The True Cowboy of Sunset Ridge (Gold Valley #14)(50)

That man.

And this one... He didn’t even register. One night with Colt, and she was genuinely, one hundred percent, absolutely ruined for Jared.

Possibly for anyone.

No. She wasn’t going to think that. That wasn’t productive. Wasn’t helpful at all.

“Well?” he pressed.

“Well what?”

“Are you going to explain yourself?”

“I’m sorry. Did the packing up the entire house, moving, not answering your calls, all after I screamed at you about cheating on me... Not explain things for you?”

“Just... What the hell?”

“What do you mean what the hell? You cheated on me.”

“Not technically. I mean, we were kind of broken up. Because we had that fight...”

She’d spent a lot of the last couple days processing her relationship. Remembering why she’d stayed. Remembering that he’d been there for her when she’d needed him.

Now wasn’t the time for that.

Now wasn’t the time to be fair or measured or any of that.

“You know what? I’m glad that you cheated on me. I’m not going to let you wiggle out of it, but I’m not upset about the cheating. What I’m upset about is that it took cheating to get me to leave you. Because you are useless. You’re a deadbeat. And you’ll find some other woman to sponge off of, because that’s who you are. And unfortunately there are too many women in the world out there that are like... Like me. Who are afraid if they let go of a person who says that they love them, they’ll never find that again.

“But love isn’t just words,” she continued. “Love is doing things. And I did that for you. I did. I gave you my heart. I gave you my body. I gave you a house. And together we...we made a child and we lost her. And we never did figure out where to go from there, except we were just...stuck, weren’t we? I guess that’s why I was still with you.”

“Hey,” he said, his voice changing, taking on that placating apologetic tone that he always affected when she was mad at him. When he was losing an argument. “Baby. We’ve been together for so long. And I guess I started to take you for granted. And I’m sorry. That’s not who I am. That’s not what I want.”

“It’s what you did, though. And you know what, it’s not even nostalgic for me anymore. So whatever you could’ve done, however you could have used this... It’s not going to work that way for me anymore. It’s not going to grab me anymore. Because I don’t love you. I love myself too much for that now.”

Because she had woken up. She just had. She had suddenly breathed deep, and she had realized how shallow it had all been before. She was awake now.

“I came to town, and I found the hottest man you have ever seen, and I banged him. And it was amazing.” She was breathing hard now, her words pointed like a dagger, and maybe she wanted to hurt him—she sort of did. But even more than that, she wanted to claim something for herself. This victory.

“It was the best sex I’ve ever had. I didn’t know sex could be that good. Do you know why? Because I only ever had sex with you. You’re bad in bed. You’re whiny. You’re selfish. You’re less accomplished than I am. You don’t want a girlfriend. You want someone to be your mom, and if you could’ve had me wipe your ass, you probably would’ve asked for that too.

“But I’m done. I’m done. Because even though all I have here are fragments of a future, they are better than what I had with you. I’m still piecing it together. I’m still figuring out what I want. But the one thing I’m absolutely certain of is that it will never, ever be you. Not ever again. So yes, I’m glad I answered this call. I hope that things seem clearer to you now.”

“You’re such a bitch sometimes, Mallory.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m a big old bitch. Go fuck yourself.” Then she hung up the phone, her heart beating fast. And she laughed. Because that wasn’t the high road, not even close. And she wasn’t even sorry.

She felt elated. Electric. And suddenly, she started to cry. Not because she was sad, but because she felt like she had well and truly shed a heavy, painful burden. Because she felt like she had actually, finally separated herself from that millstone. He would’ve pulled her down beneath the surface of the water. He would’ve drowned her. But it was over. Now it was over.

And she was free.

And here, in Gold Valley, she had a one-night stand she hadn’t been able to escape, a helpless baby that needed care, a clinic that needed to be revamped and new patients to get to know. She had her brother, her sister-in-law and a new niece or nephew coming. And she wasn’t sure yet how all those pieces fit together. But they were pretty amazing pieces.

And they made her feel alive.



CHAPTER ELEVEN


OVER THE NEXT few days Colt, Mallory and Lily settled into a routine. It worked so well to have Mallory staying in the house that it had stopped becoming a question. He felt bad, because she had gotten her cabin all set up, and she wasn’t really inhabiting it, but it just didn’t make much sense for her to go up there when she was taking every other night with Lily. They had decided that trading off would help with work. And on days when she didn’t have clients, she took Lily down to the clinic, while a couple of other days Colt had stayed home.