Undone(65)

Sasha decides it would be a good idea for ‘us girls’ to hang out at her place after school. I think she wants to cement Louise’s place back in the group with some serious girl time. Even the thought of it makes me uncomfortable. Things are easier when the boys are around. Simpler somehow. Everyone knows what they’re supposed to be doing, and the focus is nearly always on the boys and their antics. Take that away and all you’re left with is talking – and these people don’t even speak my language. At least I’m spared the presence of Amber this time – she’s got netball practice. Netball is the most pointless sport in the entire world; I can see why she loves it so much. Someone should really do her a favour and inform her about the invention of the sports bra though.

Sasha’s bedroom is so huge it even has a seating area. It looks like something from MTV Cribs. I’m the last one in, so I end up sitting on this massive cushion with a swirly black and white pattern. I have to look up at the others so I’m at a disadvantage already. Sasha and Nina are on the sofa (Sasha with her feet casually draped over Nina’s lap). Louise is opposite me on the window seat. I think I’d like to have a window seat one day. It will have a spectacular view of something spectacular, and I will sit there thinking deep thoughts about deep things. Then I remember that dead people don’t have window seats. It’s not the first time I’ve found myself forgetting that my days are numbered.

‘Jem?’

‘Mmm?’

‘You and Lucas? I was just telling the girls.’ Sasha has that look on her face – the one that says she wants to talk about sex and nothing’s going to stop her.

There’s no way I’m talking about it – especially not in front of Louise. She’s still acting all friendly towards me, and I’m starting to think it might not be an act after all. Maybe – just maybe – she’s realized that she was wrong about me – that I’m not a terrible person after all. Or perhaps she’s realized that there’s no reason to hate me now that Kai’s not here. It’s not like I’m taking him away from her any more.

All eyes are on me. I have to say something, and it turns out that something is ultra lame. ‘I’m afraid I operate a strict anti-kissing-and-telling policy.’ I try to look cool and smug.

‘Bullshit!’ Sasha rolls her eyes. ‘Besides … you two have been doing a lot more than kissing.’

I mime zipping my lips and throwing away the key. Sasha needs to learn that however stubborn she thinks she can be, she will never be more stubborn than me.

Weirdly enough, it’s Louise who comes to my rescue. ‘So Nina … how are things with you and Stu? Hot and heavy?’ A look passes between me and Louise, in which I acknowledge this favour and she acknowledges my gratitude. Or perhaps it was just a look.

Nina leans forward – she’s clearly been gagging to talk about Stu. ‘Totally hot and heavy! That boy has a … oh, what’s the word again? Like, he likes a lot of sex.’

‘A voracious appetite?’ The word ‘voracious’ rolls off Sasha’s tongue as if she likes the way it tastes.

‘Yeah, that’s it. He wants it all the time, you know? Not that I mind – he’s good at it!’

I refrain from saying that maybe it’s because he’s had so much bloody practice. A monkey can learn to perform a simple task if he has enough goes at it.

‘And lately he’s been really sweet, you know? He’s different when it’s just the two of us.’

Louise laughs. ‘Yeah, the difference is that he has his cock inside you.’ I half-expect one of the others to call her out on being so crude; I should have known better. I can’t help wincing though … it’s too vile for words.

Nina laughs along with the other two. ‘Well, there is that. But he’s started walking me home, and we text every day. He’s even stopped complaining about using condoms.’ The fact that she considers these things to be sweet is wrong on so many levels, but Sasha and Louise don’t bat an eyelid. ‘And I know you’re not going to believe it but –’ she pauses to give me a meaningful look – ‘last night he asked me to be his girlfriend. He said he doesn’t even look at other girls any more.’ Another look in my direction as if to say, You were wrong. So there.

Sasha sits bolt upright in an exaggerated fashion. ‘What?! You have got to be kidding me! Stu Hicks in a proper relationship?! What the hell have you done to him? Nina, he must like you a lot. I mean, really like you.’

This is exactly what Nina wants to hear. She squirms with glee. ‘Reeeeally?’

‘Totally! I never thought I’d see the day …’ Sasha shakes her head, like this is some kind of modern-day f*cking miracle.

‘I knew there was more to him than everyone says.’ Nina sits back, looking massively pleased with herself.

For the first time, I’m actually glad I came. I couldn’t be happier that things are (supposedly) going so well between Stu and Nina. It just makes it all the sweeter, really. I’m willing to bet things won’t be going so swimmingly by the time I’m finished with him.





chapter forty-one


I wish I hadn’t worn jeans today. But how was I supposed to know that Lucas would come back from football practice looking like that? Face flushed, wet hair mostly slicked back, a few strands escaping and falling in front of his eyes. Damp patches on his T-shirt like he hadn’t had time to dry himself properly after his shower. And how was I supposed to know that the sight of him would produce a reaction in me that was so powerful I was glad I was sitting down?