Bereft (Seven Year Itch #2)(53)

Perhaps Chad was right. Maybe I did need to spend time with Grayson. It was possible this would change everything. Until I knew what I wanted for sure, I was prepared to do whatever it took to figure it out.





Chapter 30


Grayson


Imagine being so close you could touch the one you loved, but not being able to reach those few inches to do so. That’s how I felt sitting next to Rachel and hearing her weep. Her sobs were inflicted by my actions. Once again I was pulling at her heartstrings, and I didn’t know what to say or do to make her feel better. I didn’t even know if I was the person she needed to make it go away.

After a while I knew it was useless to stick around. I got up and began to prepare dinner. There were a few times where I had to stop and take a few deep breaths to relax. It was hard imagining her forgiving me. I knew it when I asked her to come. With time running out, I needed to figure out a way to break through her barrier. She had to let me in again, or else this would all have been for nothing.

Rachel came inside a little later, carrying an empty bottle of wine. Minus the one glass I’d had, she’d drank the entire thing. Since I knew better than anyone how much of a lightweight she was, I wondered how I was going to open the doors of communication with her three sheets to the wind. “Are you okay?”

“I will be when you open another bottle.”

“What if we wait until dinner is served? I don’t want you passing out on me before the main course.”

She shrugged. “Whatever. Do you need help?”

I handed her two plates and some silverware. “Just set us up. I’ll bring everything over to the table.”

She walked over and set two places, sitting down at one. She was different, but still as beautiful as ever. Her hair was styled in wavy curls, and I’d never seen her have so much color in it before. Then there were her nails. They were a dark red. She’d never painted them a color, but always gone for a nude French style. The woman sitting before me had changed, yet she was the one I vowed to love forever. I’d broken promises, but my love hadn’t faltered. Still, I didn’t think it was enough to get her back.

The only problem with not having electricity was fixing everything on the outside grill. I’d prepped the food in the kitchen, and taken it outside to cook. After several trips, the food was ready to eat.

Dinner was finally served, and once we were sitting across from one another I felt anxious again. Rachel began cutting up her fish, while I focused on filling her glass and keeping her content. I’d opened the doors to the back porch and a light breeze was blowing in. The candles lit so we were able to see made for a good ambiance. “I’ll probably light a fire after dinner. It might get chilly.”

“Let me guess, it’s the only source of heat.”

“You’d be right,” I said while aiming my fork toward her. “It adds a bit of tranquility, don’t you think?”

“I think you’re planning on getting me on that rug over there. It’s not going to happen.”

I bit my tongue to keep from saying something that could offend her. “You know me better than that, Rachel. I’d never push.”

She raised her brow. “Really? So how was it that you got Kyla to sleep with you? What did you promise her? Did you buy her extravagant gifts? Did you promise her stability?”

“No. It’s not like that at all.” I shook my head and placed my fork down on my plate. “I told you before, I never came onto Kyla, not even once. She came after me. She basically threw herself at me. I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Not one time did I ever think about her in any other way aside from being Steph’s friend. I never asked for this to happen. I know it did, and I can’t turn back time, but I’m begging you to let it go. She means nothing to me. She never did. I f*cked her, just like you f*cked your friend. You say it’s not the same, but isn’t it? You waited how many days to turn to someone else?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it without saying anything.

“Don’t forget I saw you through the window, Rachel. It doesn’t matter if you were acting out or seeking revenge. You f*cked someone else, and I’m pretty sure you still are. You think it doesn’t rip me to shreds?”

“I know it does,” she argued. “I know I’ve hurt you. You still cheated though.”

“Rachel, we’re still married. Telling me you want a divorce doesn’t make it legal. You are still my wife. We’ve gone longer without being together before. This isn’t irreparable. You know it isn’t. Stop running away from me. I need you, and I think you need me to.”

“You’re wrong.”

“About what part?”

“About me needing you. I’ve done fine since we’ve parted ways, Grayson. In fact, I’ve never been happier. You want to pull Chad into the conversation, let me just tell you how amazing he’s been. He’s always there for me. He has my back, even when it comes to forgiving you. He told me to come on this trip. Could you be that unselfish? Would you be willing to let me go for someone else?”

“I can’t compete.” I shook my head. It was obvious she wasn’t going to give in. It was always her way or none at all. “No matter what I say to you, you’ve made your mind up already.”