was with me or Kat. “She didn’t tell me to come.”

“I get it, man. If it were my kid I’d do the same thing. That little girl is pretty special. I’ve done my best for the both of them.”

“I appreciate that, but I’m not here to cause trouble.” I started to give him reassurance, but we both noticed a car pulling into the driveway. My stomach knotted up when I heard footsteps coming up the porch stairs. Her husband pointed to the kitchen chair. “Have a seat. I’m sure you’re going to need to.”

I sat down and watched him doing the same across from me. It was quite obvious this man was not okay with my visit though I didn’t care. I’d been kept away from my child for two years. I’d missed out on every first. I deserved to know her, and I wasn’t leaving until I did.

While I watched the child standing right in front of me, staring at me with my same eyes, I heard Kat’s husband speaking.

“Brooks was here when I pulled up. He told me about your visit today and I thought it seemed right that we all get everything out in the open.”

God it was so difficult to contain my emotions. She was beautiful, perfect, and from that instant I knew she was mine. Her smile was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen in my life. I was captivated by her, unable to look away. “Is it okay if I say hello?”

“She’s your daughter, too.”

I got down on my knees in front of her, trying my best not to cry and freak her out. Just before I said hello, I watched Kat’s husband fly out of the room. This was too much for him to handle. I didn’t want to be in his shoes. I couldn’t even begin to understand what this must be like for him. He loved this little girl, and I was a threat.

“Hi, pretty girl,” I said with a shaky voice.

It took her a few seconds to decide if she could trust me. Then she reached her hand up an touched my face. I felt her palm rubbing over my cheek; her soft skin coming in contact with mine for the first time.