The True Cowboy of Sunset Ridge (Gold Valley #14)(51)

He was going to start bringing her to the ranch, but he needed to make sure that he had the right kind of sling that would support her fully while he rode on the back of a horse.

And in the back of his mind the whole time, he kept thinking that any day Cheyenne might come back.

True to his word, he had the police do a welfare check on her. He knew that she’d gone back to her house. But he hadn’t been able to get in touch with her. He had called once, and she hadn’t answered. Then after that, her phone had been off. But he kept thinking that soon, soon she would come back. But he continued to amass baby items and continued to get more deeply entrenched in the situation, regardless of the fact that he knew that it was only temporary. And finally, it was time for the family dinner. Mallory decided to go with him, and he decided to bring Lily, which he knew was a little bit of a gamble. But... Part of him wanted to share her.

Wanted them to meet her. Because she was Trent’s little girl. And that had mattered. He mattered. Sharing her seemed... Like a decent thing to do, really. When he walked into the living room, Mallory was already there cradling Lily, who was dressed in the frilliest pink dress he had ever seen.

“When did you get that?”

“I saw it in a boutique on Main Street the other day, and I couldn’t pass it up.”

“That’s really something.”

“She’s so cute,” Mallory said, smiling.

And there was something about the glow on her face as she looked at Lily that made... Well, it made his chest do something strange. And it was bad enough... The sexual tension, because that was a hell of a thing. But then there were all these moments that felt like something else. Something deeper, and he didn’t like them. Of course, talking to her about his actual damn feelings over fajitas probably hadn’t been the best idea, but it had happened. So what could you do.

“I have a headband too.” She popped a little pink band around her head, a large rose on the front.

He groaned. He took Lily from her arms, surprised at how natural it had become in just a few days. She was so tiny. That he really wasn’t used to yet. “All right, Silly Lily,” he said. “Frilly Lily.” And he laughed.

“Was that a dad joke?”

He suddenly went stiff, his whole heart turning to cement.

“No,” he said. “I’m not her dad.”

Mallory blinked, her face falling. “I know that. I’m sorry. I was making a joke. Apparently a bad joke.”

“Just so we’re clear.”

“Clear,” Mallory said.

He felt like a dick. “It’s just that Trent...”

“I get it,” she said. “He was her dad, and that’s really important to you.”

That, and the idea of him being someone’s dad... It made him want to peel his skin off.

“Let’s go.”

They got in her car—which was what they did when they took Lily anywhere—but this time he was driving. It was one of those strange things that couples did. Drove each other’s cars. And they were not a couple. Just how hard up he felt right now was testament to that.

He sighed heavily and didn’t even bother to hold it back. There was no point even thinking about it. Not any of it.

They were in a screwed-up situation. It wasn’t like anything else. They certainly weren’t a couple. They certainly weren’t a family.

But it was amazing what a few days of sleep deprivation and caring for an infant could make you think about.

It was the way people were wired, he supposed. If he believed in fate in any capacity, he supposed he had to acknowledge that.

They were designed to do this. Produce offspring. Pair off and take care of it.

When they drove underneath the big sign that read Hope Springs Ranch, Mallory made an amusing sound. “Has it always been called that?”

“What? Hope Springs?”

“Yes.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I guess the man who discovered the actual springs called it that because finding water like that brought him hope for success. The name stuck for the ranch. I always thought it was kind of a sick joke.”

“Because of your parents?”

In more ways than one.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. I mean, I’m really sorry. I know it’s not the same. But I loved my first sister-in-law very much. And my niece...”

“Yeah,” he said.

He hadn’t even really thought about that. He was aware of course of Griffin’s losses from all those years ago. But he hadn’t really connected them to Mallory. Or how they would’ve hurt her. But losing a child in a family...

That made his stomach clench tight. Turn over. He had known Lily for only a few days, and he wasn’t blood related to her, but the idea of something happening to her nearly sent him into a full rage. She was so tiny, so vulnerable, and it felt like it was his responsibility to protect her from... Everything out there in the world. At the same time he felt wholly and totally unequipped to do that. He had failed to protect so many people in his life.

“That must’ve really hurt,” he said, his voice rough even to his own ears.

“It did. I can’t help it, but I think about her sometimes when I look at Lily. I have dealt with countless babies, but my niece was really the only child I took care of more long-term. It’s been a long time, but that’s not something that you forget. It’s not really a grief that eases. You just kind of have to make room and learn to breathe around it.”