Love Survives (Love's Suicide #2)(59)

It was all too much to take. This was my baby. This little stranger was my flesh and blood. How could Kat keep her from me? I began to break down in front of the both of them. It was all too much for me to grasp.

I pulled the little girl into my arms and held her there close to me, smelling her hair and memorizing it in my mind. She wasn’t only perfect, but in a matter of seconds I’d experienced a kind of love that was new and unconditional. Our immediate connection left me speechless. I wasn’t just hurt, I was also overwhelmed with happiness. Never again would I be alone. This child was a part of me, and I would never deny that. From this moment on, I was always going to be there for her, no matter what I had to do to make it happen.

At some point Kat got down on her knees and touched my back, but I refused to give her my attention. She’d taken too much. “I know you’ll never forgive me, Brooks. I never meant to hurt you, I swear.” I could hear her crying. I wanted to care, but my grudge wouldn’t allow it.

When I finally gained enough courage to face her I held my little girl close to my chest. “How could you keep her from me? Why, Kat?”

It was excruciating. My throat burned as I continued to weep. I knew the child was probably freaking out, but I refused to let her down. I was afraid if I let her go, she’d run away.

Kat left the room. I looked up to watch her disappearing. I then heard a door shutting and knew she was probably addressing her husband. For the life of me I couldn’t even imagine how this was going to play out. Kat had a lot to explain, and it wasn’t going to be easy. She’d made a mess of things. I could hear them arguing in the other room. It was obvious that he hadn’t been told she was coming to see me. Kat was pleading, which only made me feel like she loved him. I was interfering in what her husband thought was their perfect family.

I let the child slide out of my arms and rubbed her face. “Don’t worry little one,” I whispered. “Nothing is going to keep us apart again. I promise you. I just want a chance to be your daddy.” More tears trickled from my eyes. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Brooklyn Valentine.”

Saying her name was so surreal. It was as if I was dreaming. Nothing could have felt better than knowing she was my child. Although it had started out terrible, this day was the best of my life. I had a daughter, and already she’d brought joy to my life. I’d either died and gone to heaven, or had been given another chance at a happy life. Either way, I would put everything I had into giving this little girl everything her heart desired. I’d be the best daddy, and she’d never know what pain felt like, because I’d spend every waking minute keeping her safe.





Chapter 29


It was obvious that Kat and her husband were having it out. He kept raising his voice, making me want to keep Brooklyn occupied so she wouldn’t get upset. We fetched some of her toys and began playing together on the floor. I still couldn’t get over how easy it was being around her. Nothing about this made me feel uncomfortable. She was a gift from heaven. Her bright blue eyes were exactly like mine, and when she smiled I saw myself through them. She didn’t know who I was. The child was too young to understand something as complex as that.

Time slipped by so quickly. Before I knew it two hours had gone by. Kat and her husband had taken their conversation outside, leaving me alone with Brooklyn. She didn’t seem to notice they weren’t around. I kept playing with her, making her smile and giggle. She liked me, which only caused me to fall in love with her more. She showed me more toys, and even her room, before leading me back into the kitchen to play with her dolls again.

I heard Kat come back inside the house. She was sniffling, letting me know she’d been upset. I still wasn’t going to feel sorry for her, not after everything. I needed to be mad.

What she couldn’t understand was that I knew I wouldn’t hate her forever. It was stupid to try to convince myself of that. Kat was my soul mate. Even in the worst of times, my heart belonged to her. Yes, she’d hurt me. In this moment I was inconceivably grasping for ways to remain calm. This situation wasn’t easy, not for any of us. Our lives were all about to change. From now on I was going to be a part of my child’s life. She had to have known that when she told me about her. Maybe it hadn’t gone as she’d planned, but I now knew the truth, and nothing was going to keep me from pursuing it.

I could tell the child was getting tired. She put her head down on the kitchen floor and pretended to pat her baby to sleep. Since I knew nothing about children, I picked her up and carried her into the living room. She clung to me as I sat down in a chair and began rocking her. I patted her back the way she was doing to her baby. Her little eyes became heavy, and I knew in a matter of seconds she’d be asleep.

While I sat there kissing her on the top of the head, trying so hard to come to grips with everything, I saw Kat watching me. I wasn’t facing her, but could see her reflection in the window across from me. She was crying while witnessing me interacting with our child. The moment was bittersweet, also something she needed to see. I wanted her to know what she’d kept from me, and how hurt I was because of it.

When Brooklyn fell asleep, I found Kat in the kitchen sitting at the table. She was still crying quietly. I did feel bad for intruding. Maybe if I had waited she wouldn’t have been fighting with her husband. “I’m sorry if I caused you problems, Kat. When you pulled away earlier, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I had to see her, and I wasn’t even thinking that I would be walking into what I did. He didn’t even know I was alive. My God, he looked like he was staring at a damn ghost.”